Photo Challenge: Yellow

Some weeks, Keith has to work really hard to find a shot he likes for the Shutterboo Photo Challenge. And some weeks, it just falls into his lap! Or onto the street in front of him ...

The Avengers movie is currently being filmed in downtown Cleveland, very close to Keith's office. For the past couple weeks, he's enjoyed visiting the outdoor sets on his lunch breaks. He'll come home and tell me about how they put up a facade for Bed Bath & Beyond in the middle of the street. Or they turned a public square into an opera house and beer garden in Germany. The other day, he spent a fair part of the morning waiting around for them to drop a big steel frame onto an SUV and a taxi. But all he saw, many times, was extras running in fear from the, at that point, nonexistent frame. He finally gave up and went back to work, and saw with disappointment at lunch that they had gotten around to the real action shot and he'd missed it.

So, keeping all of this excitement in mind, when Keith learned that "yellow" was this week's photo prompt, he was very excited. They'd been setting up this accident shot all week, and he knew it would be an excellent shot. For the first time in quite a while, he had an image that he was very pleased with days before the deadline! I think there was a little cropping and color-boosting going on, to heighten the final YELLOW effect, but overall not much jiggering. When you have a shot like that, why mess with it?

Of course, the law of averages (or of human nature) decrees that he's going to have a terrible time with next week's prompt, and will be frantically taking pictures of household items at the 11th hour. But, at least sometimes, excellent shots fall like manna (or like fake pieces of building onto a carefully placed, fake NYC taxi) from the sky.

Our Own Race to the Oscars

As our Valentine's date, we dropped Eleanor off at my parents' house on Sunday afternoon and went to see True Grit. Before the movie, there was a trailer for Water for Elephants.



It started with a dapper old man, quite elderly but with a mischievous glint in his eye. Quickly it became clear that the story would be a flashback to seminal, life-changing event that happened in his youth. I leaned over to Keith and whispered, "Oh, so it's Titanic but with a circus instead of a boat!"

A few weeks ago, when Oscar nominations came out, Keith immediately sent me an email regarding all the Best Picture nominees, and the order in which we could see them. I ignored his email until we were home that night and he asked me about it. I shrugged. I do like movies ... but we tried to do this before and it hardly ever worked out. We couldn't fit in all the Best Picture nominees back in the days when we didn't need a babysitter AND there were only 5 nominees instead of 10.

But here we are, and we've made it a lot further than I thought! We've seen:
1) Toy Story 3
2) True Grit
3) The Social Network
4) Black Swan (I actually took a pass, because I'm a wuss with scary movies. So Keith saw it without me.)
5) The King's Speech
6) 127 Hours (Again, I have to admit I'm squeamish and didn't see this one. Poor Keith!)
7) Inception

Still pending are:
8) The Fighter
9) The Kids Are Alright
10) Winter's Bone

I usually judge my favorites by how much the movies make me think. I really enjoyed The King's Speech and True Grit was pretty good too, but they didn't make me think as much as Inception or The Social Network.

The Kids Are Alright is next up in our Netflix queue, and should arrive soon. That only leaves two (that I plan to see); of course, I have no idea if these are available, in theatres, or what. But we're getting close! We'll see what happens.

Happy Birthday Keith!

Finally! Yesterday was Keith's 30th birthday, so the long 3 months when I am older than he are now over for another year.

It was our usual, laid-back affair. We went with some couple friends (that is, friends who are a couple, not two un-related friends) to dinner at a Mexican restaurant and to see the new(ish?) Indiana Jones movie. Beckett must even have known it was a special occasion, because he behaved himself while we were gone. This is more impressive when you know that, while we were at work on Tuesday, he got into the trash and pantry—and ate my Oreos!—, pooped in the attic, and peed in the basement. All in a day's work.

So even the dog behaved himself and when we got home from the movie, we actually got to bed at a decent hour. That part was very important because tonight is going to be a long night. Keith's family is coming up this weekend to celebrate Keith being old, and also to see the Reds play the Indians at Progressive Field. As always, we had the best intentions of cleaning every night this week so it wouldn't be so bad tonight. And we tried, but never really got as far as we wanted. So tonight will be a cleaning extravaganza. I hope the old man's knees don't give out when he's scrubbing the floor at 1 am!;)

Happy Birthday to Me!

I hope you all are enjoying the 30th anniversary of the date of my birth. (Or I guess it would technically be the 29th anniversary celebration?!?) Here it is cold, but very sunny. So I'm happy for the sunshine!

I am at work today, since I have a hard time justifying taking a day off in the middle of the week. Especially after being home sick with a cold on Monday. But I can't say I'm getting much work done, or that I feel *too* guilty about my lack of productivity. I forget things, now that I'm older! And I'm slowing down, too.

Tonight I'm going to go home after work and do NOTHING. I'm going to try my hardest to resist the urge to wash dishes, or throw in a load of laundry. I'm going to lay on the couch with a good book in one hand and a champagne flute of sparkling fruit juice in the other. I will then cover myself in cat treats to make Gomez pay me some attention while Keith and Beckett are out for their walk.

Once Keith gets back, we're going out for dinner (Mexican) and a movie. I'm really looking forward to going on a date with him— we don't do it nearly often enough. I'm even a little giddy, trying to figure out what to wear!

After we get home from the movie, I will NOT check my email. I will still avoid the dirty dishes and piles of laundry. I will NOT do any work for our side business. I will relax, maybe knit a bit more of the baby blanket, and go to be a relaxed, refreshed 30-year-old.

Movie Extravaganza

I have a hard time believing it myself, but Keith and I actually went to 3 movies in 4 days between last Thursday and Sunday.

We usually refuse to leave the house. Because it's a nice house, and we have two wonderful pets and wireless Internet and Tivo and an HDTV. What's not to love? As long as I either 1) do the dishes, or 2) manage to ignore the mounting pile of dirty dishes in the sink, I'd usually rather be home than anywhere else.

But a strange confluence of events conspired to actually bring us out of our lair multiple times in a short stretch, purely for entertainment purposes. Such an event might not be seen again for many, many years. Possibly even decades.

Thursday night (a weeknight!) we went to see Spirit of the Marathon . We had heard about it from a few different sources, and knew that it was only playing one night across the country in select theatres. Surprisingly, it wasn't playing at the indie theatre just down the street from us, but it was at the multiplex less than a 10-minute drive away. I enjoyed the movie, and I also was surprised to enjoy the fact that it was an event. It wasn't really publicized much, and it was only playing one night, so if you were in the audience it meant you had a serious interest in the subject and you'd gone out of your way to be there. I noticed that everyone in the theatre laughed at many of the inside runners' jokes throughout the movie, and I enjoyed being a part of that group. It was also motivational since Keith is training for his first marathon in May. I don' t know if specialty documentaries with limited engagements might be a wave of the future, but I personally liked it and would be interested to attend more of these events.

The other influential factor in our run of theatre-going was that Oscar nominations just came out. And, not surprisingly, we hadn't seen any of the five nominated for Best Picture. When we first moved into our house, we thought it was fantastic that an indie movie theatre was a 10-minute walk away. Even better, Monday nights was $5 admission night. We started going to the movies regularly on Monday nights. Then life interfered ... we thought about reviving the tradition, but there weren't any movies we really wanted to see .... so in 2007, we went to very few movies at that theatre or any other. Hence, the lack of surprise at our dismal Oscar-nominee-watching record.

Saturday afternoon, we saw Juno. It was funny and cute, although it reminded me of a recent pet peeve. Why are there no movies about couples who intend to get pregnant? Even if you decide to have a baby, you still don't really know what you're in for. I think there's still a lot of potential for comedic gold! It doesn't just have to be when a high schooler is pregnant (as in Juno) or when a career-woman gets Knocked Up. But of course, that's my very biased opinion.

Sunday afternoon, we went back for Atonement. Ever since Bend It Like Beckham, I've had a bit of a girl-crush on Keira Knightley, and I'm a fan of WWII-era movies, so I was looking forward to this one. Keira looked lovely, of course, as did James McEvoy, but my immediate reaction was that I liked Juno better. This didn't stop me from wanting to hop the first plane to England after the movie was over, though.

Keith tried to keep the streak going, and suggested we see There Will Be Blood last night. But I had to put a stop to the madness. I was afraid the animals would forget who we were! And I was stressed out that going to the movies would stress me out, since I start my online tutoring this week so I'll have nine hours less free time than I previously had. I felt the need to preserve what unaccounted-for hours I had, and get in some quality time on the couch.

But hopefully we won't completely forget about the heady anticipation of actually leaving the house for purely entertainment purposes. We do still have three more Oscar nominees to see, and only a few weeks before the awards are announced. It just may happen!

Mistaken Movie Identity

As misanthropes, my husband and I will usually choose a quiet night in any day over "going out" and risking interaction with other people.

However, as a thrifty couple, we're always trying to find ways to entertain ourselves at home the cheapest way possible. Short of restricting ourselves to empty cardboard boxes and twine, we get a lot of books and movies out of the library. A bonus is when one of the big movie channels has a free preview weekend. Keith checks every once in a while and, if he finds a preview weekend, we record any and all titles that interest us.

Strangely enough, we've found one problem with this technique. Several times, it's resulted in a case of mistaken movie identity, where we see the movie title, record it, and then found out that it was NOT the movie we were picturing at all.

I first remember this happening in early 2005. We often try (with varying rates of success) to see all the Oscar-contenders for best movie before the awards are announced. For 2004, Crash was one of the movies we hadn't managed to see yet, but recorded it off a movie channel. Crash (2004) is about how everyone's lives/choices affect everyone else. The movie we accidentally watched, however, was Crash (1996), which focused on characters to whom car crashes and resulting injury is a sexual fetish. NOT the same movie. NOT AT ALL. Actually, it was quite alarming.

This past weekend, we accidentally watched The Zodiac (2005), not to be confused with Zodiac (2007) sans "The." This time, they were both about the same topic—the Zodiac Killer who killed several people in Northern California in the late 1960s, and has never been caught. Because it dealt with the same topic, we were probably halfway through the movie before we realized it wasn't the one we thought.

"Where's Jake Gyllenhaal?" I finally asked. I mean, not that it was the only reason I was watching the movie. But it was a bonus.

Once we realized he would not be putting in an appearance, I accepted it and enjoyed the rest of the movie. I'm pretty sure it had the same ending.

Yup, We're Highbrow

The other night, we had a choice. We'd rented Flags of Our Fathers from the library and it was due back shortly. On the other hand, we'd DVRd Legally Blonde off TV a few weeks ago. In one night, we'd only have time to watch one ....

I have to say, Legally Blonde is a fun movie. And Luke Wilson is adorable.

I'm sure we'll get to Flags of Our Fathers some other time, right?

The Slow Clap

It seems like the slow clap has been everywhere lately. In commercials for BW3 and even one for an insurance company.

In past years, the slow clap has lived only in Disney movies, afterschool specials, and in the heart of my brother-in-law, Nick. I don't think I'd be aware of the Slow Clap at all if it weren't for him.

Apparently, there's an art to it. There's a big group of people in a pivotal scene. The main protagonist makes the right choice/performs some amazing feat, and everyone is stunned. One lone soul stands up, looks around, and starts clapping appreciatively. But very, very slowly.

He looks around, encouraging others to join him. You hear one more pair of hands, and then two. They start out clapping discordantly, but as more of the crowd joins, the clapping swells into a rhythm and then overwhelming applause. The protagonist has triumphed, and all will be right with the world.

If you're watching basketball this weekend, the BW3s commercial when the waitress saves the wings is a perfect example.

If you feel the need to give my blog entry a slow clap while you're reading it at work, by all means, feel free to give it a try. First, stand up from your cube and look around. Then, clap once. Look around, and start clapping more, keeping a rhythm. You let me know how that goes.

Our Youtube Debut

Very exciting news: Keith just emailed me yesterday to tell me that we (and Carrie) had made our Youtube debut!

Below is a video of "Love Is Better than a Warm Trombone" from the Gomez concert at the House of Blues last Saturday. When the camera dips low, you can just make out Keith's red baseball cap and me bouncing enthusiastically next to him. Keith's hat is just in front of Ben (middle singer)'s legs. I'm to the left of him, and Carrie's to the right.

Of course, when Keith called it our debut, it made me wonder. What if it isn't my debut? What if there's some terrible footage from a 5th grade play somewhere out there? It just might be. But I'd much rather prefer to think that my first appearance on Youtube is front and center at a Gomez concert. Much cooler!

Sushi Rock

I finally got Keith to try sushi.

On Saturday night we were going to see The Good Shepherd, which was a big deal for us. Seeing a movie at a big movie theatre—that never happens! So we decided to make it a real date and get dinner first.

I had the inspired idea to get sushi. I love sushi. Keith had been saying for awhile that he'd be willing to try it under the right circumstances—in a restaurant that serves other food, so that he didn't have to commit to sushi as his entire source of sustenance. I'd asked around, and people said that Sushi Rock at La Place was the best place to go for sushi.

Of course, the fact that "sushi" was in the restaurant's title should have been a giveaway. But I'd been assured that they served very good "normal" food as well.

Maybe they do, but when we showed up there was an hour-long wait for a table. So we ended up sitting at the sushi bar. No menus, no implements other than chopsticks. This was hardcore.

In my opinion, the sushi was very good. But Keith wasn't a fan and I can't say that I blame him. It was supposed to be low key—no pressure. And that's not what it turned out to be at all.

He said that he's willing to give sushi another try. But this time, I think we'd get some to go, so we could try it in the privacy of our own home—with or without chopsticks. And with a back-up pizza, just in case he decides he still doesn't like it.

A Christmas House

There's been some buzz around here lately about the opening of a new museum. Apparently, a fan of the movie A Christmas Story has bought the house where the movie was filmed and is turning it into a museum.

My first reaction was somewhat skeptical. There's an added layer of ludicrosity (I think I just made that word up, by the way) to having a museum dedicated to a fake event. As I understand it, the original short story was actually set in rural Indiana. Because my facts were sketchy, I just read the wikipedia entry on A Christmas Story and discovered:

The house, on the west side of Cleveland Ohio, where the movie was filmed, was only used for exterior shots. The "fudge" flat tire was filmed down the street from the house. An entrepreneur later bought the house on eBay for $150,000.^[6] He spent another $240,000 to renovate the house and back yard to look like the movie, and opened it to the public in November 25, 2006 as a museum, with original cast members attending the grand opening. The restored house contains some of the props from the movie, including Randy's snow suit and the leg lamp.

Firstly: damn, those wikipedia people are fast!

Secondly, let's recap: the house and surrounding streets were used for some exterior shots. That's it. But this guy has had contractors come in and completely gut the house to rebuild the interior so it matches the movie.

I like museums. Quite a bit. Especially oddball tributes to strange facets of life like the Mutter Museum of Medical Oddities and Sir John Soane's Museum. At first, I tried to convince myself it would be neat because it would be like reliving the movie and it would be a look into 1930s-era culture.

But I think this may be too much for even me. A house is used for a few shots in a movie, which is based on a fictional short story. And now this prop has become a museum?!? The connection between the interior of this house and any actual events is just too tenuous for me to take it seriously as a museum

Of course, having said that, it doesn't mean I won't go. I love that movie!

Fall Activities

So once I'm properly attired in a chunky fall sweater, boots, and (of course!) a scarf, what are the best Fall activities?

Well, these actually need to be sorted into two categories: when it's raining, and when it's not. When it's not raining, it's things like going through a corn maze, hiking in the woods and admiring the leaves changing color, picking out a pumpkin and apple cider from a roadside market.

If it's rainy, however, that's perfect weather to sit inside and sip your apple cider while reading a scary book. Or watching Halloween movies. I love Halloween! This weekend I started a book about pirates—The Pirates! An Adventure with Scientists by Gideon Defoe. It's not particularly scary, but definitely hilarious. And they say "Garr!" a lot.

When I was a kid, I loved to rake leaves. But not in a helpful manner. I insisted that I be allowed to rake the front yard into a semblance of rooms and hallways, which I called Leafland. I maintained it religiously, cleaning up any stray leaves that fell into the " dining room" or the master bedroom. Don't you hate it when you have leaves on the table? Our yard is a lot smaller than my parents' ... I wonder if we even have a rake. Or whether Keith would be willing to indulge my whims.

Confetti

Well, yesterday was Keith's and my 2-year wedding anniversary. (I feel the need to make the distinction, since we've been dating for 9.5 years.) After work we went to dinner at Lopez, which was delicious. We'd been looking for an excuse to try it for a while--due to the fact that they take reservations and have valet parking at the weekends, it's obviously out of our normal price range.

After dinner, we saw the movie Confetti, which was hilarious. It was about wedding planning but with a twist: 3 couples had to come up with most unique wedding idea and compete to be on the front cover of Confetti wedding magazine. There were many reasons to like it, but high among them were:

1. It was British


2. Martin Freeman of the original The Office starred


3. The lovely, stereotypically gay wedding planners


4. The family drama

I'm not sure, but I think I leaned over to Keith at least 10 times and whispered, "I'm so glad we're done with all of that!"

Nothing like the torture of wedding planning to remind yourself that, despite all of the baggage that comes along with getting married, it was all worth it.

The Big Move

Ahhhh! It feels so good to be back amongst virtual friends!

Since the Big Move Friday morning, we've been without Internet access and it's been traumatic. I'm used to spending 8 hrs a day with my gmail account open and waiting for any important/entertaining missives to arrive. We watched Fever Pitch on Saturday night and it drove me crazy that we couldn't turn to IMDB to find out whether Nick Hornby's original version was about soccer (it was) and if the game footage was from actual games (also true). We couldn't look up directions or store hours or the real name of Dr. Seuss, just for kicks. It was torture!

But I suppose there were a few other things to occupy my mind. Like unpacking all of our belongings and figuring out where to put them. And the little details, like finding all of the outlets in every room and working out exactly how I need to jiggle the key in the back door to get it loose. (I still haven't gotten the hang of that one.)

We spent most of the weekend being amazed that this beautiful house could possibly be ours. I think that it'll be a long while before I can believe that we're not just renting it. Nearly two years after our wedding, I'm still coming to grips with the fact that I'm old enough to get married. And now we have a house? It doesn't seem possible!

Once we get a few more boxes unpacked and our Internet hooked up, I think it will feel more like home.

Jon Hosts the Oscars

I love Jon Stewart. We actually watched the Oscars last night and enjoyed Jon Stewart's hosting very much. I'm not sure that the academy was ready for it, though. A lot of the humor that would have killed on The Daily Show fell flat at the Kodiak Theatre. (Come on, that bit about the difficulty of making Russell Crowe look like he'd been in a fight was funny shit!)

Funniest foreign speech a la Roberto Benigni goes to: the guy from March of the Penguins who said that, with all of the tuxedos, it was like filming the movie again.

HATED: Charlize Theron's dress. When she was presenting an award, we were afraid the enormous shoulder growth was going to attack her.

LOVED: Reese's dress. She's always so classy. And Keira looked gorgeous, as always. I have such a girl crush!

I am immensely pleased that Crash won Best Picture. In any instance, I tend to root for the underdog, or at least against the shoo-in. Plus, in an earlier post, I mentioned that I personally did not find Brokeback Mountain to be worth all of the hype. I will admit that it gives the viewer a lot to think about, as I have thought about it quite a bit since seeing it. But that can't change my initial impression, which was actually less than spectacularly impressed.

Crash, on the other hand, immediately blew my mind. It was a great, disturbing movie that I am really glad I saw. Unfortunately, we didn't get to see Munich before the Oscars, so I can't say where that one ranks, but of the other I would say I liked Crash the best.

And the Wee Gold Statue Goes To...

I love the Oscars. I'm not really sure why; usually I haven't even seen most of the nominees. I think that, like most of America and certain species of birds, I am entranced by shiny, sparkly objects. People or statues, either way.

I don't remember the last time I actually sat down to watch the entire show, though. Too long, too much of the same "I want to thank everyone that made it possible ..." pause to stifle tears, hands waving rapidly in face (Is that supposed to dry the tears? Or distract you from crying?), "I am so honored..." until the band starts playing.

And they always go over. Why? Are you telling me some number-cruncher couldn't analyze the data to come up with a good estimate of how long the speeches will take? I think that there's a formula somewhere, if you take the length of Oscar speeches for the past 30 years, divided by the number of award winners, multiplied by how much more seriously we take our celebrities these days and how much more seriously they take themselves, and subtract from that the square root of the winner's degree of separation from Kevin Bacon and--bingo!--an awards show that finished on schedule.

Of course, this year Brokeback Mountain is the shoe-in for Best Picture. And I may not be a film critic, but I am perfectly happy to criticize films from my layperson's point of view.

I didn't really like Brokeback Mountain ....
*** SPOILERS COMING. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE.***

I wasn't really convinced that Ennis had changed by the end. I've had it beaten into me that, for a story to work, the main characters need to show that they have changed. They've had a moment of epiphany and life has changed irrevocably for them.

Jack Twist did die, right enough, and that's a pretty defining moment. But if you consider Ennis to be the main character (as the Academy must have, since they gave Heath Ledger the best actor nomination and Jake whatshisname a best supporting actor nomination), I don't know that he really changed. He'd always maintained that he and Jack couldn't be together, and they weren't.

I don't know yet who I want to win for Best Picture. I've seen 3 of the 5 nominees—I still need to see Crash and Munich. I guess I'm okay with either Capote or Good Night and Good Luck, although it's all a moot point because the gay cowboys will take home the little golden naked man.

And why do they call it "giving a nod" when the Academy nominates someone? That sounds very threatening and mobsterish, like it belongs with "cement shoes," coming out of the mouths of men with pin-striped suits and bristling with guns and/or brass knuckles. What's that about?

Wow. When I started this blog, I thought it would be all about how much I love the Oscars. Huh.

In Good Company

Keith and I just finished watching the movie In Good Company. Topher Grace played Topher Grace and Dennis Quaid appeared as himself, as well. To be fair I may not actually "know" these actors, so it would be more appropriate to say that Topher played the Topher guy and Dennis the usual Dennis Q. character.

And although that all probably sounds like I disliked the movie, it actually hit quite close to home for me. Just a few short months ago, I quit a job that made me miserable. It was a move that would probably not be considered a good career decision—more akin to falling off the corporate ladder and breaking a few bones on the way down.

I always thought I'd be okay without a job. I don't need a job to define me! I have a lot going on outside of work. It's not about the money or the prestige; I just want to be a balanced person who contributes to society.

But see, without the money and the full-time job, it's kind of hard to feel like I'm actually contributing to society. What am I doing, really? As much as I hold this blog near and dear to my heart, I would laugh in the face of anyone who tried to tell me that writing this blog is making a significant contribution to society.

But then again, was my full-time job really such a great contribution? But if you don't work, what do you have? Being house-spouse and doing the laundry, keeping things clean, organizing the photo albums ... these are all things that take time and effort. I am certainly not denying that. But if that's all I do, I feel selfish. These are things that only benefit me.

It's great to take time off work and "find" yourself and it would be a happy, happy world if everyone had actually chosen the job they are in, instead of falling into it by accident. If we all did what we wanted to be doing and worked 35 hours a week and had great benefits.

Now that I quit with no new job in sight, the magnitude of my next move is almost overwhelming. I have the opportunity to actually take time and choose where I'll be and what I'll be doing. Or I can at least try—I may find that no one is willing to hire me as a perfume namer, but I can at least try.

What do I want to be trying for? I'm torn, because on the one hand I don't feel like there's any one career path that I really am excited to take. But, on the other hand, I'm starting to worry about the future. I'd always assumed that some day (FAR FAR away, for any mothers that may be reading), when we had kids I would stay home and raise them. Not because I'm the woman or anything so demoralizing as that. But because I can write from home and Keith's honestly the big breadwinner.

But I don't know if I can take staying home. I may need to be in an office, reassuring myself that I'm doing something. Contributing something that people are actually willing to pay a decent salary and benefits for. I'm not sure if I can get that working from home, without peers and bosses and annual reviews and deadlines. Does this mean that I'm a slave to our capitalistic, corporate-driven culture? Or just that I'm egotistical and crave recognition? What are the chances that hanging my articles on the fridge door with scratch-n-sniff stickers would satisfy this urge?

A Quaint Old Town

Last night I saw Capote. It was an excellent movie, and I would definitely recommend it to anyone that's read In Cold Blood. But in the first 15 minutes, I found myself getting distracted by the period costume and, mostly, the cars. Where do all these 1960-era vehicles in mint condition come from?

I started picturing a small town somewhere out West, where all of the citizens have signed an agreement with Hollywood to keep buildings and cars in perfect historical condition. Maybe somewhere in Montana is 1960-ville. Where all of the cars people drive were made between 1960 and 1970. All of the residents wear 1960s-style clothes and have 1960s-style hair. They talk about McCarthyism and Martin Luther King's march on the capital.

In return for their endless preparation and constant readiness for Hollywood to descend on their town whenever a 1960s-era movie is filmed, the townspeople get certain perks. Because the town is subsidized by Hollywood, they pay no taxes. Any Beatles, Bob Dylan, or Woodstock artist albums are free. If you or your child grows up to look like a 1960s celebrity such as Truman Capote or Allan Ginsberg, you are given a bonus if you agree to maintain this likeness in case this person is required to make a brief appearance in an upcoming movie.

Modern-day reality does intrude at times. The youth are still required to be taught at current standards, and every family is allowed a room in their house for HD TVs, CD players, and a computer. When they go on vacation, they're amazed by the pace of modern life, and are happy to retreat back to the relative peace and quiet of 1960s-ville. If they're looking for something a little less traumatic, Hollywood has also extended them a 20% discount on travel to 1970s City, Ohio, or WWII, Idaho.

Christmas Cheese

I love cheesy, made-for-TV Christmas movies. And Christmas music. And decorations. I'm a sucker for all of it.

The other day I watched a fantastically cheesy Christmas movie on USA starring Leslie Neilsen. And then I DVRed one starring none other than The Boss, Tony Danza. I can't wait to watch it this weekend! I'm sure it will be moving and eloquent and deep.

I think what I enjoy most about the holidays is that you're allowed to be optimistic. To think the best of people and that good things are going to happen. You'll get all the presents you want and next year will really be the year that you "make it." (Whatever that means to you.) If you act like that during any other months, people would just shake their heads in disgust.

Normally, I am somewhat picky about my forms of entertainment. I try not to watch too many TV shows, carefully choosing the ones I do watch for plot and character development. My music tastes are also pretty specific; I scorn most pop Top-40 bands and generally refuse to listen to commercial radio stations.

But at Christmastime, the cheesier the better. It's only December 2, and Keith is ready to strangle me because I've listened to Bing Crosby's Christmas album 20 times. I'm trying to figure out how I can watch all of my favorite Christmas movies; which is nearly ever Christmas movie ever made. Or, actually, I prefer ones involving Santa. When adults realize that they don't know everything, and magic is rediscovered. Everyone gets to be a child again, filled with wonder and excitement.

If you'll excuse me, it's my lunch break. I think I'm going to go sit in my car and listen to Bing.