Missed Moments: Quiet Weekend

Several events happened in the past few weeks that I'd meant to blog about, but never got around to. There's no point in going back and trying to recapture everything since October 17, but I do want to mention a few of the most memorable moments.

We got home from the hospital on a Wednesday afternoon, and Keith's family visited in waves for pretty much the next week. It was nice to spend one-on-one time with each individual family, but it was also very busy. The visits ended the following Thursday, when Keith's parents left for a family wedding in New York City ... and took Eleanor with them.

When my mother-in-law first proposed taking Eleanor with them, on this 4-day trip, our first reaction was "No way!" It seemed crazy. How could she possibly survive without her mother and father for 4 days?!?

But the idea of getting a long weekend with just Keith and the baby and no distractions (Sorry Eleanor, but you are very distracting.) grew on me. Part of the sleep deprivation this time around is due to the fact that, no matter what time Declan falls asleep or how many times he wakes up, Eleanor will still be up by 7 or 7:30am. This is particularly offensive on the weekends. So we could get a long weekend of really, actually sleeping when the baby sleeps, instead of playing dress up and reading princess stories? I'M IN.

We gratefully took up Karen's kind offer, and it seemed like a wonderful idea ... until the car was loaded up on Thursday morning, Eleanor gave me a hug and kiss good-bye, and then she eagerly hopped into her carseat and was ready for the trip. Then I wanted to cry and grab her out of the car and run back inside with her. Keith held me back though, and they drove off.

Once they'd been gone for about 5 minutes, it seemed like a good idea again. The house was so quiet and peaceful. That day, we picked up the blocks and dress-up clothes and books ... and everything stayed put away. For days!

Even better, we had lots of time to watch Declan sleep, and talk about how adorably perfect his fingers and toes and nose are. We exclaimed over every facial expression he made, and picked him up immediately when he started crying--if we'd even put him down at all, which is doubtful. We got so much quality baby bonding time, which I would imagine is usually very rare for a second child.

To end this story happily ever after, the New York crew had a great time, too. Apparently Eleanor was on her best behavior for her grandparents, so they didn't get to enjoy the tantrums and meltdowns Keith and I are privy to on a regular basis. Ergo, everyone loved her and doted on her. Ergo, she also had a fabulous time and barely even missed us at all.

Yet, when she returned, I was never so happy to see her dress-up basket had exploded all over the living room floor. When I told her it was naptime and she shouted "No!" and stomped her feet and Declan started crying, I wanted to give her a big hug and a kiss. It was a wonderful weekend, but I was glad to have both my kids in the house again.

P.S. The picture is of Eleanor "dressing up" Declan while he sleeps in his carseat, by laying a dress on him and putting dress-up shoes next to his feet. It was the first time, but I'm sure it won't be the last!

Bad Vacation Memories

While catching up on posts over at Clover Lane, I saw a post about a recent trip to Boston that her family took, which brought back terrible vacation memories for me.

We went to Boston, I think when I was in middle school. Surely it was middle school, because no other time in one's life is filled with that much angst and capacity for humiliation. It's also important to note that, in addition to my age, I was very, very excited about this trip. Some kid I had a crush on (another reason it must have been middle school) had probably mentioned in one off-hand conversation that he liked Boston, so I therefore decided it must be the coolest place in the world.

So we took a family trip to Boston. Our family vacations have always been a mix of camping and sitting around the fire, and then also visiting historical sites. Of course, there was no shortage of these in Boston. We walked the Freedom Trail, saw the "one if by sea" church, etc. None of this is really what I remember.

One day, I think we were in front of Faneuil Hall, watching street performers. This one performer picked me out of the audience to demonstrate something. I was ecstatic. Best moment of my life! I'm practically famous!!!! (Because all emotions in middle school can only be the best or the worst, and must be expressed in multiple exclamation points.)

But, as it turns out, I was the butt of the joke. The performer spent the rest of the time telling everyone that he was really trying to get my younger sister to come forward, but I just wouldn't let her, I had to hog all the attention for myself ..... It was so awful. And it wasn't true! I swear. But that was his schtick, so he kept coming back to it, over and over again, throughout the rest of the performance. I was mortified.

Of course, I would bet that no one else in my family even remembers this moment. Yet I still can't think of it without feeling bitter and a tad bit humiliated. Looking at it as a parent, rather than as an angsty middle schooler, it just points out to me again how many of my children's experiences will be out of my control. My parents took us on a trip that I was so excited for, did lots of activities I wanted to do .... and this is what I remember most strongly from the trip: being humiliated by a street performer. (At least he wasn't a mime. Would that have been worse? I can't decide.)

On the other hand, looking at this awful vacation memory as a somewhat more self-confident and assertive adult, it makes me want to plan a family trip of our own to Boston, just for my sake. I want to go back and reclaim the city that held such interest for me, and have a nice, enjoyable family vacation there where the parts I remember are the historical sites and the fun moments with my husband and kids. So, even though my kids will undoubtedly have painful memories (perhaps caused by callous street performers?), I will also have to remember that it will be within my kids' capacity to rectify/repair those memories at a later date.

Photo Credit: GSOM Student Blog

Toddler Inertia

I'd meant to blog about this topic with all of the other vacation posts, but didn't quite get around to it. And that's okay, because it's equally as applicable to everyday life: toddler inertia.*

I guess it stuck out to me on vacation, however, because I wasn't really expecting it. I mean, who argues when someone says, "Let's go build (and destroy) sand castles at the beach!" The correct answer, of course, is that Eleanor does. At length, and at great volume, and with various kicks and pouts.

It's one thing when she does it at home. It has become so hard to get her out of the house. Even to do something (pick out new library books, go to the playground, visit friends down the street, etc.) that she said she wanted to do 2 minutes ago. But when it comes down to actual movement, she balks. She stalls. She doesn't want to stop doing whatever it is she's doing at that very moment. Even if she's just playing with a piece of cardboard. Or, as she was the other morning, carrying around a raw baking potato so she could do a "potato dance."

(The key, Eleanor informed me, is that in a potato dance you just jump straight up and down. There is no forward leaping in a potato dance.)

If she's wearing a nightgown, she won't put on clothes. If she's in the living room, she doesn't want to play in the attic playroom. If she's reading books in her room, she doesn't want to go downstairs, even if it's already 9:30am and she hasn't eaten breakfast yet.

I suppose, if I were trying to put a positive spin on it, I could talk about how this shows that she is living in the moment, not always looking to the past or the future. She has embraced the Now so fully that she can't think or do past this very moment. She's already a Zen master and she's not even 3!

Except, I don't really think that's true. I think she's stubborn. Which is why she'll fight to stay put, no matter how boring her current activity and how exciting the proffered one. That is what I learned on vacation. It's not just that she doesn't want to do boring, everyday activities like grocery shopping or doctor's appointments. She also doesn't want to do ... exactly what she wants to do?

A few months ago, I felt bad because I'd pretty much ignored her for the better part of a week while I frantically tried to prepare for the start of the summer semester. So, once my online class was under control, I told her that tomorrow was going to be an Eleanor/Mommy day and we could do whatever she wanted. What did she want to do?

After talking about a few different options, she eventually decided that she wanted me to run with her, in the jogging stroller, to a nearby playground where we could play and have a picnic snack outside. It sounded great to me! I made the mistake of getting excited about our plans. And then, the next morning, I couldn't get her out of the house. After wheedling and cajoling for over half an hour to get her to please put down the book she's already "read" a million times and participate in the activities she has chosen for herself, I gave up. We sat and read the books.

Obviously, sometimes I have to fight the inertia. If we need to be somewhere, I have to suck it up and drag her out the door somehow. But it's the other times, when activities are really optional, that I can't figure out what to do. Won't she be glad, in the end, if we go? Is it really worth the fight? Doesn't she need new people and activities? Or should I just give in and, in situations where it doesn't matter, just do what she wants to at that moment? Even if it is her fifth tuber twirl?

Right now, I think I probably split it down the middle. Sometimes I stand my ground and force her to have fun, dammit. And sometimes, when I'm really tired and it's been a long week, I just sigh and throw my hands up and hand over the potato. No forward progress for that day, just jumping in place.

* For the record, Keith and I disagree about who first coined the term "inertia" for Eleanor's behavior. Because it's such an apt term, we both think it's ours. Of course, I'm the one with the blog, so I think in the end, I'll get credit:) But to be fair, I thought I should mention the disputed ownership.

Vacation Exercise

Our plan all along for this vacation was to "do" as little as possible. Beach, pool, reading/napping at the beachhouse, repeat. This was all fine and good, except Eleanor and I both have incredibly fair skin. By the middle of the week, even with constant, if somewhat haphazard, sunscreen application, we were both getting a bit crispy. So we decided to spend a day away from the water, out of direct sun.

We went to the Currituck Beach Lighthouse, which was just a short drive from where we were staying. I think the Currituck lighthouse is one of the smaller ones in the Outer Banks, but it's still nothing to sneeze at: 214 curving metal steps, up about 150 feet.

Added to that, Eleanor wore me out before we even set foot in the lighthouse. There was a short, slow-moving line waiting for the privilege to climb all those steps. While the rest of our group waited in line, Eleanor felt the need to run. She and I ran back and forth across a grassy patch, racing from one tree back to Grandpa's legs (and one unsuspecting guy whom Eleanor mistook for Grandpa) back to another tree, back to Daddy's legs .... she couldn't get enough. Clearly, from the above picture taken before the climb, I could get enough.

Finally our group was at the front of the line. This is the point where we explained to Eleanor that Mommy can only carry one child up 200+ steps, and that was the child in my belly. Eleanor would be sticking with Daddy for this adventure.

And of course, when I'm off the hook, she doesn't even get carried! She told us that she was going to climb the steps by herself, and that's exactly what she did. Every. Single. One.

Yet, when we finally reach the top, I'm actually not a big fan of heights. The lighthouse didn't seem that intimidating from the group, but the view from the top was still dizzying to me. Especially knowing that my 2-year-old was wandering around, sticking her head between the bars. Luckily, Eleanor actually felt the same way about being up there, so she and I headed down together while Keith hung out and took some pictures.

And of course, when I was in charge of Eleanor on the way down, suddenly she was tired and wanted to be carried. I tried carrying her down one flight of the stairs, but they were an open metal staircase and between my inherent pregnant off-balance and carrying Eleanor, I was convinced I was going to trip and throw her over the railing to her death. By the bottom of one small flight, I was practically hyperventilating.

Keith came to the rescue and carried her down the rest of the stairs. Between the running and the climbing and the panicking, I think it was the most exercise I got the whole week. I enjoyed a bit of sightseeing, but I was also happy to go back to the beach/nap/pool routine, too.

Vacation Kids' Clothes

When packing for vacation, we bought several sets of matching shorts and t-shirts for Eleanor. Most of her clothes are hand-me-downs, purchased second-hand, or bought by doting grandparents. T-shirts and shorts must suffer significant wear and tear at the hands (and knees) of toddlers, because for the past two years, when I get out the latest crop of used clothing, there's a dearth of these items in the pile. Add that to the fact that most of the grandparent-given clothes are adorable dresses, and you can understand why we had almost no shorts/t-shirts on hand.

What I failed to appreciate during this shopping spree is Eleanor's total disdain for shorts. This girl adores dresses and absolutely refuses to wear shorts. I thought she might be swayed while on vacation—everyone dressed down on vacation, right?—but that was not the case. Even her bathing suit had to resemble a ballerina's tutu instead of simply a bathing suit.


Here's just a few pictures of the dresses she wore throughout the week. By the end of the week, it was very clear what her main souvenir must be: a brand new beach dress. She loves it.

Since returning from vacation, we have convinced her (with much cajoling) to wear shorts on a few occasions, when we were hiking and camping. It's the opposite of my adult life, when I need a really good reason to bother with wearing a dress.

Why does it matter to me so much that she be willing to wear shorts? I don't really know. Most of the time, I don't care. Last week she wore her entire ballet outfit (tutu, tights, and ballet slippers) to music class with my blessing. Coincidentally, that's also the outfit she wore to meet Grandma Helen and Grandpa Chuck at an Art Museum outing a few months ago. She wears her two fancy Easter dresses to go to the playground or to the store.


I can't speak for Keith, but I think I pushed for shorts so much while on vacation because I want Eleanor to be better than I am at going with the flow. I am awful at wanting/needing to stick to my original plans or else. Many of you may already have noticed this tendency. I embrace Eleanor's love of dresses, and I hope she holds onto this preference; she really does look adorable in all of them. But I also would like her to realize that shorts are not the enemy, and if her five favorite dresses are all dirty at the same time (which is more likely than someone who is not the parent of a toddler might think, due to the various viscous substances of our days such as spilled milk, pee, mud, paint, and more), I want her to be able to throw on a pair of shorts without it ruining her whole day. And then she can go back to the dresses tomorrow ... as long as doing a load of laundry was part of Mommy's plan for the day.

Vacation Maternity Clothes

I knew that, going on a week-long beach vacation at 5 months pregnant, I would have to break down and buy a maternity bathing suit. With Eleanor, I just avoided it. We don't do much swimming and I wasn't feeling more motivated to swim when I was super pregnant, so I just didn't.

That wasn't an option this time around. Even so, I put off buying one as long as I could. And then, of course, it was a disaster. Target carries maternity bathing suits, in theory, but in reality it was already almost mid-June and the stock was seriously depleted. There were a few where I liked the tankini top, but the bottoms just didn't exist. I don't understand. Where are all these women who bought bathing suit bottoms and not tops?!? And at the Target near my house, the maternity clothes are all mixed in with the plus sizes, which pisses me off. I'm gaining this weight for a specific reason, in a very specific part of my body. I'm pregnant, not fat! So I'd find a suit that I thought might work, but then it was plus-sized instead of maternity, and I'd put it back because I knew it wouldn't fit.

After that, I went to two other stores (Old Navy with a Maternity section—very hard to find— and Kohl's) neither of which sold maternity suits. It was Saturday afternoon, and we'd be leaving the following Friday. So I just bought a roomy tankini from Kohl's, a few sizes too big, and called it a day.

You notice that the posted picture is NOT of me in the maternity suit? It didn't work out that well. I had to put sunblock on my belly because the top kept riding up and exposing my belly button.

All of the other maternity clothes I got for the trip were cute. I especially like the flowy, navy blue-and-white striped sundress that is comfortable yet attractive. I've been wearing the rest of the clothes all the time since we got back. But the maternity bathing suit has been pushed into the back of a drawer, only to come out on very rare occasions.

Vacation Destructor

We've been back from vacation for just over a week now, but I guess my brain has a hard time catching up, because I'm just now blogging about it. And somehow, that short time lag is enough for me to get very nostalgic. Wasn't it great, that time we rented a beach house in the Outer Banks with Keith's extended family?!? That was probably the best vacation we've ever had! It was all sunshine and laughter, and nothing ever went wrong! Eleanor cooperated by always eating what we served, going to the beach or pool without a fight, cheerfully napping on schedule, and she definitely did NOT puke in the car on the way home.

That's not to say the vacation was the complete opposite of perfection. It really was one of the best vacations we've had. BUT we all still had our trying moments, because this is real life, and I find it fascinating how my memory refuses to remember those parts of vacation. Even only a week in the past, the minor irritations and disagreements are like footprints in the sand, being washed away by the tide ....

So anyway, that's not even the main point of my post. Or I guess the main point could fit under the general vacation theme of: Didn't See That Coming. We took a ton of beach toys, and were very excited to build elaborate sand castles with Eleanor. I mean, I understand she's only 2.9 years old, so these weren't going to be works of art. But I thought it would be fun to spend a lot of beach time digging in the sand and using our imagination, instead of always being in the water or sleeping/reading on a beach towel and not paying much attention to the beach itself. We didn't do many beachy vacations when I was a kid, so I didn't have much of a sand castle building phase. I was looking forward to reliving the youth I didn't have.

If any of you have thoughts like these about your toddler, be forewarned: They don't care about the castles. Only about destruction. To Eleanor, the very best thing about sand castles—sand anything—was destroying it. She didn't like the big waves, and she had no interest in building the castles and decorating them with seashells. But the minute I had put together a decent group of building, BAM!, Destructor arrived. With a gleeful grin, she would push, kick, and render obsolete anything we had built.

The mother in me was very happy to see her having such a good time. But the 7-year-old child in me pouted a little bit. After the first morning, I quickly set aside any dreams of careful building and focused on quantity over quality. Then I didn't mind so much when she effectively razed the ephemeral structures mere moments after their erection. She wasn't a good builder, but was an amazingly efficient Destructor, our little cherub!

Heading Back from Vacation

Continuing on with the email theme this week, we're currently driving back 12 hours from our beach vacation. We spent last week in the Outer Banks, sharing a beach house with Keith's extended family. You can expect lots of pictures and stories next week. I've been kind of paranoid about talking about it while it's been going on, because I read somewhere that it's a bad idea to go on Facebook and say, "I'm going to be away from home for two weeks! Someone could break in and steal all my stuff and I'd have no idea!" So instead, somehow this week I've been focused on email, and I'll relive our vacation next week. In the meantime, enjoy Keith's Shutterboo Weekly Photo Challenge entry for this week's topic of "shadow." You'll notice a theme with his sister's photo:


And our sister-in-law's as well.

Speaking of email, this is the first time I've ever been so "connected" while on vacation. Usually, I'm a big fan of leaving the phone, computer, etc. at home and really getting a break from everything. This time, however, since I'm teaching an online class, that wasn't really an option. Instead, from day one, I've set up my desk away from home in this little kitchen nook and have been checking my email and keeping up with my class every day. I've gone from being anti-technology on vacation to being on the fence. I really like that I've been cleaning out my inbox and replying to messages throughout the week. This means that we won't get home at the end of a long drive, only to collapse on the couch and be confronted with an avalanche of emails&mash;ones I care about and many I don't—that I'll have to sort through. That's a nice feeling.

Add that to the fact that our beach house has a washer and dryer, and we're going to wash as many clothes as possible before the trip back so that's not a massive task when we arrive at home. I'm sure our return will be totally stress-free and the vacation will continue, right? Right?!?

After Hours

As a parent, I made a grave tactical error the other night.

Eleanor has been sleeping in the big girl bed (crib converted to toddler bed) since Christmas time. In the past few months, she's also convinced us to leave the door open at night so she can get out of bed and go to the bathroom. To be fair, overall the ratio of bathroom trips to unnecessary, putting-off-bed trips has so far been in favor of actual bathroom usage.

However, lately the unnecessary trips have been increasing, and we've spent more times going upstairs and sternly sending her back to bed. I've spent a lot of time trying to convince her that we are really, really, really boring after she goes to bed. We don't talk about anything exciting, or watch Sesame Street, or eat ice cream and popsicles. (Those last two do happen, but don't tell her.) "Honestly," I say, "most of the time we just fall asleep on the couch. You're not missing out on anything!" Yet she remains a skeptic.

This Friday, we're leaving for a week-long beach vacation with Keith's extended family in the Outer Banks. The plan is to leave late on Friday and drive through the night. I'm confident that part 1 of the plan (leaving and driving) will happen. I'm not so confident that part 2—Eleanor sleeps most of the way—will. That's the hope, but of course we're preparing an entertainment extravaganza, should it be needed. Lots of books and toys, and particularly books with accompanying audio CDs. She's been big into those lately, which has been fantastic because I can't read in the car for more than 5 words before I get carsick. Eleanor thinks this is a lame excuse, and complains about my ineptitude quite often on any car trip longer than 15 minutes when I'm not driving. Because if I'm not driving, my job is to entertain her. And if I can't read in the car? FAIL.

So, I've also decided to take some of her favorite books and record myself reading the stories, and load the recordings onto the iPod. Brilliant! So I can "read" during the trip, while simultaneously sleeping and avoiding car sickness. A good idea, poorly executed. I decided to try this out the other night, mere minutes after I put her to bed. The inevitable result? She pitter patters to the top of the stairs, and hears me reading fairy tales out loud after she's already in bed. She always KNEW we did fun things after she was in bed, and now she had proof!

I heard Eleanor gasp from the top of the stairs, and could picture her flapping her hands (Eleanor's preferred body language for Excited!) and then she thundered down the stairs. I stopped recording long enough to get her settled on the couch next to me and tell her to be quiet and she was going right to bed after this story. To top it off, my computer froze in the middle of the recording so I lost everything I had done AND I still had to finish the story and send her back up to bed. I tried to explain that I don't really read her stories every night after she goes to bed, but there's no way that she believed me.

And then hours later, when I was absolutely certain she (and Keith) were asleep, I opened to the first page of The Cat in the Hat and whispered to myself,

"The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat in the house
All that cold, cold wet day..."

Hunkered down in the virtual classroom

Okay, so I've made it through my first week of online teaching. I was feeling pretty good on Thursday morning. Tired, from many late nights on the computer, but good. I was through with the initial launching of the class phase, and should be into the regular maintenance phase. The workload would become so much more reasonable!

By Thursday night, my feelings of well-being had worn off. We're going on vacation this Friday to the Outer Banks for a week. This will be wonderful, and I'm really looking forward to it ... except last Thursday night, I sat down and took a look at all of the assignments, lectures, quizzes, etc. that I'll have to prepare before we leave. It's even worse than my original To Do list. It was so depressing.

I feel like I'm getting a glimpse of why online classes, particularly during the summer, can be a very bad idea for students. They like the idea of fitting in class on their schedule, around all of their other activities. But do they (or I!) realize how much work it entails when we're unwilling to spend time in the classroom. When we insist on fitting in class around everything else that we'd rather be doing, or need to be doing, it will most likely necessitate late nights and long, working weekends.

I'm going to be fine. I'll complain a lot about how tough my life is, and how much work I have to do, but I will get it done. I'm sure that some of my students will, too. And I'm just as certain that some of them won't. I already have 4 students who have never signed in to the class (keeping in mind that we've already completed 3 assignments, and 1 of 10 weeks in the class). Two others have signed in once, but not actually completed any work. I'm sure there's a few others who may be involved now, but will drop off as the reading and writing piles up and there's so many other activities going on.

Or maybe the students will be like me, and keep fooling themselves into thinking that it's going to get easier any minute. I told myself it would get easier after the class started, and that didn't quite come to pass. But now I'm convinced that, once this week is over and we're on vacation, it will get better. By the end of this week I'll have 5 of the 10 weeks completely finished. And, of the remaining 5 weeks, 3 will be focused on a novel that I've taught in the past and have a lot of material for. So it will all be a breeze for the second half of the semester, right? Right. Let's stick with that, for now!

Road Trip FROM Alabama

Okay, so I was very optimistic about the trip. And the trip down was good; we did enjoy the wedding and the family and showing off Eleanor. The problems came on the way back.

Where to start?

Well, did you know that Ford Escape Hybrid's apparently have an error message that says, "Pull over safely" and then shuts off power to the engine? They do! And that's exactly what happened to us just barely into Tennessee on Sunday afternoon.

The original plan had been to drive 9 hours on Sunday, staying at Keith's sister's house in Louisville Sunday night, and driving the final 6 hours back on Monday. We were going to be back in time for me to teach my evening class.

Instead, we spend Sunday night at a hotel in Tennessee. Because it was Sunday night, the car hadn't even been towed or looked at yet. By 10 o'clock Monday morning, it was clear I wouldn't be back in time for my evening class—the first time I've had to cancel a class since I started teaching.

In the end, Keith, Eleanor, and I made it home only 6 hours later than originally planned, which seems like a minor miracle to me. It involved a lot of help from my in-laws; we had actually driven separately to the Cincinnati-area from my parents, and left our car at Keith's parents' house in case of a Reds' game 4 of the play-offs. So the revised plan was: my parents rented a car and drove us 3+ hours up to Louisville, where we met Keith's parents and our brother-in-law at his house. To get there, Keith's parents had driven two cars—their own, and ours—so we could leave from there. We all ate some lunch (Thanks again, Jeremy!) and my parents quickly left to drive back down to Tennessee and see what was going on with their car.

We hung around a bit longer (but not much) and then Keith, Eleanor and I piled into our car to head up to Cleveland. At the same time, Keith's parents headed back to Northern Kentucky and Jeremy went back to work.

Fast forward a few hours and we're safely home. Our own beds! Our own bathroom! It was still very quiet, since Beckett and Gomez were staying with family, but it was good to be home.

Road Trip to Alabama

This is the blog entry I wrote last week, which I never got a chance to actually post:

As you read this, we are into day 2 of our road trip to Alabama. My cousin is getting married this weekend, and we will be in attendance.

Hopefully, by the time you read this, we're back on the road for the shorter leg of this 15-hour, one-way trip. It's times like these that remind me how ridiculously large the U.S. is. We live at the very northern end of Ohio, which means we spend over 4 hours just driving through our state. Then, when we reach the northern tip of Alabama, we still have another 5 hours to go, since my aunt lives on the Gulf Coast at the very southern edge of the state.

I'm looking forward to seeing family and having a mini-vacation. I've never been to Alabama; I've never spent much time in the South at all, so that should be interesting. And, clearly, it's a less arduous journey than the one we took to Costa Rica last Fall, for Keith's cousin's wedding.

We've managed to con my parents into taking us along for the ride, which means:

• More legroom yet less gas, because my parents have a Ford Escape Hybrid
• More Eleanor entertainers! Someone else to play finger puppets with!
• More drivers! (The exclamation point is purely for Keith's sake. Since he does 99.7% of all the driving, this one doesn't really affect me as much.)
  

The plan is to drive about 9 hours on Thursday and 6 hours on Friday. Spend a whole entire day in Alabama, then drive 9 hours on Sunday and 6 hours on Monday to get back in time for me to teach my evening class Monday night. Send speedy thoughts our way!

Vermont, in Conclusion

My blogging about the Vermont trip would be remiss if I didn't mention a few of the very odd coincidences that happened while we were there.

First, as I mentioned, a friend of Keith's family retired last Spring and has been hiking the Appalachian trail. What I didn't mention is that he was very, very close to our location in Vermont. The Appalachian Trail is over 2,000 miles long, only 150 of which are in Vermont, and we ended up in Vermont at the same time as Jerry. How crazy is that? We almost met up for a day with his wife, Sue, who is supporting him as he nears the finish.

Unfortunately, we missed Sue. But we did get to see one of Keith's cousins from New York City. The night before we left for Vermont, Anna posted on her Facebook that she was heading to a wedding in Vermont that weekend. Keith sent her a message and called her to say that we, too, were heading to Vermont. Where might you be?

Anna was close enough that she made it work, stopping by our campsite for a few hours on Sunday afternoon. It was so fun to be sitting in the woods in Vermont, catching up on life. The last time we saw Anna, we were on a beach in Costa Rica after her brother's wedding. It makes me wonder: Where will be meet up next? (Say "London," Fate! Please?!?)

Finally, after the trip was over, I wanted to relive some of it. I went on to our library's website to reserve some Vermont-related books. In addition to a plethora of guidebooks, I saw a book called Vintage Vermont Villainies by John Stark Bellamy II. That's weird, I thought, Isn't John Stark Bellamy II a Cleveland author?

And he was! He wrote seven true-crime books about his original home, Cleveland, before moving to Vermont. Along with the change of scenery, he changed his focus and is now telling the world about true crime in his new home.

We drove 9+ hours away from home, to come across all of these connections to home. This is one of those ways in that it seems like the world is a small place, getting smaller every day. But in a good way.

Vermont in Nature

One of the biggest surprises on the trip was how much Eleanor loves being in nature. Granted, she's always loved rocks. Playing with them, eating them, sitting in them, throwing them, putting them in her purse and carrying them around ... you get the idea.

But now I'm talking about down and dirty nature. The lake was just a short walk from our campsite. The first day we were there, Keith and Eleanor walked down to the lake and saw several boys catching salamanders and putting them in a pail. (Only to release them and do it all again.) They asked Eleanor if she wanted to hold one.

She said, "Yeah!," stuck her hand in the pail, and grabbed one by the tail. Keith stood there with his mouth open as the first salamander wriggled away and she stuck her hand back in the pail. Then yesterday, she picked up a worm. A worm! With no fear.

Not squeamish, this one! Nature's slime and gore doesn't scare her. I couldn't be more proud! I hate that I, like the rest of society, fall into stereotyping. Because Eleanor likes to wear dresses, play dress-up, carry a purse, and read, I guess I assumed she'd think slimy things were icky. I'm so glad that she's proved me wrong.

I hope that she is showing us all what individuality the next generation of women will be capable of. I know many mothers who try too hard to avoid "typical" girly things like dolls and pink and frills. But I think that it also has a place in a little girl's childhood, as long as it's not foisted upon her.

Eleanor can wear her pink dresses, have a tea party .... and then run outside to play with rocks, build a fort, and catch worms. Just like she should be able to wear a dress to work, choose her folders because they're pretty .... and be an incredibly competent, successful worker and leader.

Every morning, we went to the lake so that she could sing "Good morning, salamanders!" to wake them up. And every night, at bedtime, we went back down so that she could sing them to sleep and assure them she would be back the next morning. She is such an amazing, caring, observant little person. We had a wonderful time on vacation with her, getting to know her emerging personality. It means so much to me to have the opportunity to show her new places, and to help her realize that she has something to learn and to offer, wherever we might be.

Vermont in the Mountains

On Tuesday and Wednesday, we did get out and enjoy the natural beauty of the Green Mountains. Tuesday we drove just a couple miles to hike a part of the Appalachian Trail. A longtime friend of Keith's parents is currently hiking the entire trail, and we wanted to at least see a part of it.

The part of it we saw, however, was straight up and filled with rocks large and small. We gamely climbed, carrying Eleanor, for a little while (maybe a half-hour or so?) because heading back down. I just kept picturing myself falling or losing my grip on Eleanor, and the idea was enough to make me hyperventilate.

On Wednesday, we went to another trail that Keith had found, to the top of Bald Mountain. Even though we were hiking to the top of a mountain, it was actually a much more reasonable trail than the section of the AT we'd been on the day before. I think it was about 2 or 2.5 miles, one way. The trail was relatively broad, very well-marked, and had many switchbacks so that it was never too steep.

We weren't sure if Eleanor would last to the top, but she surprised us once again with her patience and adaptability. What was key on this hike was the we brought 1) her favorite doll, Amelia, and 2) chocolate. As long as Amelia was having fun (and we assured Eleanor that she was, quite often), then Eleanor could have fun, too. And when we stopped, she immediately asked for some trail mix and picked out all of the chocolate pieces, leaving the raisins and peanuts behind. That's my girl!

Unlike our museum trip, me carrying Eleanor the entire time was NOT an option. Keith and I took turns on the way up (although he carried her more than I did), and she did do some hiking and jumping off big rocks.

I was so shocked when the deciduous trees gave way to evergreens, and then the evergreens thinned out and we found ourselves at the top. I didn't think we would ever make it all the way!

There was white sand on the trail at the top; I assumed that this was placed there to maintain the trail, since there were few trees and enough sunlight to be worried about weeds covering over the trail. No matter how it got there, it was Eleanor's favorite part of the mountain top. I'm not sure if she ever even looked up, she was so focused on playing with the sand and throwing rocks.

The only nap she got that day was on the way down the mountain. I carried her for a short while as we started back down, but then handed her off to Keith and she fell asleep. In the picture above, she's passed out on his shoulder, and she remained that way until almost the bottom of the mountain.

I did think, on the way down, that she had the right idea. She stayed awake for the exciting hike up, but then got to miss out on the anticlimactic hike back down, past everything she'd already seen.

On the other hand, hiking down the mountain was one of my most peaceful times on the whole trip. Now that Eleanor's talking, she doesn't stop talking much. Or telling me to talk and entertain her. So I did enjoy the absence of conversation as we hiked down, hearing instead the crunch of our shoes on dried leaves, bird song, and the rustle of the wind in the trees.

Vermont in the Rain

Our Vermont trip was fabulous. It was 9-10 hours in the car, one way (including gas and food stops), and Eleanor was amazingly patient. We had a few testy moments in the car, like when she kept putting her foot on my drinking straw. So I moved my drink out of the holder to get it out of her way ... and then Keith accidentally knocked it over with his elbow.

But only a few bad moments in 20+ hours in the car is not bad at all, I think.

We got to the state park where we were staying late Saturday afternoon. We stretched our legs and set up camp. We had brought some hot dogs to cook over the fire that night, figuring we'd do a bigger shopping trip once we'd been in town a day or so. Pretty much we just settled in and soaked in our reality: We were on vacation in Vermont!

I was very proud of myself: I brought nothing "useful," other than a baby blanket I'm knitting. I brought no work-related materials, no computer!, no cards I've been meaning to write, no books I should read. Just fun books, a puzzle book, and a word game.

Sunday was another laidback day. We went to the Bennington REVOLUTIONARY WAR Memorial (speaking of which, I had incorrectly put "Civil War" in my earlier entry, which makes no sense. Either you were kind enough not to call me out on it, or as inattentive to detail as I am;) Sunday evening, it started raining about 7 o'clock and didn't really stop. So we were stuck in the tent with Eleanor, which meant we ALL went to sleep about 8 o'clock. I woke up many times throughout the night, and every time it was still raining.

The rain continued on into Monday. We put off any plans for hiking, canoeing, etc., and instead went to visit the Park McCullough House (Victorian mansion) in Bennington. It was a perfect rainy day activity, and another first for Eleanor. We've taken her to museums in Cleveland, but we've never taken her on a museum tour, where there's a group of people trying to listen intently to a guide.

Again, she surprised me with how well she behaved. Did I get to listen to every word that was said? No, of course not! Eleanor and I spent a lot of time on the fringes of the group, whispering about something in a nearby room, so as to keep her entertained and relatively quiet. I caught snippets of the tour guide, but at least I did get to see everything and read a few informative placards along the way. Keith offered to take her for a bit, but Eleanor was not okay with that plan, so she and I stuck together.

And I was much more relaxed about it than I would be back home. Because it was vacation! We got lost on the way there, trying to see a few covered bridges on the drive. But it was okay, because we're just on vacation!

I do love vacation. By mid-afternoon Monday, the clouds were clearing away and we were looking forward to more outdoor activities. However, the firewood was soaking wet. Both Keith and I tried to get the fire going and it would not happen. So we ended up at a pizza parlor for dinner. We went back to the campsite, and went to bed pretty soon after. There's not much point in staying up when there's not a fire to enjoy.

But that was okay, because we were still on vacation!

Vermont!

We're leaving tomorrow morning for a 5-day camping trip in Vermont! We haven't ever gone on vacation as just our small family: me, Keith and Eleanor. But now we're rectifying that! The summer classes are over, Fall semester doesn't start for a few more weeks, and we're hitting the road!

Keith and I spent our childhoods going on family camping vacations, and we're really looking forward to doing the same with Eleanor. We'll be staying at a state park, tucked into the middle of a national park, so there will be plenty of woods, fresh air, campfires, and beautiful starry nights.

My family was also big on visiting historic sites by day, sitting around the campfire at night. We will be honoring that tradition as well, with a Civil War battlefield nearby, as well as a preserved Victorian mansion and more.

Keith's family favors 10-mile hikes, but that might have to wait until Eleanor's a bit older.

I'm looking forward to telling you all about it when we get back!

Image Credit: Wikipedia

Spring Break!

I've been on Spring Break this week, for the first time in many years. And it's been fantastic!

I actually think I've been busier than I am during a normal work week. On Monday, Eleanor and I went to the zoo with Ashley and her daughter Noe (who turns 1 in April). Eleanor loves them both, and talks about them constantly, so she was very excited. My sister Erin was also headed to the zoo that day with her husband and son, so we hung out for a bit, too. The weather has finally turned (hopefully for good, although I'm sure we still have one big snow left). We had a great time walking around in the warm spring air.

Part of the reason that this week has been so nice is that I still did have a few hours of childcare during the days, so I could get some things done. Tuesday morning Eleanor and I went to the library for story hour and some playtime afterward. That afternoon I went to the coffee shop for a few hours and worked on our federal tax return (exciting!).

Wednesday morning Melissa came again to watch Eleanor and I finished the federal taxes and did a bit of grading. Wednesday afternoon, Keith's mother, Karen, arrived for a mid-week visit since she is on Spring Break from her Kentucky community college job, as well. From Wednesday afternoon to Friday morning, we all went outside to blow bubbles and take walks on many occasions. Karen also gave me some wonderful, leisurely alone time to go shopping,
get a little bit more work done, and read in peace and quiet.

Today, we all ate lunch and then Karen got Eleanor down for her nap while I cleaned up. Then we said our good-byes. So by one o'clock, Eleanor was napping, the house was (relatively) clean, and I got to sit and put my feet up for a bit. Karen and Keith's brother Nick passed each other on the highway during the afternoon, as Nick arrived around 5:30 tonight to spend the weekend. Right now Eleanor is in bed, and Keith and Nick and I are relaxing in the basement. They're watching college basketball, and I'm trying to catch up on a few things that were neglected this week (aka blogging).

Even though it's been busy, it still feels like a break because everything I did was what I chose, and pretty much on my schedule. I feel re-energized and ready for the rest of the semester. I don't actually have any lesson plans for this coming week ready, but there's time for that on Sunday evening.

I'm ready for summer vacation!

Day 8: The Aftermath

After the wedding ceremony, Keith and I stood and looked at the sun setting over the ocean. Eleanor was asleep on Karen's shoulder nearby.

"I think it's been worth it," Keith affirmed. (Of course, this was before the whole passing-out incident.)

I nodded. "I'm glad you think so," I said. "I'm not convinced yet."

We've been home for a few weeks now. During the trip and after, I've been asking myself that pointless, unanswerable, yet unavoidable question: If given the chance, would I do it over again?

I do think that it was the right decision to go. We wanted to be there for the wedding, and I also want Eleanor to experience travel throughout her life. I firmly believe that travel both makes us appreciate what we have, and what can be. It keeps us from getting too complacent in the quotidian details of our lives, and also reminds us of the excitement of both new experiences and meeting challenges head-on.

As a child, I traveled around the country with my family. Not counting Canada (because it's closer to my hometown that a majority of the U.S. and because it doesn't present the culture shock that I associate with foreign travel), I didn't travel abroad until I was 21. I loved our family trips, and I look forward to doing many more with Keith and Eleanor. But if I can, I also want to give her the opportunity to experience traveling abroad at a younger age. I hope that, through travel (among other things), she will see her world without boundaries, and her potential as limitless.

So yes, I am glad we chose to travel with her. I would do it again, and I do hope to do it again. Conversely, this experience actually makes me eager to travel again with Eleanor. I want to prove to myself that traveling with Eleanor isn't always going to be so disastrous. It was just bad luck.

In the meantime, we have a lot of good memories and entertaining small talk from our trip. I like to imagine we'll go back to Costa Rica someday. Maybe in five years, or 10 years, or maybe for Keith's and my 25th wedding anniversary. Whenever it may be, we'll go back and have a fabulous, illness-free time. And we'll laugh about the misadventures of our first trip to Costa Rica, but also talk about the rich experiences and new ideas that travel has given us.

Days 6-7: Taking It Easy

After Eleanor was sick, and I was sick, and THEN I passed out, our motto was "take it easy."

On Monday, Keith's entire family went on an all-day tour around some islands. We barely left the house. We spent a lot of time on the bed pictured on the left—aka the biggest bed I've ever seen. I don't know if it comes across well in that picture, but it's far bigger than just a king-sized bed. On the first night, we laid Eleanor down to sleep in the middle of the bed. Then Keith and I "squeezed" in together on one side of her, rather than risk moving her. We still had plenty of room.

We napped and read and played with Eleanor. We sat on the edge of the pool and dipped our feet in, but I don't think we even went so far as to actually swim in it, and it's just 15 feet behind the house.

Oh, and we drank lots of water. Lots and lots of water.

On Tuesday, we were heading out. Rather than do the entire trip in one day again, we split it up. Tuesday we drove back to San Jose and stayed in a "boutique hotel" there overnight. Our flight left early Wednesday morning.

There was time for a surfing lesson early Tuesday morning. Keith, Jeremy, and Anna took the lesson. Jessi and I went along for the ride. We did take the ATVs into town. I was glad to get to ride them one more time. I'd had so much fun on the way into dinner the other night and, for obvious reasons, didn't get to ride it back home.

We left the ATVs parked next to the surf shop and walked with the instructor down to the beach. As soon as we hit the shoreline, he turned and started walking up the beach, back towards our house. By the time we all stopped walking, we were closer to our house than we were to the surf shop.

As Keith and Anna and Jeremy surfed (or attempted to), I tried to decide if I was sorry to be missing out. When surfing lessons were originally mentioned, I had definitely been interested. But those were not gentle waves. At least the passing-out incident took the decision out of my hands, so I could still pretend to be wild and courageous at heart.

After the lesson, everyone was checking bags and pockets for money and keys. Keith couldn't find his ATV key anywhere. He looked at me.

"I may have left it in the ATV," he confessed. "I don't remember taking it out."

And suddenly I realized that the other shoe had dropped. This was the final nail in the coffin of our cursed trip. The ATV would be stolen, and we were going to have to buy an ATV in Costa Rica. I started wondering: how much do ATVs cost? What's our credit card limit? How, exactly, would this work?

Jessi and I walked down the beach to our house, leaving Keith, Anna, and Jeremy to return their surfboards and pick up the ATVs. When we got back to the house, I don't think either one of us said anything about the possibility of an ATV going missing. I know I didn't. I figured whether it was gone or not, it would become apparent soon enough. So no point in worrying anyone else until we knew.

Finally, the others returned. Keith had left the key in the ATV. And yet it was still parked exactly where he had left it. Some good luck, for a change!

And the good luck continued. The trip back to San Jose was uneventful. We had a delicious dinner in town that evening—Indian food, of all things. The flights back were fine and we were back home on Wednesday evening.

Although I had been imagining sleeping in my own bed ever since the first day of the trip, it was even better than I could have possibly imagined. Eleanor was fast asleep in her crib across the hall. I felt Keith's arm holding me close, and the softness of our flannel sheets. We warmed up under the covers, especially once Beckett curled up at our feet, as the night air in the room grew chilly. It was quiet; no need for a noisy air conditioner like in Costa Rica. Even with my eyes closed, I could still picture every piece of furniture in the room. It felt familiar and comfortable.

I was so glad to be home.