Crafty Christmas

I've found that there's a spectrum of Christmas gift-giving through which I move, depending on my mood and our financial situation. The year that Eleanor was born, and again this year, I've made most of our Christmas gifts. My thought is that I'm home all the time, and we don't have a lot of extra cash.

And yet, I spend so much money on all the craft supplies .... I wonder if doing all of this extra work is even saving any money?!? Of course, I do enjoy making gifts, which is part of the motivation, but it's still a lot of time and effort. I promised myself that, this year, I would actually write down everything I spend instead of just guesstimating. This way, if I spend just as much as I would have if I had bought presents, next year I will buy online with no feelings of guilt.

One place my gift-giving spectrum never goes is to the malls. I have no desire to shop in overpriced stores with cookie cutter inventory. If I'm not making my gifts, I'm most likely buying them online via Etsy or Amazon, or in person at Target or discount stores like Marshall's and Tuesday Morning (that's where nearly all of Eleanor's and Declan's gifts came from this year).

I'd like to post links to some of the items we (Keith helped a lot!) made this year, but since we haven't exchanged gifts yet with Keith's family, I can't really do that. Instead, pictured is the
no-sew tutu I meant to make for Eleanor. I even bought the supplies, but ran out of time. I guess it will be a random, Thursday morning in February gift, whenever I get around to making it. Incomplete crafts: The gifts that just keep on giving!

Financial Nesting?

As the baby's due date gets closer, I realized that I was getting paranoid about some massive, unforeseen expense popping up.

Last time around, we chose to buy a bigger car (the Toyota Matrix) the Fall before Eleanor was born. Then we found out we had to replace our windows, which was going to cost upwards of $10,000. And the final straw before she was born was that our roof started leaking, and we replaced it the week before birth. They actually finished on Saturday and I went into labor in the early hours of Sunday morning.

I thought that was bad enough, but it was only the start. Once she tested positive for a slightly elevated lead level, we stepped up our plan to replace ALL the windows (so far we'd only done about 70%), got new siding on the house and garage, and also replaced the garage doors. All items that we hadn't planned on and which were not accounted for in our budget. Our greatly reduced budget, which included a lower income thanks to me working part-time, and higher expenses of childcare.

So here we are. In terms of getting ready for the baby mentally and physically, I'm really enjoying all of this time at home. Financially, of course, the fact that I'll be off for at least 5 months instead of 3 is a bit worrisome. Plus we've spent a lot of money over the summer on Eleanor's new room, new furniture for the living rooms, storage shelves in the basement .... a lot of smaller projects (smaller than a new roof or siding, anyway) to get the house just how we want it before the baby arrives. Finally, there's all sorts of unknown possible medical expenses that may or may not occur once the baby is here.

And yet, I am very surprised to find that I'm not overly worried about the money, which I (being the perverse sort of person I am) worry about. Does this mean there's something I'm not considering? Have I forgotten a factor that will push us over the edge into complete financial ruin?

But I think I'm actually experiencing the benefit to all of our unexpected, major expenses last time. This time, our budget is tight. And there's always going to be unforeseen expenses (Hello, $400 to clean our dog's teeth?!?). But as we've managed to stay afloat over the past few, slim years, I'm started to feel like the chances of the expenses being as high as last time as pretty slim. I've already seen the worst! Are we going to replace our roof again? Replace all of our windows again? No.

So when the dishwasher wasn't working earlier in the week I was worried, but not as freaked out as I could have been. And Keith even fixed it on his own, no service call required. Just do me a favor: if you think of some other potential financial disasters, don't tell me! Let me stay in my happy place for a little bit longer, where the worst is behind us and our financial outlook is, if not sunny, at least not full of hail and tornadoes.

The Present Situation

I know that Eleanor's birthday party was weeks ago, but I'm still thinking about a few of the kid-related party issues that come up every year. So indulge me, please, as I reflect on her party, and whether we want to do things differently next year.

So far, we've thrown pretty big parties for her. We invite family on both sides, lots of her friends and their parents, and some of our own friends as well. For Eleanor's 3rd birthday, there were almost 30 adults present, and 11 kids (all under the age of 5). We're always pretty excited that we've made it through another year, and we want to share that joy—and surprise—with our friends and family.

However, with inviting so many people, I always feel awkward about presents. There's a range of relationships represented, and I don't really feel that it's necessary for everyone to give her a present. Her grandparents always ask for ideas weeks in advance, and get her the best presents (better than ours, for sure). I'd never really bother telling them not to get her anything, because it would be fruitless. On the other hand, there's more casual acquaintances that we'd like to come and celebrate with us, but I wish there were a better/less awkward way to really convey to them, "We don't expect a gift. Honest. No one will be upset."

Every year, we put "No gifts required." on the Evite, but mostly it gets ignored. The other part of the problem is when people actually believe us. We have done the typical kid party sequence where everyone hangs out for an hour or so, chatting, grazing, playing, waiting for the majority of party attendees to show. (Although with kid parties and naptimes, I'm not really bothered if someone shows up more than an hour late.) When we think everyone's arrived, we gather together to light the candles, sing "Happy Birthday" and pass out the cake. Once everyone has their cake, then Eleanor opens her presents.

How do we not do this as a public spectacle? Because when we do, it can seem kind of awkward for those few brave souls who come without a present in hand, because we say "Don't worry about it!" on one hand, and on the other hand it seems like we're publicly calling them out for their lack of gift. I thought this year we would go around and open up presents in front of individual people so it was less public spectacle and more personal. That way everyone could see the reaction to her opening the gift (fingers crossed it's always good!), but by moving around hopefully there's not as much emphasis on the present-opening as show, so people aren't keeping track or feeling awkward about what they did or didn't bring.

Except, that didn't really work. I didn't really take into account that all of the presents would be in a pile right by her seat, and she just kept diving in. Plus other kids always love to help (I must point out, Eleanor is always that kid at others' parties, trying to rip the paper or pull out the tissue paper), so it was Eleanor and I plus various toddler helpers, and our group was not terribly mobile. So we still ended up sitting in front of the group, opening presents in front of all.

What do you do for kids' parties? Does everyone bring presents? Do you open them in front of all? As a guest, do you ever feel comfortable not bringing a present, even if specified on the invite?

I'm thinking next year might be the year to scale back a bit, and have Eleanor's first "friends" birthday party with just a few invitees. But, when the time gets close, I'm not sure if I'll be able to stick to that. So we might be confronting the situation all over again. Not to mention, we're doing it all over again in October!

Dam(med) Ice! House Repair # 2,463

For those of you wandering over from Facebook, you may not be aware of the fact that our house is a money pit. We moved in June 2006, so not quite 5 years here. In that time, we've spent:
$8,000 new roof and gutters
$12,000 new windows
$13,000 new siding
$1,000 new garage doors
$34,000 TOTAL

In other words, we've spent almost 20% of our house's value (or should I say former value, since it's dropped so much) on additional improvements that we hadn't been planning on. This isn't counting 1) a few jobs less than $1,000 or 2) the optional improvements like adding a deck, patio, landscaping, etc. All of the construction ended last May, and we've been living in relative peace and comfort since then. Until The Ice.

Last week, we were running around shoving towels into window wells because the ice and snow from the roof was melting down behind the gutters and running down the side of the house. Our screens were caulked into place, and didn't have weep holes, so the water was pooling between the screens and windows and seeping under the windows into the house.

After that fiasco, Keith and my dad drilled some holes into the bottom of the screens and Keith also knocked off a lot of the ice around the windows. (We still have towels in the window wells, just in case.) And yet, the home disasters don't stop!

We spent most of the day Sunday at my parents' house. When we got home Sunday night, around 7:30, Eleanor and I came inside. Keith parked the car, and Beckett came inside with him and went straight to the back door to go outside. I think I was the one who let him out and saw that the back porch was falling apart. The railing nearest to the house had somehow broken. What the ....?

"Hey, Keith!" I called. "Come look at this!"

I think Keith is the one who lifted up his head from what was directly in front of him and realized that the damage was a lot more extensive than I'd realized. Looking to the left of the porch, huge blocks of ice and twisted metal (formerly the gutters) littered the ground. Looking up and to the right, we could see that the only remaining section of the gutter on the entire back of the house were the 3-4 feet attached at the corner. Gazing out into the backyard—where Beckett was happily roaming—all of lines from the back of the house (power, cable, phone) were also on the ground. Hmmmm .....

The good news is that everything was still working. I put Eleanor to bed while Keith called the electrical company. They came out later that night to temporarily reattach the power and told us we'd have to call the cable and phone for the other lines, but it would be safe for Beckett to go outside until they came. This is a good thing, because cable said they'd come on Monday and still haven't shown up. The phone company was a bit more realistic, cheerfully telling me that it would all be taken care of by Friday.


I guess this doesn't exactly fit in with the other household projects mentioned earlier, because the insurance company should be picking up the tab. But we still have to go through the process of finding the contractors, scheduling the work, and either getting reimbursed or getting insurance to pay up front.

How much is all of this time and angst worth? I can calculate how much money we've spent on the house, but the stress and worry all of the repairs (and financing of repairs) has brought us is incalculable. I know it's unrealistic to think that we could go an extended amount of time without any minor house repairs. But it would be nice to get to the point where it doesn't feel like the house is falling down around my ears.

What to Do? Sunday Morning Edition

We've gotten in the habit, lately, of Keith taking Eleanor out of the house on Sunday mornings so I can get some work done. In theory, it could be anything from cleaning to working out to actual work-related work. In reality, it's always grading and lesson planning, because I'm always behind. Maybe some day that will change .....

But for now, we've had a really hard time finding kid-friendly activities on Sunday before noon. With budget cutbacks, it seems like most local libraries don't open until 1 o'clock on Sundays, and same with many of the museums. During this long, snowy, cold, snowy, gray, snowy winter, going outside isn't always an option.

In case some others have been having the same problems, here's a few of the local activities that we've found:

• The Cleveland Museum of Art is one of the few big museums that's open early (10:00am) on Sundays. And it's free! The parking does cost a few bucks, but I think that Sunday morning it's easy enough to find street parking. This is definitely a good option, and we love free things because—as all parents of toddlers know—there's no predicting how long you'll be able to spend there. So if you don't have any money invested, it's a lot easier to accept leaving after 15 minutes because the child had decided he/she'd rather play with the Playdoh at home. We're also wary of burning Eleanor out on this option, so we probably only do this once a month or so, if that.
  
• The Children's Museum of Cleveland also opens at 10:00am on Sundays. I've heard good things about their activities and that toddlers really enjoy the hands-on opportunities. If it's so great, why haven't I gone? The downside to this option is that it's one of the most expensive ones. Because it's aimed at children, unlike 99% of places, children under 3 are NOT free, but neither are the adults. It's $7/person for everyone 1 year and older. That's not terrible, but what can I say? We're cheap. I think of this one as a planned-ahead activity that we only do once in a great while.
• In good weather or in bad, the Cleveland Metroparks are also a good option. When it's warm enough, we can go hiking or sledding (like we did the other weekend). But even if it's too cold or rainy, there's lots of nature centers, lodges, etc., that have animals, books, and indoor activities to keep Eleanor entertained. All of their Nature Centers open at 9:30am and are, of course, free!
• It's sort of a sub-category of the Metroparks, but there's also the Cleveland Zoo, which opens at 10:00am daily. As I may have mentioned, however, we're "thrifty," and Cuyahoga County residents get into the Zoo for free on Mondays, so we tend to avoid going on the weekends. (The Zoo is normally $7 for adults and $5 for kids 2-11 in the off-season, aka now, and $11 for adults / $8 for kids from April through November.)
• Another option I was considering, but haven't looking into much yet, was joining the local Rec Center. They are open, but it wasn't clear to me what activities there were for parents and toddlers, if any. There's stern warnings against toddlers coming into the workout area with all of the weight and cardio machines. But if they have babysitting, so Eleanor can hang with some peers, I can get in a workout at the same time, AND Keith can sleep in, I think it's a win-win-win situation!

Of course, the flipside is that I should just get myself out of the house. I could get up and head out to the local coffee shop and let Keith and Eleanor have free reign over the house.

If you have any good, kid-friendly suggestions for Sunday mornings I'd be happy to hear them!

MY WTF Moment and the Idea of Margin

I finally got around to telling you all about my new 5:30am workouts because I really wanted to tell this story and it's important to know that it takes place before the sun has even considered touching the horizon.

Last Thursday, I got up at 4:50am (okay, 4:56) and got dressed and drove to bootcamp. I didn't take my phone or my wallet because, really, who was I going to call? What was I going to buy? I suppose Starbucks would be open ... but who needs caffeine after an invigorating workout?

In case you can't tell where this is heading, I was only halfway to the workout place when the empty light on the gas gauge pinged on. I can't stand driving with the gas light on. No matter how many times Keith tells me that I still have a good 20-30 miles to go, and it's only 5 miles to the workout place .... I don't really believe. I may logically understand it's true, but I spend the entire time in the car gripping the steering wheel, imagining all the horrible things that will happen when I run out of gas and get stranded.

So I did manage to make myself drive to the bootcamp and deal with it afterwards. But I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with it, exactly. I had no wallet and no phone. What are my options? Am I brave enough to risk driving all the way home? Even if I were, Eleanor had a check-up at 9:10am and then I needed to leave for work at 10:45am. Lately, getting Eleanor out the door has been difficult, to say the least. If I didn't get gas on the way home, what were the chances that we would be late to her appointment or I'd be late to work?

My brain couldn't handle it. I had to get gas ASAP or my head was going to explode from the anxiety and fear. I remembered I had a few bucks in the glove compartment. So after bootcamp I hurried out to the car and checked.

I had $3 in bills and one more dollar in quarters. So that would be enough for just over a gallon of gas. I'd feel stupid buying $4 of gas with change, but it was better than not getting any gas at all.

I went out of my way to go to the gas station closest to the bootcamp. I pulled up to a pump wit a sigh of relief. I had made it! The world wasn't going to end!

I went inside to pay my measly $4 to get the pump turned on. Some irate woman was leaving as I was entering and she said something about having difficulties paying. I said I had cash instead of a card, and figured it wasn't a problem. I went in, paid my cash, and went back out to the pump.

And then.

It didn't work.

The cashier came out and yelled something to me that I couldn't hear so I went back in. He handed me back my cash and said the pumps weren't working. I stared at him.

"BUT I NEED GAS." I stated, slowly and clearly. "This is all of the money I have and I'm out of gas."

The young man shrugged apathetically. "All I can tell you is that I'm pressing the buttons and they're not working."

I walked out, my $4 in hand. What now? Surely the car was going to run out of gas now; it seemed destined. I just kept thinking, "What the F#@k?!?"

(Digression: Keith and I don't swear much at all. Honest! Which is especially important now that Eleanor repeats everything we say. Like that time we were in the car and Eleanor kept telling us to "Strap Up!" instead of "Buckle up!" or "Strap in!" and I told Keith, "It sounds like we're a bunch of trannies!" and Eleanor happily chatted about being trannies all the way to the Botanical Gardens. So I'd never drop the F-bomb at home, but it seemed warranted in this situation.)

I mean, really. How does this happen? The gas station DOESN'T WORK?!? Who does this happen to? It was one of those moments when it feels like the entire world is part of a conspiracy to drive me insane.

But, no matter how much I overreacted, the world didn't end. I drove to another gas station and got gas there. I was nervous when I pulled up because the car at the pump ahead of me was running, its owner was standing by the pump. Just standing—not pumping gas or doing much of anything. I paid my $4 (again) and went back out to the pump to hear him talking to a woman who had just pulled up, explaining how his keys got locked inside. Whew! Not my problem.

My $4 got me to a quarter tank of gas, and the rest of the day passed uneventfully.

Once I calmed down, I kept thinking more and more about how the morning only became such a disaster because I was unprepared. I had known for the past week that I needed to get gas, but I kept putting it off because I felt like I really didn't have enough time to stop. I consciously decided to leave the house that morning with neither cell phone nor wallet, because I thought I wouldn't need them. My WTF moment was completely of my own making.

And it reminded me again of an article I had read almost 3 years ago over at a personal finance website called The Simple Dollar. The article was actually a book review about Margin by Richard Swenson. I had even blogged about it in "3 Jobs Too Many" when I first read it.

At that time, I said:

My understanding of the concept is that people function best when they have margin in their lives—space and time that is unaccounted for. This way, when something takes more of your time and effort than you had expected, you have some leeway in which to deal with it. Minor catastrophes and time-sucks can be dealt with.

On the other hand, many people today schedule their lives without any margin at all. (Can you see me raising my hand?) No margin in time, so I'm always racing from one activity to the next. And no margin in mental tasks, so I get worn down because I'm constantly thinking and evaluating and planning something else. When you're living with no margin, the smallest glitch can cause a ripple effect and suddenly it feels like you've completely lost control.

It drives me crazy that I still feel the same way. I absolutely think that I would be calmer and happier if I had margin, but it is still a foreign notion to me. I'd like to blame it on being the parent of a toddler, but the reality check is that I originally wrote it in March 2008—several months before Eleanor was even born.

What's it going to take to get a little bit of breathing room in my life? So I'm not stuck at the gas station at 6:30am with $4 in my hand, no gas in the tank, and a rock of anxiety and fear in my chest?

I might need to actually read the book.

One Right "Financial" Decision

When I was complaining about our finances earlier, I looked through old blog entries to find a good picture to use with it. That's how I came across "Weighing Future Financial Options," my post from when I was pregnant with Eleanor and debating whether to continue working full-time or not.

Wow. I am so glad I didn't do that. And even though I complain about wanting more money, Eleanor is so much more important than that. And we do have enough money that it is tight, but definitely feasible, for me to work part-time until she's in school.

It means so much to me that I am her primary caregiver. Her alphabet? I taught her that. She knows that polygons are flat shapes with all straight sides, like a triangle, because of a book she and I got from the library. And whenever she ends a sentence with "or not," like, "Are we going to the playground or not?" she sounds just like me.

She's a wonderful, amazing little girl. And if I have to give up frou-frou coffee drinks for years, I will do that to keep spending time with her. It doesn't always feel like it, but I do know the money will sort itself out with time. And by then, Eleanor and I will have spent many happy hours together.

Still Waiting for the Disposable Income

Earlier this week, we paid off a loan. It was the smallest of our many loans for house improvements, but according to schedule we would have paid it off in August 2011. Paying off a loan almost a year early should feel really good, right? You would think so, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

I'm starting to get frustrated at our lack of disposable income, which is a bad thing because the situation isn't going to change any time soon, for 2 reasons. Number one, I will keep working part-time until Eleanor is in school—or until any other kids we have are in school. So my income is not going to increase in the new few years, and we will continue to have childcare costs.

The second reason is that we owe a lot of money. Between education loans, mortgage, and all of the money we borrowed to fix up the house in the past 4 years, I feel like our debt-to-income ratio is quite unfavorable. The amount of money we put towards debt, every month, is quite substantial.

On the other hand, I know that part of the reason our disposable income is nonexistent is because of our personalities. Keith and I are both savers. We are saving a good chunk of money for retirement, a piddly chunk of money for Eleanor's college, and we are also putting extra money towards our loans, in order to get rid of them more quickly. These are all good things, but they still make me feel poor when I can't afford a coffee at Starbucks more than once a month.

Finally, I know a big part of why I'm so worried about our finances is because we are naturally at the lowest income level for our adult lives (see reasons mentioned above, mainly: young children). This predictable state of tight budgeting just happens to hit at a time when economy's around the world are, like us, somewhat strapped for cash. And I think this is the part that really freaks me out. Right now, we don't have a lot of cushion. If something terrible were to happen, we don't have much to fall back on. And something terrible, in terms of job loss, is happening to people all over the country—and they are finding it nearly impossible to find a new job. What then?!?

So here I am. We're continuing with our debt snowball repayment plan. Or I guess a modified plan, because we're not sticking with the smallest loan first strategy. We chose the order of payment based more so on interest rates (getting rid of the highest ones first) and threw in a few smaller loans along the way at certain times, just for the sense of satisfaction. The important part is that we are committed to continuing our same debt payment amount per month, whether it's going to 5 loans or one remaining loan, until everything* is paid off.

I feel good about that choice. I yearn for the days when we're not so encumbered by debt, and our choices won't be so heavily influenced by the ultimate question, "Can we afford it?" And to have everything paid off by 2013—no more car loans, education loans, or home equity loan by the time Eleanor is 5—would be pretty amazing.

Except that, today, that still feels too far off. Debt accumulates in the blink of an eye, and takes sooooo long to pay off! It feels like we're making sacrifices on a daily basis, but the debt glacier doesn't ever move. Even paying off the one loan isn't enough to convince me that this is actually feasible. That it will all be worth it, and one day we will be (nearly) debt free. I guess I'm really afraid that we'll spend all of this time watching our budget, having no disposable income, and then something else will come up and the situation will never change. I know, I know .... if we've already paid old loans off by the time something new comes up, we technically will be better off. But I can assure you, it won't feel that way.

Am I making any sense, or just sounding whiny? A part of me realizes that we're doing fine, and we are lucky that we're both employed and able to pay our debts and living expenses at all. But the majority of me seems to believe that everyone else has more money than us, lives better, and drinks Starbucks all the time.

*Except our primary home mortgage loan. Because that doesn't count, right?

Still buried, but digging

I'm still completely overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do this semester.

This isn't really all that unusual. I felt the same way—much worse, actually—at this time last year. The difference is that I think I might have reached the point where my efficiency can go no further.

I have done so much since I started teaching to improve my processes. The class I'm currently teaching is one I've taught not once, but twice before. I know the book, the lesson plans, and the assignments. True, I'm tweaking because I'll always be tweaking. But it's not the deer-in-the-headlights, what am I doing tomorrow? feeling it once was.

And yet, I'm still always behind. I still have too much grading and not enough time with Eleanor. And I'm starting to think that this level of work is not sustainable for me right now.

When I started teaching, I was told that there's a cap on how many hours a part-time adjunct professor would work. I immediately assumed I would be working right at the cap, and calculated my budget accordingly. Looked good!

But this is the first time I'm actually at the cap, and I'm completely miserable. I think I need to start rethinking the budget, because it's not worth the time I'm spending away from Eleanor, or that I sit next to Keith on the couch in the evenings, ignoring him because I'm doing work again.

I actually feel a little bit better, having decided that it really is just this much work. It's not me, it's not something I need to be doing differently to be better, faster, smarter. It's just a fact, and I need to figure out how I'm going to deal with it.

Storing in the Cloud?

Right, so, my posting lately has been dismal. There's a couple reasons for this. Work (which is a different post) and our external hard drive.

A few years ago, we bought an external hard drive, which we use to store all of our pictures and music, as well as some other miscellaneous files. Okay, pretty much everything. It's hooked up to the network and we can access it from any computer, so it's very convenient.

Except, of course, when it's not. And it hasn't been for the past month. The drive has been exceedingly flaky, I can never get to any of the pictures—folders just start disappearing and reappearing. Keith has been tearing his hair out over the issue for a few days now, without a lasting solution.

It's freaking me out. At this point, I think everything is still there and we'll be able to retrieve it. But I wouldn't say I'm 100% certain. And that's every picture we've ever taken of Eleanor.

We've talked before about online storage, but have never seriously considered it, since we're always loathe to add another monthly expense into the too-tight budget. But we're starting to wonder if it's actually something we can do without.

Do any of you use online backup? How do you make sure your files and digital memories don't disappear?

The Sweet Sound of Distant Hammering

As I write this, Eleanor is napping in her crib. I am sitting on the porch swing, enjoying a warm breeze and sunshine. Since we found out about the lead last July, the side porch has been off-limits. But now with the siding and indoor/outdoor carpet, we can again swing in peace and tranquility.

We are done hiring contractors. The only lead abatement item left is stripping the two living room doors/frames that we weren't willing to replace. I've ordered some paint stripper and we are going to take care of that ourselves. (And of course, pictures will be posted!)

I said that we're done hiring contractors, and I desperately hope that's true. We are done with all the work that we were planning on. But of course, it's the unforeseen that always gets you!

But the contractors finished the siding in early May—just in time for my month off before summer semester started this week. It was perfect timing. I've greatly enjoyed being home with Eleanor, and again feeling safe and healthy in our home.

We did one more massive cleaning, top to bottom, after the contractors were done. Since then, we've let the cleaning slide a bit. We're not on a total cleaning strike, but I am enjoying the feeling that I can see a little bit of dust on a picture frame without worrying that I'm poisoning my child. Now that it feels like the danger has passed, I do want to institute a saner, gentler cleaning schedule. I'm sure I'll get around to that soon.

Eleanor's lead levels have been normal since last November, but she does get tested one more time, at her 2-year appointment in July. I feel like we've done everything we can to protect her since we realized the magnitude of the problem, but I will be reserving my final sigh of relief for when I hear her levels are still okay.

But for now, I'm enjoying the peace and quiet. I'm enjoying being outside without guilt and fear. In particular, I'm enjoying that a house on the street behind ours is getting a new roof. I hear hammering, chatter, nailguns, the radio, and miscellaneous clatters. Which reminds me that we had our roof replaced the week before Eleanor was born. They finished on Saturday, and Eleanor was born on Sunday morning. So the whole contractor ordeal started even before she was born.

And now, it's over. Or at least hopefully on a long hiatus. Working on the garden around the deck felt like we were moving on. Getting back to projects that we wanted to work on, instead of being in disaster-containment mode. I know that the list of house projects never really ends. I just hope that, in the future, the projects are ones of our choosing, on our own timeline.

A Mother's Release: Permanent Solutions

When weighing our lead-abatement options, we had a county lead inspector come and look at our house. According to his findings, none of the interior paint was a problem. The only issue was the old windows and exterior paint on the house and garage. The soil right next to the house and garage was also contaminated.

Replacing the rest of the windows was a given—that we would find a different contractor was also a given. We also needed to do something about our 4 exterior doors, and then make the big decision: whether or not to install vinyl siding.

The two doors in the living rooms have gorgeous, beveled glass panes and would cost a fortune to replace. We tried to find someone who would strip them and repaint them, but didn't have much luck. While we continued to look at our options for those doors, last Fall we went ahead and hired someone to replace the two doors that don't face the road and that weren't particularly attractive.

It was a miracle! It was only a small job, but the contractor showed up on time, kept the work area very clean, and finished in a timely manner. So when it came time to get quotes on the rest of the replacement windows and possible siding or repainting, that contractor was at the top of the list.

We found all of our contractors on the list of state-certified lead abatement contractors. It was a pretty random, frustrating process. I'd search on the state's database for contractors with current lead abatement licenses. I'd get a lot of results that were irrelevant: contractors from all across the state (I couldn't figure out how to narrow it to just our area), or contractors who only did inspections and not actual abatement work. I had a goal: every week or so, I'd call 5 more contractors. Of those 5, 2 might never answer or call me back. Two might talk to me on the phone, but never get around to actually coming to the house. If I was lucky, 1 would actually come and look at the house and give me an estimate.

The estimates ranged from under $2o,000 to over $40,000. In the end, we did decide to get vinyl siding over our original wood siding. We preferred the look of the natural wood, but it was just not cost-effective or particularly safe to stick with the lead-painted wood. We would have to repaint at the very first sign of cracking, which meant a recurring cost every 3-5 years, instead of 5-10, which we had originally planned on. Plus, it would need to be lead-safe painting, where the painters put drop cloths on the ground to pick up every paint chip that falls so that it doesn't further contaminate the soil. The paint can't be dry-scraped, because that would also release lead dust, so the whole process would be much more time-consuming and, of course, costly. It just made more sense to get the vinyl siding now and be done worrying about it.

We also hadn't realized that we would need to replace our garage doors and windows. The garage and the doors were painted with the same paint, and any friction surface creates lead dust, so that added on to the total, too.

Unlike the first window replacements, everything became much simpler once we made our choices and hired a contractor. We used the same contractor who had replaced the two doors, and again they did an amazing job. They worked diligently, cleaned up every night, and the job was done in a few weeks. So although we've had some very bad contractor experience, at least now I feel like I have one contractor that I would want to call again!

A Mother's Torture: Cleaning

Before Eleanor's elevated lead levels (ELL), I had never really cared about dusting. Keith would notice if things were dusty before I would. I just never saw the dust gathering, and, therefore, certainly never did anything about it.

That particularly held true for the first year after Eleanor was born. I was wearing myself out, trying to keep up with everything, and enjoy time with Eleanor, AND get some sleep, too. Something had to go, and I made the conscious decision that housekeeping would be it. So there were tumbleweeds of dog hair blowing through the living room on occasion. So what? I just needed to stop running myself into the ground and let the house get a little messy. No one ever died from a little dust, right?

But post-ELL, everything changed. Suddenly, we were bombarded with information about how to clean our house, from top to bottom, and do it repeatedly. Once again, I felt overwhelmed with new information and incredibly frustrated. Why did I not hear anything about this before she tested above normal? Prior to the testing, anything I'd ever heard or read focused on incredibly expensive fixes—replacing windows and doors, installing vinyl siding over lead paint, removing tainted soil down to 2 feet and filling in with clean soil. We did what we could afford and what we thought was most urgent when we replaced the majority of the windows. But we couldn't afford to do all of it at once, so we stopped and kept our fingers crossed.

But just now, at this point, I'm learning about all of the low-tech solutions? Why the hell wasn't this info available before?!? If I had realized that the solution (at least a part-time one) could be so cheap and easy, of course I would have done it! Again, I blamed myself for not being well-informed. Somehow, I should have known this.... but now, nearly a year later, I wonder. I have an MA in English. I and my web developer husband spend a lot of time online. In my prior hours of searching for lead poisoning prevention, if I had never really come across this information, then surely it's not just me?

And thus, our cleaning purgatory began. In the short-term, we closed all of the old windows, never to be opened again. We forbid wearing shoes in the house, since they could track in lead-contaminated dirt. That patio project last August? That was to cover up the bare ground outside the house that was Beckett's landing spot off the back porch, because bare soil is a big "no no." We took down nearly all of the blinds in the house, because blinds hold a lot of dust. The only blinds that are still up are in the bedrooms, and those were washed and re-hung.

While we started looking at all of the expensive long-term solutions mentioned above, we cleaned exhaustively and repeatedly. At first we were advised to use Dawn powdered dishwasher detergent because, for some reason, it picks up lead dust particles better than your average cleaner. So we did use that for a few weeks, but then switched to our regular cleaners based on the advice from the lead inspector who said it wasn't necessary to keep using them on a regular basis.

The cleaning schedule went through many revisions. At first, we tried to clean the house from top to bottom, every week. This takes a serious amount of time and effort. Think of every knickknack on every surface of your house. If you have kids, picture all of the toys on every floor. Now imagine handling every single one of those items, carefully washing them down to get rid of any possible dust ... doesn't leave much free time, does it?

Additionally, we stopped sweeping because sweeping could kick up lead dust, and instead we started used our HEPA-filter vacuum everywhere. The main problem with this switch is that it meant we couldn't clean while Eleanor was sleeping. We could wipe down surfaces, but the vacuuming would have to wait and, therefore, so would the mopping.

A few times, Eleanor spent the night at my parents, which gave Keith and I a whole day to clean. It felt like the only way we could get it done. By the end of the day, we would be exhausted and frustrated. Was it even doing any good?!? We had implemented so many changes—how could we know which ones were effective? Was it really the monotonous cleaning, or was it simply the fact that we closed the old windows, and all of the cleaning wasn't really necessary? There was no way of knowing, and we didn't want to take any chances.

It quickly became apparent that we couldn't keep up with cleaning the entire house on a weekly basis. Plus, it was pretty hard to believe that a significant amount of lead dust was entering every floor, all the time, especially once it got colder and we closed all the windows. By this past Spring, the cleaning schedule had changed to:

• The first floor vacuumed and mopped every week
• One other floor vacuumed and mopped each week
• The additional floor also has all hard surfaces wiped down

So one week we might vacuum and mop the first and second floors, and then wipe down everything on the second floor. We moved from basement one week, to first floor the next, then to second floor and attic. That meant each floor was getting extensively cleaned once a month. We felt like it was a decent compromise between our original, massive amount of cleaning, and a more reasonable schedule that still left us feeling like our home was relatively dust-free.

Of course, all of this was just an interim solution while we figured out what the long-term solution would be, and how we would pay for it.

Too Many Choices

I hate Costco. There, I've said it!

I know many, many people who are big Costco fans. (Are there Costco stores in the UK or New Zealand? It is a big warehouse store, where you have to buy a membership to shop there, presumably saving much more money over the course of a year than an annual membership costs.) I've been trying, but so far I'm not convinced.

Being a warehouse store, of course, the place is huge. The carts are huge. Everything you get comes in bulk. Why buy one frozen pizza when you can get five? 10 gallons of soup at one low price!!!

Everything seems like such a good deal. Even if I go in with a short list, I buy much more than what's on it because our Costco is inconvenient for us to get to, and so I space out Costco trips as much as possible. So I always figure that, if I see something I want, I'd better go ahead and buy it now because it might be awhile before I come back.

There's too many choices. It's overwhelming! And I'm constantly trying to do math in my head to figure out if they really are good deals or not. Guess what? I was an English major. Math is not my strong suit. It just makes my head hurt.

Eleanor and I went earlier this week (necessitating this rant, of course!) and I came armed with a list and coupons. I didn't think I went too far off the list, although I did pick up a few items that are perennial favorites in our house. Some things I only bought because I had the coupons, and with the coupons they would be worth it. BUT, when I got to the register, I learned that the coupons weren't valid until 2 days later. WHY does Costco send coupons out to its members, like, 2 months before they are usable?!? It drives me crazy.

So every time I go, I spend $100-200, in addition to my regular grocery shopping. I always tell myself that I'm spending money now to save money in the long run. But I'm not really sure that I've ever seen that eventual savings.

Maybe I'm just not doing a good enough job of accounting for how the money is spent. Maybe if I tracked every penny, I would be convinced. But right now, I'm thinking that I will not be renewing the membership next year.

Travel Budgeting

Just FYI ... in case anyone who reads this lives in the U.S. and is "covered" by health insurance and thinking of a trip to Costa Rica ..... remember to budget $300 per adult for vaccinations such as Hep A that your insurance probably won't cover.

I Can See Clearly Now

As I mentioned—very briefly and bitterly—a few months ago, we are getting all new windows for our house. Because our house is old and the windows are incredibly drafty—oh, and have lead paint.

But windows are quite expensive, so we ended up doing just over half of the house now, and will have to do the rest another time. The installation took FOREVER. Nearly 3 weeks, to be more precise. It's because we chose custom windows, built by a local shop, instead of mass-produced ones. And, apparently, our house is a one-of-a-kind crazy building where the frames don't match the window size and the walls vary in thickness from the top of a window to the bottom. That sort of thing.

I was going to blog about getting the windows put in as it happened, but it was just too depressing. They finished maybe one window a day, and then lost a day here because of weather, another day there because someone on the crew was sick .... yeah. It was a long process.

However, they are now in and they look fabulous. We can already tell a huge difference, particularly in the living room where the biggest windows are. I doubt we'll save as much in heating bills as we spent on the windows in one winter, but give it a decade or so and maybe we'll break even.

It's just so difficult to relax or feel at ease in your own home when you have contractors on the premises. Eleanor and I had to hide in the basement whenever I was feeding her, which felt like most of the day. Plus I dreaded hearing that there would be another delay, and all the uncertainty of never knowing when they'd be finished.

And yet, by the end I was a little sad to see the contractors go. The same two guys had put in all the windows. They'd told Eleanor how beautiful and smart she is, and exclaimed over what a wonderful dog Beckett is. They even threatened to take Gomez home with them, too, because she'd also befriended them. The house felt a little empty on the first day without them. But it felt a lot warmer, too.

Our Pizza Box Holder

We haven't been very good about cooking lately. Partly because we've been busy, and I've been extra tired. And partly because we know we won't have the discretionary income in a few weeks to be ordering out all the time.

I've started referring to the stove as our "pizza box holder," since it seems to be doing more of that lately than actually being fired up. I hope we're not making it harder for ourselves to adjust after the baby arrives. Falling into bad habits now that will be hard to break later.

But I figure, any habit we have now is irrelevant post-baby. I don't really think we can assume that anything will be the same when we get home from the hospital. So even if the stove is a pizza box holder now, I think we'll be able to see it in a whole new light with Little L around.

It will be the surface on which we slap together peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Missing in Action

Sorry I've been MIA for such a long time. I've been trying to put my finger on why I haven't written lately, but I'm not exactly sure. There's plenty to write about, but I just never seem to have the energy to sit down and write about it. And maybe that's the problem; I'm just too tired.

The short version of what's going on today is:
1) We've recently learned that we need to replace all of our windows, due to lead paint issues. Just when we were coming to terms with that, our roof started leaking. So we'll go from being in a pretty good financial position (1 student loan paid off a few months ago, nearly ready to pay off the car loan that isn't even a year old yet) to looking at taking out a substantial home improvement loan just to get our house livable again.
2) On the other hand, remember when I was talking about my gardening project? Apparently, by buying 5 bags of mulch, we got entered into a raffle to win a $100 gift certificate to our local garden center ... and we won! We were shocked; Keith and I never win random games of chance. Unfortunately, we can't really spend the money because we're waiting for the soil testing results to come back. If the soil around our house is contaminated with lead, any hot spots need to be dug out down to 2 feet to get rid of the hazard. So not much point in planting new flowers.

Old houses can be so charming! See, just writing this brief summary makes me want to take a nap.

Penny for My Thoughts?

In general, I wouldn't call this blog "incendiary." "Meek" or "mild-mannered" might be more appropriate terms. I don't talk politics or religion or morals; I just talk about the minutiae of daily life. And yet ... some issues must be discussed, even if my readers might find them upsetting.

I think you all should know that I'm for abolishing the penny. There! I've admitted it. Sometimes, a person just has to take a stand. And I say, the penny has long outlived its usefulness.

Does anyone remember that episode of The West Wing where they discussed this issue? Some people wanted to do away with the penny, but then everyone in Illinois was going to be upset because Lincoln was getting the shaft, so the idea always stalled out. They quoted all sorts of statistics of how much money is being wasted in America every year because the handling of pennies in retail transactions is more expensive than the financial gain of receiving one cent in payment, if that makes sense.

I just wanted to go on the record and say, with the current state of the economy and quickly-rising prices, I think the penny is silly.

Although ... what would that do to gas prices? Maybe I need to reconsider my stance after all. So much for me being a hardliner!;)

Merry Belated Christmas to Us!

As I originally mentioned in November, this past Christmas Keith and I decided to exchange fewer gifts, and save our holiday budget for one bigger gift to ourselves as a couple—a gas fireplace in the living room.

Fast forward to the end of March: we have the guy coming tomorrow to install our fabulous new gas logs. I really, really, REALLY hope this works out. We've had so many false starts with this project. First we heard that we could, then we heard our city never lets anyone install ventless gas fireplaces.

Then we determined that yes, indeed, we can install a ventless gas fireplace in our city. But then we started getting prices and quotes. Installation quotes that were more than double what we estimated. The kind of quotes that would push this optional upgrade project over the $1,000 mark. NOT an option at all.

But here we are, at last. With gas logs purchased at a good price from Keith's aunt, and a much more reasonable installation quote. I'm still nervous, though. I won't believe that it's all actually come together until we're done. The logs are installed, the checks are written, the house inspector has signed off, and the whole family is enjoying a roaring fire.

Speaking of a roaring fire, maybe I should go ahead and start planning our next Christmas present for next year. Maybe then it will be ready on time!