It's a Date

Keith and I actually went out for Valentine's Day. It's pretty amazing, considering we didn't even really go on our first post-baby "date" until early December, when Eleanor was more than 5 months old. Then we went again at the end of January, when Keith's parents were visiting. And somehow we went out again 2 weeks later?!? If we're not careful, we might get used to hanging out, sans Eleanor, once a month or so.

When my older sister first offered to babysit for us in February, the possibilities seemed endless. Once we realized it would be on Valentine's Day, however, we immediately crossed dinner and a movie off our list. Or any other activity that could be construed as romantic in nature.

But in actuality, it took me a really long time to think of a few activities we might enjoy. It's so hard to think of regular, adult activities. I can't help myself from wondering, "How will I cart around a baby there? Will I have a place to change diapers? What about when it's naptime?"

Eventually, I settled on a winter sporting theme. The finalists were: a toboggan run, ice skating, or cross-country skiing. It all depended on the weather (lots of snow? cross-country skiing; pretty warm and sunny? tobogganing; frigid? indoor ice skating rink) and our mood that day.

It turned out to be a pretty nice day. Not too much snow, but a light dusting, some sun, and a temperature in the 30s. So we ended up ..... at the Western Reserve Historical Society Museum. Of course! Keith had run 18 miles that morning, and wasn't exactly feeling up to ice skating. Cross-country skiing was out due to the lack of snow (for the first time in over a month). And I had neglected to check out directions to the toboggan place—it was a 40-minute drive away. A little too far for our time frame.

So I learned that it's always good to have a back-up of your back-up of your back-up plan. After the museum, we stopped by a local coffee shop for hot drinks and enormous peanut butter cookies. It was a really nice afternoon filled with adult conversation and companionable silence. All the same .... there were diaper-changing stations, and Eleanor would have loved it. We might just have to take her along next time.

Setting Some Goals

Alright, I think I need to make a few of my goals public, to hold myself accountable. So here goes:

• I want to run a 10k in the beginning of May.
• I want to lose 20-30 pounds by July.

There! I've admitted it. Since I didn't write any New Year's Resolutions, this will have to do instead. We'll see how it goes .....

Ruff! Just Call Me Houdini

Ruff! Beckett here. It's been a few exciting weeks. The baby human is much more interactive these days. This is good because she shows excellent taste—she smiles and coos whenever I walk in the room. This is bad because she shows excellent taste—she's always trying to tug on my ears and fur.

To get some more attention, I've started a new Friday tradition of escaping. For the past three weeks, I've managed to get out of the backyard every Friday afternoon. Every time the parents think they've figured out how I got out, I find another way!

But just once a week wasn't enough anymore; I've gotten hungry for more freedom. The best was Wednesday morning. I escaped at 6:45 am, before it was even light out! It was pouring rain, everything was wet and muddy, and I squeezed through the closed gate in 2 minutes flat. Dad drove around the neighborhood (making him late for work), while Mom called from the back porch and walked a few houses down, but couldn't go too far because of the baby human.

I finally took pity on them and showed up at the back fence, barking and excited to be out on such a gorgeous day. I was covered in mud from head to tail and in the best mood. And yet, they weren't pleased. Mom made me take a shower and neither one of them would talk to me for the rest of the day. I don't think it helped my case that, while driving around looking for me, the car picked up a nail and when Dad went back out to the garage 15 minutes later, he could hear the air hissing out of the tire.

And yet, I can feel the itch to escape building. They think they have everything figured out, because they have me hooked up to a leash every time I go out. But it's only a matter of time before I escape that, too. Just this afternoon I snuck out through the gate but didn't get very far because I was still leashed to the porch. I'll figure it out, though. Tomorrow is Friday, after all ....

Class of '26

When uploading January pictures from our camera, Keith took one look at this one and said, "I didn't realize Eleanor had already posed for her senior pictures."

She plans on majoring in Adorable with a minor in Screech Monkey when she matriculates this Fall.

Not Fighting Fair

Eleanor is a hair-puller. And glasses stealer. And face pincher.

How am I supposed to discipline her for that? From what I've read, she doesn't even understand the word "no" and won't for a few months. Mostly it happens when she's nursing, so I'm a little busy. And it's not like we're playing, and I can just stop and do something else.

Am I fooling myself, thinking it will get easier once she understands what the word "no" means? Or will it just be that much more frustrating when I tell her to stop something, I see the comprehension in her eyes, and she does it anyway?

A Northeastern Ohio Blessing

I'm familiar with the Irish blessing:

May the road rise up to meet you,
May the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face
And the rain fall softly on your fields.

And until we meet again,
May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.

Right now, we're in the midst of another lovely Cleveland snowstorm. On the news this morning, they mentioned that the Cleveland record for snowfall in January is 43 inches. As of 9 o'clock this morning, we were at 39, and it's not done snowing yet.

While lifting the heavy shovel for about the 200th time, I came up with my own Cleveland blessing:

May the snow be light
May your shovel be wide
And may spring come tomorrow.

My Brain Is Old

I went to the optometrist the other week. I was pretty excited to go, because my contacts have been giving me headaches ever since Eleanor was born. And now, 6 months later, I'm finally getting around to doing something about it.

After the eye exam, the doctor asked me whether I had any interest in switching from my usual, day-wear contacts to contacts that you can leave in day and night. I said "no," and explained how I don't wear my contacts all the time, they're mostly for sporting activities, etc .....

As I'm listening to the words coming out of my mouth, I am silently acknowledging to myself that it's all a load of crap. I mean, technically it may be true. But the real reason I'm not even considering overnight contacts is that I think they're unnatural. Contacts that you can wear at night?!? That's crazy!

I am completely okay with the general concept of contacts, because they've been around for most of my formative years. But wearing them for extra long periods of time, especially at night, was definitely against the rules. So even though an optometrist is recommending them as a viable option, I can't wrap my head around the idea.

And this is one way that I know I'm getting older. Because scientific advances are starting to seem too far out there for me to really believe. I can almost feel my synapses slowing down, my gray matter hardening into the well-traveled paths of thinking.

Next thing I know, you'll probably be trying to tell me that information can be transmitted through the air, and that any qualified individual can become President of the United States. I may nod and smile, but I probably won't believe you, though.

One Hand in My Pocket

Why do baby clothes have pockets? Real, functional pockets?

And maternity clothes don't?!? Do clothing makers really think babies need pockets more than pregnant women do? What exactly are they going to put in there? Eleanor has jeans and hoodies with tiny, adorable little pockets. I ended up with three pairs of maternity pants with fake pockets. A line of stitching that suggests the presence of a useful pocket, which in actuality does not exist.

A pregnant woman may not be able to see her hips very well, but that doesn't mean she can't feel her way into a pocket for a tissue or some loose change for the vending machine.

But babies? Their hand coordination is terrible. They never remember where they put anything. And they're not even ALLOWED to touch anything that is small enough to fit into a baby pocket. What kind of crazy world are we living in?

Family Christmas

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope everyone enjoyed lovely holidays.

Our holidays were wonderful. We hosted Christmas Eve at our house for my family. Christmas morning was quiet and relaxed; probably one of our last Christmas mornings when we don't have to worry about assembling various toys, keeping Santa's gifts separate from our own, etc.

It felt like a real family Christmas. Eleanor wasn't that bothered about the whole thing, although she did enjoy getting new toys to play with (eat). Gomez is like the young child—she's up before anyone else, racing around the house. But again, that's her usual modus operandi.

Beckett is the teenager. He stayed under the covers as long as possible. After Eleanor's first feeding and once everyone else was up, we called for Beckett to join us downstairs. No response. I finally had to go into the bedroom and pull the covers off him before he would stretch and wander downstairs. I gave him a huge bone, said "Merry Christmas," and that was the last we saw of him all morning. The rest of the family gathered around the Christmas tree to open presents. Beckett disappeared to the other side of the living room to lay under the coffee table. We could hear sounds of gnawing and licking, but that was about it.

Christmas afternoon we went out to my parents' house. By this point we were learning what Eleanor's favorite part of present-opening was: the wrapping paper. She kept trying to eat it. Well, and every present we opened .... including a globe from my sister, which seemed fitting. What can I say? She knows what she wants and goes after it!

We had Christmas with Keith's family in Cincinnati over the following weekend, and New Year's Eve was a quiet night in, watching a movie and drinking a glass of wine.

The hardest part of the post-holiday letdown was Keith going back to work. He was off from the 24th through the week of New Year's, so Eleanor and I had gotten used to having him around all the time. I went through a mini-version of my first traumatic realization that I would be home alone with the baby all day long when she was about a month old and all of our wonderful helpers had to return to their usual lives.

But we made it through. And now the weather is frigid, inches of snow cover the ground, and there's a winter storm advisory for several more inches tonight/tomorrow. Ahhh, winter! I think I'll take a cue from Beckett and hide under the covers all weekend.

The Meaningfulness of Christmas Cards

This is why people despise Christmas cards.

We have lived at our current address for 2.5 years. Meaning, this will be our 3rd Christmas in our house. It's bad enough that we still get junk mail for residents who have lived here for the past 20 years or so ... but so far this month we have gotten three Christmas cards to the couple who lived here before us. These are actual cards, mailed by individuals ..... who apparently are so out of touch with the former occupants that they're not even aware these people have moved 4 hours away. Over 2 years ago.

I don't know if it's the fault of the sender, for not paying attention. Or maybe the recipients never bothered to let them know? But surely, if you care about someone enough to feel the need to send them holiday greetings, shouldn't you know where they live?

Babysitting Success

Our night out this past weekend went really well. The Dayton Flyers won (Go UD!) and we enjoyed our time away.

We couldn't help wondering, of course, how things were going back home. But we resisted the urge to call until we were on the road heading back home. According to what my parents told us, Eleanor was a little angel and everything went very smoothly. I suspect, though, that they would tell us that regardless of the truth, because they love us and want us to leave the house occasionally over the next decade or so.

Being a parent is a funny thing. A strange combination between wanting your child to become independent and wanting to take care of her forever. Why is it that I'm so conflicted? I wanted her to take a bottle .... but when she finally did I was a little sad. I wanted her to be happy when her grandparents hold her and play with her .... and when she is, I feel unneeded.

This parenting stuff is hard work. Even when we're taking the night off.

Christmas Procrastination Techniques

When it comes to Christmas again, I always fondly remember the ways I would procrastinate in studying for exams in college.

Elf bowling was probably my favorite. Silly and addictive, it saved me from hours wasted on actually revising my essay and learning topics of study. So if you need something to procrastinate from this holiday season, enjoy!

Pre-Game Jitters

I'm starting to get nervous, and tip-off is still days away.

For the first time, we are leaving Eleanor for an evening out on the town. Our Alma Mater, the University of Dayton, is playing the University of Akron in Akron, and we have tickets. This means we'll be gone around 5 hours, between driving and the game itself.

I never intended to be the kind of parent who won't leave her child with a babysitter. But, well, you can't plan on the child. And, for her first 4 months, Eleanor refused to take a bottle. So that made the decision for us.

We've snuck out of the house a few times before. When Keith's parents visit, they send us out for coffee or a quick meal. My Mom has watched Eleanor one afternoon while I went into the office for a meeting. And we even went to a friend's wedding in October—we just skipped the ceremony, showed up at the reception in time for the meal, and left before the dancing really got started.

But every time I've been gone, I've felt the clock ticking. And I knew if I didn't get back within 2-4 hours at the most, there would be a hungry baby meltdown. Which is much more ferocious and scary than it sounds. As time passed, I could feel myself winding tighter and tighter as I worried about what was going on at home. I couldn't truly relax and enjoy it.

A few weeks ago, that started to change. I don't know if the 20th bottle we tried was the charm, or if she had just decided a bottle wasn't all that repulsive. But she started to show a little interest in it. We've been working on it since then, and I'm completely confident that Eleanor is fully capable of taking a bottle.

Will she choose to take it? Well, that's a different question entirely. My parents have graciously offered to be the experimental babysitters, and suffer Eleanor's wrath if she chooses to refuse sustenance. They have seen and lived through her hungry frustration before, so I have every confidence that they can handle the situation. Between the rocking, bouncing, singing, shh-ing, and more, they could soothe their way out of World War III, if necessary.

So I'm really looking forward to this basketball game. I know that Eleanor will be lovingly cared for, and is completely capable of being fed and happy when we get home. I no longer worry that I'm abandoning her and scarring her because she's going hungry while I sip my latte. So we just might have to stop for a leisurely latte on the way home.

Lap of Luxury

My lap has been a busy place of late. Obviously, 90% of the time, Eleanor and I are hanging out. I'm soothing her, I'm bouncing her on my knee, she's standing on my legs. This is the majority of lap duty.

But the animals are also more interested in cuddling. I think they're jealous. I used to try my best to entice Gomez to sit in my lap and let me pet her, with very limited results. Once Keith even helped cover me in cat treats to try to get her attention. She never showed, but Beckett loved it.

Now Beckett has always liked cuddling together on the couch. He comes and curls up right next to you, maybe putting his head on your knee. He's not a big believer in personal space.

But both animals have upped their attentiveness. Whenever my lap is empty, they seize the opportunity. When I'm sitting at a computer, Gomez is usually curled up in my lap. (To be perfectly honest, she just left. But she had been sitting with me for about 15 minutes, I swear!) Beckett likes to join me when I'm baby-free on the couch or recliner. But it's not enough for him anymore to sit next to me. He now jumps into my lap, curls up, and rests his head on my arm.

I don't mind too much. It's nice to feel wanted. And it's nice to be holding someone who won't scream in my ear or tug on my hair.

Welcome, Father Winter!

The windows went in just in the nick of time, because winter has come early this year. One Friday, they were putting in a window in the sunshine and Eleanor and I went for a walk. The following Monday, snow was blowing in through the gaping hole in the siding as they framed out another window, and I turned off the heat so it wasn't running continuously.

I can't believe how quickly time has passed since Eleanor was born. She's already 4 months old! Suddenly it's December. Thanksgiving is past and Christmas is just around the corner. How did this happen?

I'm very excited for Eleanor's first Christmas. I'm not excited to bundle her up every time we go outside. I miss going for walks around the block, or even just around the backyard. I'm excited for her to experience snow. I feel guilty every time I pick her up and her tiny little fists have turned into blocks of ice.

Part of me is already looking forward to the Spring. Opening the windows again, sitting on the porch swing with Eleanor on a sunny day. But part of me also feels that the time is already going too fast. Eleanor has changed so much since was born, and will continue to change rapidly over the next few months.

I try to picture us in the Spring, but I have no idea what Eleanor will look like or be doing. Will she be crawling? Standing? Speaking in full sentences? (Probably not.)

So although the dark days of winter are depressing, I'll do my best not to wish away this time with my daughter and all of the experiences we have to look forward to.

I Can See Clearly Now

As I mentioned—very briefly and bitterly—a few months ago, we are getting all new windows for our house. Because our house is old and the windows are incredibly drafty—oh, and have lead paint.

But windows are quite expensive, so we ended up doing just over half of the house now, and will have to do the rest another time. The installation took FOREVER. Nearly 3 weeks, to be more precise. It's because we chose custom windows, built by a local shop, instead of mass-produced ones. And, apparently, our house is a one-of-a-kind crazy building where the frames don't match the window size and the walls vary in thickness from the top of a window to the bottom. That sort of thing.

I was going to blog about getting the windows put in as it happened, but it was just too depressing. They finished maybe one window a day, and then lost a day here because of weather, another day there because someone on the crew was sick .... yeah. It was a long process.

However, they are now in and they look fabulous. We can already tell a huge difference, particularly in the living room where the biggest windows are. I doubt we'll save as much in heating bills as we spent on the windows in one winter, but give it a decade or so and maybe we'll break even.

It's just so difficult to relax or feel at ease in your own home when you have contractors on the premises. Eleanor and I had to hide in the basement whenever I was feeding her, which felt like most of the day. Plus I dreaded hearing that there would be another delay, and all the uncertainty of never knowing when they'd be finished.

And yet, by the end I was a little sad to see the contractors go. The same two guys had put in all the windows. They'd told Eleanor how beautiful and smart she is, and exclaimed over what a wonderful dog Beckett is. They even threatened to take Gomez home with them, too, because she'd also befriended them. The house felt a little empty on the first day without them. But it felt a lot warmer, too.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving, to Americans and our friends across the globe!

I never have a shortage of things to be thankful for, but this really has been an amazing year. At the top of the list:
- family
- friends
- health
- relative prosperity
- warm socks

I am also very thankful that Keith is off for the rest of the week. We might actually get to spend a few hours together, not running around doing errands and constantly handing off the baby. Fingers crossed!

Is Santa Worth It?

So, like I said, I've done most of my Christmas shopping online. I only have a few particular items in mind that we will actually need to venture out in public to purchase.

This is the second or third year that I've shopped this way, and I'm a big fan. You can find things that your loved ones actually want, easily compare prices for the best deal, and fit "window shopping" into the small chunks of time that one carves out throughout the day, in-between other tasks. Most importantly, you can avoid stores at Christmastime.

I love the holiday season and Christmas cheer. But malls/stores involve people. And that's never good. Especially when they're waiting in line, or in need of something specific and in a rush ... I can feel my shoulders tense just thinking about it. So avoiding the holiday shopping crowds is one of the most important reasons to shop online.

However. This year, Keith pointed out that we probably want to take Eleanor to get her picture taken with Santa. I think it's a good point, and having that picture will be very meaningful for years to come.

But I'm not convinced that I'll be able to handle it. It's not just venturing out in public with a baby, aka ticking time bomb. And it's not even just zipping in and out of a store. It's standing in line. For Santa. At a mall.

If anyone has advice on how to make it through this experience, I'm open to suggestions!

I Heart Etsy

As has become my habit, I've done most of my Christmas shopping online this year. Primarily at one place: Etsy. I adore Etsy. I'd heard about it awhile back at Dooce, and always figured I'd like it, but this is the first time I've really been and shopped and I'm very impressed both with the usability of the site and with the wares for sale.

I particularly like the feature that I could choose to shop locally. So I went online to find things that were being made in my area that I would never have found otherwise. One seller is even located in the very city I live in!

It's amazing how the Internet can be used to access merchants both far and near. I can buy CDs in the UK and ship them directly to my friends there .... or I can find a jewelry maker who lives 10 minutes away from me. It's a beautiful thing.

Keepin' It Together

Do you know what I realized today? It's been a very long time since I've worn a belt. Really that was one of the first things to go, about this time last year, when I became pregnant. I could keep wearing my usual clothes for quite some time, but they didn't exactly need any help keeping them up.

Today I got "dressed up" for Eleanor's 4-month well doctor's visit. I wore the size jeans that I wore pre-baby, which was pretty exciting. And I even put on a belt!