How To: Get Rid of Drugs

I understand that the title of this post may be a bit more scintillating than the actual content, so I apologize if you feel misled. This post has nothing to do with illegal drugs or kicking any bad habits, etc. It's related to the fact that, throughout our house, we have numerous expired prescriptions, vitamins, and other somewhat-controlled substances that we can't figure out how to get rid of.

You're not supposed to flush them down the toilet and contaminate the water supply. Nor is it safe to throw them in the trash and risk someone else taking them or releasing them into the landfills. What other options are there?

Well, apparently the DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration) sponsors National Prescription Drug Take Back Days every six months. The next one is October 29. I clicked on the link to find a site near me, and saw that I can turn in prescription meds at the Cleveland Clinic Beachwood Family Health Center, which is my home away from home of late, since that's where my OB-Gyn's office is.

On the DEA's website, there's also a link to an FDA flyer about Disposing of Unused Prescription Medicines, which might be handy as well. So if I can't turn in non-prescription items like expired vitamins and supplements, hopefully at least I'll know what other options are safe.

I know I've talked to at least a few of my neighbors (and fellow parents) that were having problems with this same issue. So hopefully this information helps!

Lead Paint Perspective

This is my last lead-related post, I promise. Probably. But the past weeks of dealing with lead paint issues again has been interesting in terms of my response to the whole situation.

When Eleanor had an elevated lead level at her one-year check-up, I was so worried about her. I also spent a significant amount of time being neurotic about how it meant that I was a terrible mother who couldn't even keep her own child healthy. My therapist tells me I have a problem with "downplaying the positive" and I would say that's absolutely true when it comes to parenting. I take for granted anything I do well, as something surely all parents do, not even worth mentioning.

Instead, I focus on my shortcomings as a parent. I look at all of the times I get frustrated or tell her I can't play right now or give short answers like "Because I said so" instead of really addressing her questions about the world. It's so much easier for me to see what I'm doing wrong, instead of what I'm doing right. And the whole lead issue played right into that tendency of mine, and reinforced every negative comment I had ever told myself about my ability to be an effective, loving mother.

It took me a long time to get over that, and to not be so completely ashamed that my daughter had an elevated lead level, when almost no other parents we spend time with had an issue with it. The biggest problem with lead, in a neurotic sense, is that the effects are not always immediate. So I can spend years watching and waiting, attributing any of her possible shortcomings in school or bad teen-aged behavior to being a side effect of the lead poisoning that I didn't prevent. It's all my fault.

But I did get over it and come to terms with the situation. We've done everything we could to resolve the situation, and now I don't spend too much time wondering about the long-term effects, if any, because there's nothing else to be done.

And then, of course, that whole Pandora's leaden box was opened again with this house painting situation. But I've been shocked—absolutely shocked!—at how well I've handled it. So much less neuroses the second time around! To be fair, I'm sure a lot of that has to do with 1) it all started with our neighbor's house, not ours, and 2) at this point, we don't know that Eleanor's lead levels are elevated again. We are hoping that we've done enough to prevent that; Eleanor and I both have doctor's appointments next week. So if either of us get tested and the results are high ... well, at that point I probably might as well call this blog "Lead Ledger" or something like that.

Let's all keep our fingers crossed that it doesn't happen, though. The other big difference between last time and this time is knowledge. Last time, we had no idea what was going on, what we should do next, or even where to go to get this crucial information. We kept running into dead ends, contacting people who never got back to us or couldn't (or wouldn't?) give us the information we needed ... we spent a lot of time getting absolutely nowhere. Meanwhile, during all the fruitless phone calls and misinformation, that loop of "You're a terrible parent!" kept playing in the back of my mind, and every time I was put on hold I had another opportunity to sit and visualize all of the ways my lack of knowledge and inability to protect my child was ruining her life, now and in the future. (Yes, yes I was a lot of fun to be around.)

This, out of all the factors, is what has changed the most between last time and this time. We called the EPA to report the contractors on a Wednesday. Over the weekend, Keith and I cleaned the house inside and out. On Tuesday, lead abatement contractors cleaned the outside of the house and declared it lead free. (Or as lead free as any place in an aging, inner-ring Cleveland suburb can be.) I went from total panic to near resolution in under a week. The main reason for that difference is that, this time, we had the knowledge. We knew what steps to take next, and how to handle things.

This may sound strange, but I've actually found this second experience to help get some closure on the first time. I can apologize to my younger, freaked-out self. I know that you did the best you could. I know that it wasn't all your fault. You tried so hard to prevent the problem, and then fix the problem as soon as it arose. It is okay to blame other people sometimes, because all of that responsibility really shouldn't have been on your shoulders. And look! This time, we handled it so much better. Well done.

Let's just hope there's not a next time.

Lead Paint: What Next?

Sorry it's been a whole week. I'm sure you've been waiting with bated breath! It's been pretty hectic around here.

Even while writing last week's blog, wondering what to do, I was already springing into action. As soon as I realized 1) what the contractors was doing was indeed against the law, and 2) that our neighbor wouldn't be held liable—only the contractors—I called the EPA to report the violation of the RRP rule.

I was pleasantly surprised to get the name and contact info for a specific person. Even more surprising, when I called the number she actually picked up! She told me what she would need in terms of documentation; I promised to send pictures and dutifully did so that night. (The picture above is of our neighbor's house and flower bed, which is directly next to our driveway, partly visible at the bottom of the image.) We tried to talk to our neighbor a few times that night, but he was out. Luckily, I caught him on his way to work the next morning and explained the whole situation.

He called his contractors, told them what was going on, and told them to stay away until the situation was resolved. Instead of doing that, they came over and "cleaned up," which involved using a leaf blower (totally illegal and just a really bad idea) and getting paint chips even more scattered throughout the yard. At this point I was so twitchy from silently putting up with them for nearly two weeks, I was gearing up to go outside and tell them myself to stop and just leave the premises. Luckily, I guess they felt like they'd cleaned enough because they stopped of their own accord before I got out there, and then it was blissfully quiet, at least for a little bit.

I called the lead abatement contractor that had done our siding and replaced many of our windows, with whom we were very pleased. He said that he could have a crew out by the following Tuesday (two days ago), and that our yard could be completely cleaned up in time for Eleanor's birthday party (two days hence). Hearing that was a huge relief, because clearly we couldn't have nearly a dozen kids over to play with the paint chips, but I had no idea where else we were going to go on such short notice.

After getting that sorted out, Keith and I talked about what else we ourselves would need to do. We decided that we needed to wipe down the hard surfaces outside (porches, yard furniture, Eleanor's outdoor toys) and clean inside, top to bottom: vacuuming, mopping, and wiping down EVERYTHING—including every single one of Eleanor's toys—to get rid of any potential lead dust. We'd tried to keep the windows closed while the contractors were working, but we couldn't be completely certain that we'd kept 100% of the lead dust out.

My parents very kindly took Eleanor all day Saturday so Keith and I could clean. By Sunday night, I think we'd finished nearly everything. Today, I'm vacuuming and mopping one more time, in case we tracked in any more lead dust from the yard before it was cleaned on Tuesday. We also changed the furnace filter and the contractor vacuumed out the air conditioner.

Oh, did I mention that we're hosting a birthday party with 30+ people on Saturday? And clearing out the former study, painting and furnishing it to be Eleanor's new big girl room, all at the same time? It's been a long week.

That's probably more detail than you needed, but there it is. I felt the need to list and catalog every single step we've taken to minimize the damage, in the hopes that talking about it will make it more effective, I think. I'd like to believe that we've done all we can; I hope it's enough.

The final test, literally, will be when Eleanor and I both go to doctor's appointments next week and get our lead levels checked. Hopefully, all this madness ends there. The contractors first came on Saturday, July 2. It's been a long month, and I'm looking forward to a laid-back August.

I do have to say, without the blog, I'm not sure what would have happened. I only started researching the latest changes in the lead laws because I was writing a rant blog about how frustrated and helpless I felt. If it hadn't been for blogging about it, I'm not sure I would have investigated what options I did have. So thanks to you all for reading and giving me a reason to write!

Clean-Up Time

I think part of what's held me back from blogging over the past week or so is that I've been casting around for positive, light-hearted topics to write about. But really, I'm in a pissy mood so I've given up on going for light and breezy. Just to warn you.

First of all, I'm feeling stressed. Why? Well, primarily because I'm me. Hi! Have we met? If we have, then you already know that I have the type of personality that gravitates towards Stress and Panic and Insane To Do Lists. Or even if we haven't met in person, reading a few of my blog entries should clue you in pretty quickly.

However, I have been working on these tendencies (and will continue to until the day I die, I'm sure. It's on my to-do list!). And there are other circumstances for the increased stress level. Eleanor's third birthday party is a week and a half away. So we're trying to buy presents, organize party details, and clean the house. Except we haven't really done any of that, because we've been focused on getting her new room (the former study/guest bedroom) ready at the same time. It's a lot.

But that's not all! And this is the part that's really bothering me. Our next-door neighbor, whose tan house is visible next to our driveway in the picture above, is getting his house painted. The paint has been peeling for awhile and it's long overdue and it will be great when it's done.

The part that really bothers me is that it is, of course, lead paint. His house was built the same year as ours, and I have no doubt there's lead paint all over the exterior. But see, he hasn't tested for lead paint so he doesn't know 100% for certain that there's existing lead paint.
Plus, no children under 6 or pregnant women live in the house—I guess the fact that we're two feet away from the offending exterior paint is completely irrelevant—so he and his contractors aren't required to follow any lead-safe practices in paint removal.

They've been scraping, sanding, power-washing his house for over a week now. Since July 4th weekend, I've been watching as lead paint chips, large and small, and lead paint dust (which is even worse) coat our house, side porch, yard, etc. Watching from inside the house, running our air conditioner with the windows closed on beautiful summer days.

Our neighbor is not a bad guy. He is actually quite a nice person, and a very considerate neighbor. He even scheduled the workers to start on a long weekend when he knew we were planning to be out of town, because he knows about all of our lead issues. I don't really think, as an individual homeowner, he should have to choose on his own to follow lead-safe practices that will cost him significantly more to get the job done.

I do blame the government. I haven't quite decided yet which branch. But I don't believe that homeowners who live 2 feet from a 2-year-old's driveway/play area should have the choice to release lead paint and dust all throughout the environment. Something is very wrong here. You're telling all consumers that lead paint is very dangerous to a young child's brain development, and as parents we need to spend more than $20k to make our home safe .... but 2 feet away, the same rules don't apply?

For a week and a half now, I've been watching with despair as lead paint chips and dust covers our property that we've spent so much money to have cleaned up and remediated. It makes me feel helpless to ensure a healthy life for my children in even the most basic way. If I can't keep a known hazard out of our immediate environment, what can I do?

In 2008, the EPA issued a "rule requiring the use of lead-safe practices," and it was due to start being enforced in April 2010. (I say "due to start" because I know there was push-back from contractors' associations and it's not clear to me if it's actually being enforced or not.) This required contractors who were disturbing more than 20 feet of exterior paint to follow lead-safe practices in "pre-1978 housing and child-occupied facilities." According to this, the government has just recently decided that the house next door to children and pregnant women does need to be treated the same way, with the same precautions. I can guarantee you that more than 20 feet of paint has been disturbed.

So now what?

Vermont in Nature

One of the biggest surprises on the trip was how much Eleanor loves being in nature. Granted, she's always loved rocks. Playing with them, eating them, sitting in them, throwing them, putting them in her purse and carrying them around ... you get the idea.

But now I'm talking about down and dirty nature. The lake was just a short walk from our campsite. The first day we were there, Keith and Eleanor walked down to the lake and saw several boys catching salamanders and putting them in a pail. (Only to release them and do it all again.) They asked Eleanor if she wanted to hold one.

She said, "Yeah!," stuck her hand in the pail, and grabbed one by the tail. Keith stood there with his mouth open as the first salamander wriggled away and she stuck her hand back in the pail. Then yesterday, she picked up a worm. A worm! With no fear.

Not squeamish, this one! Nature's slime and gore doesn't scare her. I couldn't be more proud! I hate that I, like the rest of society, fall into stereotyping. Because Eleanor likes to wear dresses, play dress-up, carry a purse, and read, I guess I assumed she'd think slimy things were icky. I'm so glad that she's proved me wrong.

I hope that she is showing us all what individuality the next generation of women will be capable of. I know many mothers who try too hard to avoid "typical" girly things like dolls and pink and frills. But I think that it also has a place in a little girl's childhood, as long as it's not foisted upon her.

Eleanor can wear her pink dresses, have a tea party .... and then run outside to play with rocks, build a fort, and catch worms. Just like she should be able to wear a dress to work, choose her folders because they're pretty .... and be an incredibly competent, successful worker and leader.

Every morning, we went to the lake so that she could sing "Good morning, salamanders!" to wake them up. And every night, at bedtime, we went back down so that she could sing them to sleep and assure them she would be back the next morning. She is such an amazing, caring, observant little person. We had a wonderful time on vacation with her, getting to know her emerging personality. It means so much to me to have the opportunity to show her new places, and to help her realize that she has something to learn and to offer, wherever we might be.

Change of Scenery

I want to work outside. For work today, our whole department went for an all-day retreat/planning session at the university-owned farm, less than a 20-minute drive from my house.

Even driving out to the farm, I felt myself decompressing as the landscape became more green and pastoral. Instead of tensing up, heading into a stressful day of work, I felt my shoulders relaxing as I enjoyed the view and lack of traffic.

Parking at the farm and walking to the building, I listened to birds singing and wind blowing in the trees.I squinted against bright sunshine to watch squirrels and chipmunks running through the gardens. I smelled clean, fresh air. I felt the wind in my hair and grass and gravel under my feet. It was amazing.

All day long, I kept thinking: What would it be like to work out here all the time? Or at least, all of the part-time that I'm currently working. There's a cross-country path through the fields and the woods, and a shower in the bathroom. I could go for a run at lunch. While working, I could take my computer or notepad out and sit in the grass for a change of pace. When I needed a break, I could take a brisk walk and try to identify a few different birds by sight or sound.

I need to think about this some more. I'm tired of being stressed out at work all the time. I barely leave my desk and the tiny office lit by soul-sucking fluorescent lights. I have a tiny window that is more like one of those arrow slits in castles, just wide enough to stick out a bow and shoot. If I want to get outside right now, there's a picnic table on the concrete by the loading dock. It overlooks a busy street that is full of noise and traffic.

Work is such a tricky thing. The work itself is only one small part of it. The people you work with and the atmosphere is so important, too. I like my job, and I like the people, but ... wow. I would really like to see a bit more nature throughout the day.

Recycling Electronics

There's many, many items in our modern lives that don't belong in a landfill, but I don't know what to do with them. So it's either throw them out or hang onto them, and stockpile random, useless crap.

Or, I can try and find out alternative methods of disposal.

Previously, I had mentioned what to do with worn-out clothes. Just this week, I also happened across an article on Wired.com called "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle Your Old Gadgets." From computers to air conditioners to TVs and monitors, they give suggestions on how to get rid of everything. If you're married to a computer guy (and/or you are a techie yourself), this is very helpful advice!

Cloth Diapers

So far, so good!

We really like our cloth diapers. After many recommendations from friends, and good online reviews, we went with the Bum Genius 3.0 diapers, purchased at Cotton Babies.

For the first few weeks, we went with disposables just because we weren't yet willing to commit to the time and effort of washing and assembling the cloth diapers on a daily basis. And the disposable diapers were convenient .... but I hated having an overflowing trash can all the time. And we thought they smelled strange in a chemical sort of way—maybe from the super-absorbent filling materials? We were probably influenced by the fact that we were already planning on cloth diapering anyway, but overall I just wasn't a fan of the disposable diaper experience. It's expensive and wasteful ... and Eleanor started getting a diaper rash, which cleared right up when we made the switch.

On the other hand, we started with the cloth diapers about week 3 or so. We made sure to start when my Mom was visiting, so we still had plenty of help around the house:) The diapers come in a variety of colors, as shown, and are pretty attractive. They're very easy to put on—just as easy as disposables.

On the downside, the washing process does take a while, since you need to run the washer 3 times and then the dryer. So it requires some advance planning when you get low. Also, at this point in time, the diapers are significantly more bulky on Eleanor than the disposables. This is because we got the "one-size" diapers that adjust to fit your baby through potty training (35 pounds). So they may give Little E some "junk in the trunk" at the moment, but that effect will lessen as she gets bigger and we expand the diapers.

Overall, we really like the cloth diapers and are very happy about our decision to go with them. Since we've started using them about 2 months ago, we've been on the same jumbo pack of disposables for outings and the occasional lapse when the diapers are being washed. For us, disposable diapers are useful in certain situations, mostly when we're out and about, but cloth diapers are definitely our first choice.

Sh@tting on Cloth Diapers

Why does everyone insist of acting like I'm an idiot for saying I'm doing cloth diapers? It's really been ticking me off lately.

It's not really people I know and trust. Which, as I'm discovering, is true about most of the "advice" I'm getting. If it's given from a trusted friends or family members, I appreciate their thoughtful opinions, and I'm glad they've shared their wisdom with me. The problem is from the fringe elements—co-workers that I don't know that well, people I would label as "acquaintances" rather than friends.

These are the people who, maybe because they don't know me as well?, seem eager to criticize my choices. These are the people who don't hesitate to tell me that I'm gaining too much weight, or too little. Or that I shouldn't be drinking caffeine, or sleeping on my back, or whatever else they can think of.

These people also have a united opinion when it comes to cloth diapers, I'm discovering. I wouldn't really say they give "advice" about the subject, because that would imply perhaps some useful instructions. Instead, when they hear "cloth diapers," I just get attitude. A little laugh or an "Oh, really?" and a smirk that clearly indicates they think I have no idea what I'm doing, and I'll learn soon enough that cloth diapers are too messy/inconvenient/expensive/what have you to actually be feasible.

I'm not saying that I'm a complete expert on cloth diapers. But that's just it—I'm not an expert on ANYTHING baby!!! I can just study up, get opinions of people I trust and make the decision that is most in line with my beliefs and values. And to me, choosing the (slight? insurmountable? imagined?) inconvenience of cloth diapers over disposable is important enough to my beliefs about the environment and personal responsibility to still make that choice.

And even though none of YOU, my loyal readers, are the scoffing opinion-foisters, I'll still include a few links about cloth vs. disposable, for your reference:

The Simple Dollar cost-comparison of cloth vs. disposable

"Joy of Cloth Diapers" at Mothering Magazine

"Just the Basics" at Cotton Babies

Clothes Recycling

For years, I've wondered what to do about clothes you don't wear anymore, that are too worn out to give to charity. We already have two drawers full of rags from old shirts, bathrobes, etc. The kitten has a lovely pillow made from an old work shirt with the sleeves cut off (not that she lays on it, but I can't be held responsible for the way a cat thinks).

And once again, it's time to clean out our closets. Normally we don't buy a lot of clothes, but since I'm purchasing a whole new maternity wardrobe, space has gotten tight and hangers in high demand. So the other night I went online, looking for something different from "make shirts into rags or a dog bed."

At first, I struck out. Then, on the faircompanies* community boards, I found a surprising answer:

While the smaller thrift stores don't usually take worn-out clothing, larger charities like Goodwill and Salvation Army do.

I spoke with Mauricio Hernandez, the Sr VP of Retail Sales for Goodwill NYC and Northern NJ, and he informed me that they will take any used clothing, no matter how worn. Basically, whatever they can't sell in their stores they will sell to salvage dealers who recycle the fibers for rags or insulation material and the wool for rugmaking. What they can't recycle they sell overseas.

To find locations in your area go to the websites for Goodwill and Salvation Army. Both have store locators.

I found it interesting—and reassuring—that we can continue to do what we've already done, in giving clothes to Goodwill. But now I'll be aware that I don't have to weed out the clothes that are unsuitable for resale. Now the final hurdle is actually finding the time to sort through the closet and actually take the old clothes to the drop-off point. In other words, completion of this task could still be a few weeks away;)