The Meaningfulness of Christmas Cards

This is why people despise Christmas cards.

We have lived at our current address for 2.5 years. Meaning, this will be our 3rd Christmas in our house. It's bad enough that we still get junk mail for residents who have lived here for the past 20 years or so ... but so far this month we have gotten three Christmas cards to the couple who lived here before us. These are actual cards, mailed by individuals ..... who apparently are so out of touch with the former occupants that they're not even aware these people have moved 4 hours away. Over 2 years ago.

I don't know if it's the fault of the sender, for not paying attention. Or maybe the recipients never bothered to let them know? But surely, if you care about someone enough to feel the need to send them holiday greetings, shouldn't you know where they live?

Babysitting Success

Our night out this past weekend went really well. The Dayton Flyers won (Go UD!) and we enjoyed our time away.

We couldn't help wondering, of course, how things were going back home. But we resisted the urge to call until we were on the road heading back home. According to what my parents told us, Eleanor was a little angel and everything went very smoothly. I suspect, though, that they would tell us that regardless of the truth, because they love us and want us to leave the house occasionally over the next decade or so.

Being a parent is a funny thing. A strange combination between wanting your child to become independent and wanting to take care of her forever. Why is it that I'm so conflicted? I wanted her to take a bottle .... but when she finally did I was a little sad. I wanted her to be happy when her grandparents hold her and play with her .... and when she is, I feel unneeded.

This parenting stuff is hard work. Even when we're taking the night off.

Christmas Procrastination Techniques

When it comes to Christmas again, I always fondly remember the ways I would procrastinate in studying for exams in college.

Elf bowling was probably my favorite. Silly and addictive, it saved me from hours wasted on actually revising my essay and learning topics of study. So if you need something to procrastinate from this holiday season, enjoy!

Pre-Game Jitters

I'm starting to get nervous, and tip-off is still days away.

For the first time, we are leaving Eleanor for an evening out on the town. Our Alma Mater, the University of Dayton, is playing the University of Akron in Akron, and we have tickets. This means we'll be gone around 5 hours, between driving and the game itself.

I never intended to be the kind of parent who won't leave her child with a babysitter. But, well, you can't plan on the child. And, for her first 4 months, Eleanor refused to take a bottle. So that made the decision for us.

We've snuck out of the house a few times before. When Keith's parents visit, they send us out for coffee or a quick meal. My Mom has watched Eleanor one afternoon while I went into the office for a meeting. And we even went to a friend's wedding in October—we just skipped the ceremony, showed up at the reception in time for the meal, and left before the dancing really got started.

But every time I've been gone, I've felt the clock ticking. And I knew if I didn't get back within 2-4 hours at the most, there would be a hungry baby meltdown. Which is much more ferocious and scary than it sounds. As time passed, I could feel myself winding tighter and tighter as I worried about what was going on at home. I couldn't truly relax and enjoy it.

A few weeks ago, that started to change. I don't know if the 20th bottle we tried was the charm, or if she had just decided a bottle wasn't all that repulsive. But she started to show a little interest in it. We've been working on it since then, and I'm completely confident that Eleanor is fully capable of taking a bottle.

Will she choose to take it? Well, that's a different question entirely. My parents have graciously offered to be the experimental babysitters, and suffer Eleanor's wrath if she chooses to refuse sustenance. They have seen and lived through her hungry frustration before, so I have every confidence that they can handle the situation. Between the rocking, bouncing, singing, shh-ing, and more, they could soothe their way out of World War III, if necessary.

So I'm really looking forward to this basketball game. I know that Eleanor will be lovingly cared for, and is completely capable of being fed and happy when we get home. I no longer worry that I'm abandoning her and scarring her because she's going hungry while I sip my latte. So we just might have to stop for a leisurely latte on the way home.

Lap of Luxury

My lap has been a busy place of late. Obviously, 90% of the time, Eleanor and I are hanging out. I'm soothing her, I'm bouncing her on my knee, she's standing on my legs. This is the majority of lap duty.

But the animals are also more interested in cuddling. I think they're jealous. I used to try my best to entice Gomez to sit in my lap and let me pet her, with very limited results. Once Keith even helped cover me in cat treats to try to get her attention. She never showed, but Beckett loved it.

Now Beckett has always liked cuddling together on the couch. He comes and curls up right next to you, maybe putting his head on your knee. He's not a big believer in personal space.

But both animals have upped their attentiveness. Whenever my lap is empty, they seize the opportunity. When I'm sitting at a computer, Gomez is usually curled up in my lap. (To be perfectly honest, she just left. But she had been sitting with me for about 15 minutes, I swear!) Beckett likes to join me when I'm baby-free on the couch or recliner. But it's not enough for him anymore to sit next to me. He now jumps into my lap, curls up, and rests his head on my arm.

I don't mind too much. It's nice to feel wanted. And it's nice to be holding someone who won't scream in my ear or tug on my hair.

Welcome, Father Winter!

The windows went in just in the nick of time, because winter has come early this year. One Friday, they were putting in a window in the sunshine and Eleanor and I went for a walk. The following Monday, snow was blowing in through the gaping hole in the siding as they framed out another window, and I turned off the heat so it wasn't running continuously.

I can't believe how quickly time has passed since Eleanor was born. She's already 4 months old! Suddenly it's December. Thanksgiving is past and Christmas is just around the corner. How did this happen?

I'm very excited for Eleanor's first Christmas. I'm not excited to bundle her up every time we go outside. I miss going for walks around the block, or even just around the backyard. I'm excited for her to experience snow. I feel guilty every time I pick her up and her tiny little fists have turned into blocks of ice.

Part of me is already looking forward to the Spring. Opening the windows again, sitting on the porch swing with Eleanor on a sunny day. But part of me also feels that the time is already going too fast. Eleanor has changed so much since was born, and will continue to change rapidly over the next few months.

I try to picture us in the Spring, but I have no idea what Eleanor will look like or be doing. Will she be crawling? Standing? Speaking in full sentences? (Probably not.)

So although the dark days of winter are depressing, I'll do my best not to wish away this time with my daughter and all of the experiences we have to look forward to.

I Can See Clearly Now

As I mentioned—very briefly and bitterly—a few months ago, we are getting all new windows for our house. Because our house is old and the windows are incredibly drafty—oh, and have lead paint.

But windows are quite expensive, so we ended up doing just over half of the house now, and will have to do the rest another time. The installation took FOREVER. Nearly 3 weeks, to be more precise. It's because we chose custom windows, built by a local shop, instead of mass-produced ones. And, apparently, our house is a one-of-a-kind crazy building where the frames don't match the window size and the walls vary in thickness from the top of a window to the bottom. That sort of thing.

I was going to blog about getting the windows put in as it happened, but it was just too depressing. They finished maybe one window a day, and then lost a day here because of weather, another day there because someone on the crew was sick .... yeah. It was a long process.

However, they are now in and they look fabulous. We can already tell a huge difference, particularly in the living room where the biggest windows are. I doubt we'll save as much in heating bills as we spent on the windows in one winter, but give it a decade or so and maybe we'll break even.

It's just so difficult to relax or feel at ease in your own home when you have contractors on the premises. Eleanor and I had to hide in the basement whenever I was feeding her, which felt like most of the day. Plus I dreaded hearing that there would be another delay, and all the uncertainty of never knowing when they'd be finished.

And yet, by the end I was a little sad to see the contractors go. The same two guys had put in all the windows. They'd told Eleanor how beautiful and smart she is, and exclaimed over what a wonderful dog Beckett is. They even threatened to take Gomez home with them, too, because she'd also befriended them. The house felt a little empty on the first day without them. But it felt a lot warmer, too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, to Americans and our friends across the globe!

I never have a shortage of things to be thankful for, but this really has been an amazing year. At the top of the list:
- family
- friends
- health
- relative prosperity
- warm socks

I am also very thankful that Keith is off for the rest of the week. We might actually get to spend a few hours together, not running around doing errands and constantly handing off the baby. Fingers crossed!

Is Santa Worth It?

So, like I said, I've done most of my Christmas shopping online. I only have a few particular items in mind that we will actually need to venture out in public to purchase.

This is the second or third year that I've shopped this way, and I'm a big fan. You can find things that your loved ones actually want, easily compare prices for the best deal, and fit "window shopping" into the small chunks of time that one carves out throughout the day, in-between other tasks. Most importantly, you can avoid stores at Christmastime.

I love the holiday season and Christmas cheer. But malls/stores involve people. And that's never good. Especially when they're waiting in line, or in need of something specific and in a rush ... I can feel my shoulders tense just thinking about it. So avoiding the holiday shopping crowds is one of the most important reasons to shop online.

However. This year, Keith pointed out that we probably want to take Eleanor to get her picture taken with Santa. I think it's a good point, and having that picture will be very meaningful for years to come.

But I'm not convinced that I'll be able to handle it. It's not just venturing out in public with a baby, aka ticking time bomb. And it's not even just zipping in and out of a store. It's standing in line. For Santa. At a mall.

If anyone has advice on how to make it through this experience, I'm open to suggestions!

I Heart Etsy

As has become my habit, I've done most of my Christmas shopping online this year. Primarily at one place: Etsy. I adore Etsy. I'd heard about it awhile back at Dooce, and always figured I'd like it, but this is the first time I've really been and shopped and I'm very impressed both with the usability of the site and with the wares for sale.

I particularly like the feature that I could choose to shop locally. So I went online to find things that were being made in my area that I would never have found otherwise. One seller is even located in the very city I live in!

It's amazing how the Internet can be used to access merchants both far and near. I can buy CDs in the UK and ship them directly to my friends there .... or I can find a jewelry maker who lives 10 minutes away from me. It's a beautiful thing.

Keepin' It Together

Do you know what I realized today? It's been a very long time since I've worn a belt. Really that was one of the first things to go, about this time last year, when I became pregnant. I could keep wearing my usual clothes for quite some time, but they didn't exactly need any help keeping them up.

Today I got "dressed up" for Eleanor's 4-month well doctor's visit. I wore the size jeans that I wore pre-baby, which was pretty exciting. And I even put on a belt!

Real Simple: Scarf Knitting Pattern

Thanks to a comment from Anon on an old post, I'm featuring the knitting pattern from Real Simple magazine that first started me knitting .... I don't even know how long ago it was. I was living in Dayton at the time, in my first apartment .... so I think it must have been the fall/winter of 2001. Wow. Longer than I realized!

I was going to just link to their website for the pattern, and avoid any issues of posting someone else's content on my site. However, I just tried to find the pattern there and apparently their archives only go back a couple years, so I don't think this is available. So here it is, in a very abbreviated format. I didn't include any of the actual knitting instructions, but if you watch the YouTube video above, you'll be all set!

Real Simple Scarf Pattern

1. Purchase Size 8 (5 mm) needles and six 50-gram (1.75 oz) balls of yarn. The original scarf had two color stripes, so you might want to do the same.
2. Cast on 35 loops.
3. Knit 25 rows per color.
4. To change color, cut the yarn from the old color, leaving a 6-inch tail. Then add the new color in your next row.
5. When you're done, cast off! No fancy fringe or anything with this scarf.
   

Cloth Diapers

So far, so good!

We really like our cloth diapers. After many recommendations from friends, and good online reviews, we went with the Bum Genius 3.0 diapers, purchased at Cotton Babies.

For the first few weeks, we went with disposables just because we weren't yet willing to commit to the time and effort of washing and assembling the cloth diapers on a daily basis. And the disposable diapers were convenient .... but I hated having an overflowing trash can all the time. And we thought they smelled strange in a chemical sort of way—maybe from the super-absorbent filling materials? We were probably influenced by the fact that we were already planning on cloth diapering anyway, but overall I just wasn't a fan of the disposable diaper experience. It's expensive and wasteful ... and Eleanor started getting a diaper rash, which cleared right up when we made the switch.

On the other hand, we started with the cloth diapers about week 3 or so. We made sure to start when my Mom was visiting, so we still had plenty of help around the house:) The diapers come in a variety of colors, as shown, and are pretty attractive. They're very easy to put on—just as easy as disposables.

On the downside, the washing process does take a while, since you need to run the washer 3 times and then the dryer. So it requires some advance planning when you get low. Also, at this point in time, the diapers are significantly more bulky on Eleanor than the disposables. This is because we got the "one-size" diapers that adjust to fit your baby through potty training (35 pounds). So they may give Little E some "junk in the trunk" at the moment, but that effect will lessen as she gets bigger and we expand the diapers.

Overall, we really like the cloth diapers and are very happy about our decision to go with them. Since we've started using them about 2 months ago, we've been on the same jumbo pack of disposables for outings and the occasional lapse when the diapers are being washed. For us, disposable diapers are useful in certain situations, mostly when we're out and about, but cloth diapers are definitely our first choice.

Back to What Passes for Normal

Finally, after a bit of upheaval, it's just another day in the life. A hectic, unpredictable day. But at least one without specific appointments and errands.

The trip to Cincinnati went really well. I was shocked and impressed by how well Eleanor did being handed amongst 30 or more of Keith's relatives and friends. We had some good friends stop by too, so it was really nice to have some time to sit and chat while Eleanor roamed from one aunt to the next.

Plus, there was an unexpected benefit to the trip: previously, Eleanor had cried when Keith held her, and only really calmed down for me. But it would appear that after she's realized just how many people there are in the great wide world, Keith doesn't look so bad anymore. As he puts it: 2 out of 2 isn't very good, but 2 out of 30 is a lot better. So now she's daddy's little girl!

As always, the worst part of the trip was the driving. But this time was even more brutal than it had been. Friday night, for the trip down, we left at 10 o'clock in the evening so she would sleep the whole way. Which she did, and we were grateful. But once we arrived, she awoke to eat, get her diaper changed, etc., so we didn't actually get to sleep until about 4 o'clock in the morning. And when she awoke at 7 or 8, demanding our attention, it was rough.

In contrast, on the way back she was awake for at least 10-20 minutes of crying every time we strapped her back into the car seat. Which happened a lot, because we stopped several times to feed her along the way. It's not that long of drive, but we went to his aunt's picnic first, and then stopped at friends' in Columbus .... anyway, the drive back just dragged on forever.

But being in Cincinnati was good, and I think she managed to charm all of Keith's relatives. (Jan, would you agree?;) And the ensuing chaos for the rest of the week was due to the fabulous news of Gavin's arrival. Finally, Keith and I had our first big outing this weekend, sans Eleanor: a wedding on the west side of town. We showed up late and left early, but we still made it!

However, I'm very happy that we have no big plans for this week. We're not going anywhere or doing anything. That will probably change by this afternoon, but for now it sounds very nice.

Ruff! It's a Tough Life

Ruff! Beckett here. Megan's been very busy again lately, so I told her I'd write a few blog entries, in exchange for people food. Mmmmm, lasagna ....

I still haven't decided how I feel about the baby human. She's not all bad, but she really does take up a lot of our owners' time and attention. Where are my walks?!? I used to get two a day. Now I'm lucky if I get two a week!

On the other hand, at least things have improved from the beginning where she was always waking me up in the middle of the night with her crying. Now she sleeps much longer, and sleeps in her own room, which is even better.

I think I'll let her stay. The cat really likes the crib and the rocking chair in the baby human's room, though. So if she has any say in the matter, she'd give the baby human away to the first interested party. Maybe I should check Craig's list just to make sure she hasn't put an ad in ....

Cousin Gavin Has Arrived!

Apparently, when we former Williams girls go into labor, we mean business!

My labor lasted less than 6 hours, from waking up with contractions at 3:30am to Eleanor's birth at 9:14am.

Likewise, my sister Erin went for her weekly Ob-Gyn check-up at 1:00pm on Monday afternoon, where she was told that she was already in labor! Gavin was born at 9:46pm on Monday evening. She spent several hours in-between the appointment and his birth trying to relax at home. After he was born, she was warned that next time she'd better get to the hospital pronto.

Eleanor was quite interested in her cousin. Once she realizes he will be competition for Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Amy's affections, she might not be so happy to have him around.

Congratulations, Erin and Josh!

Gavin Joseph
Birth day: Monday, September 29, 9:46pm
Weight: 7 pounds, 7 ounces
Length: 19.5 inches

The First Big Trip

I'm excited and nervous. Today we're driving down to Cincinnati for the first time with Eleanor. My in-laws are having a big Open House on Saturday for the whole clan and friends to come by and meet Eleanor.

It's strange to think that so many people haven't met her yet. She's already changed so much! Yet it also feels soon to be traveling with her. Can she handle the trip? Can I? How will she feel about the complete change of scenery? Will she remember her grandparents and aunts and uncles that she's already met? Will she cry constantly or be happy and stimulated by all the new experiences?

I think this is sort of a litmus test, where we will see another facet of her personality taking shape. Based on her behavior in the past few weeks, I'm going to guess that she will enjoy the trip, overall. I think that she's been handling new experiences pretty well, and shows a lot of interest in the world around her.

My only concern is that she tends to cry for other people who are not myself. Everyone is all excited to hold her, and she often responds to this love and affection by trying to make their eardrums bleed. Is this something one grows out of? It's rather inconvenient at times (like say, when I would like to brush my teeth or go for a run), but I'm sure I'll remember it fondly 14 years from now, when she won't have anything to do with me. I'll remember a time when I was the only person she wanted, and whenever I held her in my arms she was happy.

A Little Too Quiet

I'm actually getting some things done today, and it's kinda freaking me out.

Eleanor went to the doctor the other day for her 2-month check-up. Apparently she's in good health, falling in the 90th percentile in length, middle percentile for weight, and low side of average for head circumference. So she is very tall, on the skinny side, with a tiny head. I'm not really sure what that means, but I still think she's adorable. Tiny head and all!

She also got her first vaccinations at the appointment. She got stuck 3 times. The nurse was very efficient; Eleanor hadn't even managed to start wailing about the first one before the second one was in and nearly done. Much to my surprise, she wailed for a minute or so and then stopped.

Since the doctor's appointment, her sleep schedule is all crazy. She slept nearly the rest of that day, stayed up during the night, and seems to be sleeping today away as well. Last night Keith and I were both pretty miserable, when we couldn't get her to sleep. But today, today! Today is a glorious thing, filled with sunshine and quiet and endless possibilities.

I took a shower. I got dressed. (Beckett was excited!) I ate breakfast. I even had the audacity to make a to-do list ... and have completed several items! I can't even tell you the last time that has happened. Okay, I can. It was July 19.

All the same ... it feels a bit odd. I feel like I should go and poke her. Wake her up and make sure she's okay. Surely I shouldn't be allowed this much free time during the day? Why is there a part of me that feels like I will be punished later for enjoying some free time now?

The Daily "Routine"

What does it say about me and my daily routine since Eleanor was born that, when I get dressed, the dog gets all excited? Like, if I'm putting actual clothes on, instead of pajama pants and an oversized robe, it's a Big Day! Things might happen!

If I get shoes out of the closet, he goes into overdrive.

Mid-Day Outing

I spend a lot of time lately popping into stores for just one or two items. With feeding Eleanor every 2-3 hours, I don't have time for major excursions in-between. But it's still nice to get out of the house and remind myself that there is a wider world beyond my front door. If I can just gather everything for the diaper bag, keep the baby quiet and happy, and manage to buckle the car seat in correctly, then I can participate in the adult world for a short time.

Running errands is the perfect way to spend my hour or so of free time. All the stores are within 5 minutes' drive of our house, and shopping has no set time limit. If it's going well, I can browse longer. If it's not, we cut our losses and head home, and hopefully the car has lulled Eleanor back to sleep before I pull in the garage.

Last week, I was at Target, following the slammed door incident. The breast-feeding part that I had originally intended to buy was out of stock, so I was desperately searching for something else to put in my cart, so I didn't just buy peanut M&Ms and a bottle of wine.

As I glanced around the store, I noticed the seasonal section across the aisle had been transformed into a Halloween wonderland. And a grown man was standing in the costume aisle, seriously considering the mummy mask, then putting it back and fingering the Frankenstein hands.

And I think I've been living in the 9-5 world for a little bit too long. Because I was fascinated by the fact that a healthy adult male was shopping for a Halloween costume at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. It's been such a long time since I was out and about during the workday that I think everyone else should be chained to their desks.

I immediately started imagining a scenario where it was extremely important to him that he have the perfect Halloween costume. So important that he blew off an afternoon of work in mid-September to start looking. Ex-girlfriend's Halloween party? Big work shindig where everyone is expected to dress up to show that they're part of the team? Maybe not a Halloween party at all—maybe he was a bank robber and finding a disguise was work.

He probably wasn't skipping work at all. But he was still looking at Halloween costumes in mid-September (which seems ridiculously early to me). And no matter what his real story was, I appreciated having something to mull over as the "free time" timer dinged in my head, and I hurried back home to feed the baby.