Currently Watching: thirtysomething

I vaguely remember when thirtysomething was on TV, at roughly the time I was in middle school. My main priorities were: bad hair days, passing notes with my friends, whom I might slow dance with at the upcoming school dance, and angsting about the rest of my life. I never watched this show.

But now, thanks to Netflix Instant Queue, I have rediscovered it. I keep trying to find shows I can watch during the day when Keith's not home. He likes what he's seen of this show, but I wouldn't say it's his new favorite, so I feel okay watching it without him.

The main couple have a baby and are struggling with how to take care of the baby, take care of themselves, take care of each other .... all of the same things that we're dealing with on a daily basis. I enjoy laughing at the 80s outfits (the one woman always wears sweatshirts tucked into high-waisted jeans! Tucked in!) but the essential content isn't terribly different from many issues facing today's parents.

I haven't decided yet how that makes me feel. Better, because other generations have made it through? Depressed, because things haven't really gotten any better? Maybe a little of both. But also grateful that modern technology gives me the opportunity to watch a show that I enjoy in my free time, rather than making do with soaps or trashy talk shows.

Talk Me a Tinkerbell!

Talk me a Tinkerbell!" Eleanor demands from her car seat.

I ignore her for 30 seconds, trying furiously to convey the entire contents of my day to Keith as succinctly as possible.

"Talk me a Tinkerbell!" she bellows. Any hint of begging is gone now, and there's steel in her gaze. She means business.

I sigh, giving up all attempts at normal adult conversation. I turn to her and sing-song, "One morning, Eleanor woke up. And pouf! Who showed up?"

"Tinkerbell!" she cries with a huge grin on her face. And so it begins.

All parents have their own personal parenting tasks that are a little more ... challenging. Some of us are fine with reading stories at bedtime, but can't stand playing tea party. Others are happy to run around outside all day, but get twitchy at the thought of craft projects.

In my opinion, one of the most difficult yet rewarding tasks is storytelling. We have made the parenting decision to limit her exposure to electronic media as much as possible (meaning as much as we can handle) for as long as possible. She didn't watch TV until she was 2 years old. Now, at 2 and a half, she watches some Dora and Sesame Street, and an occasional Mickey Mouse clip on YouTube. On a rough week, when time (or my patience) is particularly short, she watches close to 4 hours of TV. On a better week, like when I was on Spring Break, she watches next to nothing. She doesn't play video games or see movies, except for an occasional family movie night.

I know we'll only be able to keep her away from all of this for so long, and eventually it will intrude into our lives more. But for now, I want her to have an imagination. To make up her own games and characters and interactions. To learn how to focus on one activity, instead of trying to constantly multitask as we all (myself in particular) are so guilty of doing.

And this is how I end up talking Tinkerbells. I talk Tinkerbells in the car on the 10-minute trip to the grocery store (one or two stories, max), or on the 4-hour trip to Kentucky (too many Tinkerbells to count). I talk them in the living room, in the attic playroom, and in her bedroom. I never know when the demand, "Talk a Tinkerbell!" is coming. But I can be certain that there is always one looming on the horizon.

I wish I liked it more. Maybe I need to work on my storytelling style. But for now they're repetitive. She likes to do things in the stories that we already do all the time. We go to her friends' houses, to Grandma's, to the park. She bakes cookies and plays dress-up and goes down the slide. If she has a particular plot device that she decides she likes, whether it be a phrase or activity or character, it finds its way into every Tinkerbell from that point forward, until being replaced by another favorite. She always calls it a "Tinkerbell," but sometimes Tinkerbell is there and sometimes not. Sometimes she brings her fairy friends that Eleanor made up: Ningamell, Ninkamell, and Pinkapell. Sometimes the star is Belle or Grandma or a friend, and sometimes it's all about Eleanor! (But isn't everything though, really?)

I find it very difficult to come up with these stories. Under normal circumstances, I consider myself a creative person. I love to write! But to try and find new and exciting twists to the same story, already told countless times; it's a special challenge. At the end of a long day, when my brain just wants to shut off and watch the TV that I'm working so hard to keep her away from, talking a Tinkerbell is usually the last thing I want to do.

But it's important to me. I was pleasantly surprised on our most recent trip down to Kentucky. We did talk many, many, many Tinkerbells. But it didn't feel like as much work, because Eleanor did a lot more of the talking. She told me who was there and what they were doing and what people/fairies said. It gave me hope that talking so many Tinkerbells really is helping her build her imagination. I look forward to the day when I demand that she "Talk me a Tinkerbell!" and I can just kick back and listen.

What to Do? Evening Edition

It's definitely winter here in Cleveland. The days are short, and the nights are long and bitterly cold. There's been snow on the ground for weeks, and more predicted soon.

All of this frigid winter weather exacerbates a problem that all parents face: what do you do when you're home in the evenings? Not only can we not go somewhere while Eleanor's in bed; we don't even want to go within 1 foot of any winter, for fear of feeling the cold air seep in around the edges.

For us, of course, catching up on our favorite shows on Hulu is the default choice. It's easy and entertaining and we don't have to think about anything. But I'm perpetually trying to watch less TV (the jury's still out on whether I actually make any progress), so we've also been trying to come up with some other ways to stay entertained—G-rated ways, that is! (And that's all I'll say about that.)

Here's some of the options so far:

• Play Nancy Drew computer games. It's true! We like to pretend that we, as a team, are a sixteen-year-old super sleuth, traveling around the world, solving mysteries. It may be a game meant for tween girls, but we like it.
• Work out. It's probably been a year since we did this, but we were doing a plyometrics workout together once a week. There's not too much talking, so it's a good option for those days when nothing really happened and you don't have anything to say. And of course, neither one of us wanted to be the one to suggest sitting on the couch and watching [TV and eating] ice cream instead, so it was motivational. It only lasted for a little while though, because Keith got seriously into marathon training and I .... did not.
• Play board games. Or not really board games so much as word games. Bananagrams is our current favorite for a quick evening game, although there's some other options, too. What's nice about the board games, as opposed to the workout, is that we can talk while we're playing. So if it's been a day where a lot has happened (so rare!) we can keep the conversation going while I kick his butt. If he kicks my butt, I stop talking to him.
• Watch a movie on Netflix. You may consider this cheating on the "less TV" but I put movies in a different category from TV shows. There's more going on, and it feels like more of an "event." If we watch TV and it's suddenly 11 o'clock, I think, Where did the evening go? But if I watched a movie, it feels like I've actually done something with my time. Or at least it's clear that I meant to spend 2 hours in front of the TV.
• The worst option is that we both end up working. I always have teaching-related tasks that I could work on, and lately we've also had some side jobs to work on. Sometimes, we end up side-by-side on the couch, both intently typing away. It's like we're physically in the same space, but mentally miles away. Then we go to bed and talk for a half-hour because we realize we haven't said anything all night.
• Work on a jigsaw puzzle. I know! Is this 1850 or what? But I like them. I freely admit, I do get a sense of accomplishment when I find that one piece that has been eluding me for days. Oftentimes, we'll half work on a jigsaw puzzle and half be watching a TV show. Is this any better than just sitting down and watching TV? Or is it even worse to be trying to multitask?
  

So anyway, there's a few of the activities that we partake in, of an evening when we're staying in. What do you do to keep entertained at home?

Primetime Meta-critical

I recently watched an old episode of "Bones" where the lead character makes no secret of the fact that she despises TV. She makes a comment about how she has time for many other activities (including deep sea diving) because she doesn't waste time on watching TV. She doesn't have a TV in her house and is happy not knowing anything about popular TV shows, or about pop culture in general.

My first response, as usual, was to feel guilty. Why do I watch TV?!? My life would be so much more exciting if I didn't! But once I thought it through, I decided that—in most cases—it's not a fair comparison. If I didn't watch an episode of "Bones" every now and again or laugh with Keith through "Modern Family" or "The Office," would I be out deep sea diving or traveling the world?

No. TV doesn't prevent me from taking up fabulous, exciting hobbies. General lack of time and disposable income are the culprits there. Most of our time is spent around the house, unless we take advantage of the kindness of family or pay handsomely for a babysitter. Not to mention, I like spending time with Eleanor when she's awake, and she's not allowed to watch TV.

The part that does concern me a bit, though, is what could be accomplished at home in the 30 minutes to 1 hour of watching TV here and there. Could I be writing the next bestselling romantic comedy? Finishing a baby blanket for a friend, or getting to those dusty scrapbooks that haven't been touched for 2 years or more—unfinished scrapbooks of events that took place more than 5 years ago?

I'm still not convinced, though. When I want to watch TV, it's because I don't want to think or do. I just want to be still for a bit. As much as I might complain about the undue influence of TV, I will agree that there's a time and place for it.

I'm not really going to worry until I turn down a chance for a fabulous weekend ski trip or visit to Paris because a "House" marathon is on that weekend.

A Great TV Experiment of a Different Sort

When I was pregnant, I sat Keith down for a serious talk. I had been doing massive amounts of reading to prepare for Being a Parent (as all pregnant women due, even though it's mostly a futile effort), and I had concluded that our child should not be exposed to TV before age 2.

The American Association of Pediatrics had determined that there may be links between watching too much TV at too young of an age and attention deficit issues .... or that TV under the age of 2 could just generally stunt brain development. Although there weren't a ton of studies, just the suggestion was enough to make me decree that our baby would not watch TV until after age 2.

Alright "exposed" might be a bit too strong. That's not to say that she's never seen the TV. It just means that, generally, we turn off the TV when she's around, and we definitely don't spend any time with Baby Einstein videos or Elmo.

What I've been surprised about lately is that I don't feel like I've come across many other parents who share that point of view. I didn't think it was that far out of the norm. Now do I need to be concerned that, when she starts preschool, she will be socially behind because she won't get toddler pop culture references like Elmo and Guy Smile, etc.?

The Great TV Experiment Part 2

Since we got rid of DirecTV, Keith has been trying to get everything set up digitally. He's been moving computers and monitors hither and thither to experiment with Hulu, Boxee, and all manner of ways to watch TV without actually having any kind of TV service.

The other week, he stole the monitor from my desktop computer upstairs. I found it very disconcerting to walk into the study and see the empty desk. I couldn't help but think of my computer as being "headless." Although, technically speaking, I guess the brain is in the CPU anyway? But it did make it challenging to do anything on the computer at all. He was using the laptop to work on, plus the monitor from the upstairs computer to interface with a different computer running some other program ..... all I know is, I just want to write my blog and plan lessons!

I think that it's been more of a challenge to get everything set up than he had anticipated. The technology fervor has died down somewhat. We haven't watched many shows lately, and when we have, it's just been on the laptop. (We got the laptop as a second home computer, so it is rather large and unwieldy, with a 17-inch widescreen, so that's not as ridiculous as it sounds.)

Once last week, Eleanor went down for her nap and I needed something to distract me while folding diapers. So I opened up the laptop, went to Hulu, and watched an episode of "Bones." It was a little jumpy, but overall I enjoyed it. And I really just needed it for background, so it didn't bother me to miss a word here or there.

I think we gave up DirecTV at the end of August, so it's been almost a month sans a multitude of TV channels. So far, so good. I honestly feel like I don't notice it very much. I'm fine with watching every once in a while on the laptop. Maybe I'll feel differently once the fall TV season is in full swing, though....

The Great TV Experiment

We finally did it: we got rid of our DirecTV. When we moved to Cleveland, Keith had stipulated that we get DirecTV so that he could watch Bengals and Reds games. I thought it was a fair trade.

But it eats up a big chunk of our monthly budget. And lately, we really haven't been watching much TV at all. Since we don't allow Eleanor to watch TV yet, that means we don't watch TV. We could in the evenings, after Eleanor is in bed, but there never seems to be any time. We are too busy cleaning up the kitchen, getting ready for the day tomorrow, working out .... trying to fit in everything else that happens in our lives that does not rely on Eleanor's presence. So we have a huge backlog of shows on our DVR and it starts to feel more like work to keep up with them than entertainment.

I left the decision up to Keith, since he is more of the TV watcher than I am. I've maintained for many years that I could do without TV. So just a few weeks ago, he pulled the plug and cancelled the service. Now we have just the basic stations that we can pick up with the digital tuner. The living room TV is actually useless for anything except movies, because it doesn't have a digital tuner.

I'm a little nervous because now I need to put my money where my mouth is. Do I really watch as little TV as I think? How will I manage without Project Runway? We can still watch TV on the Internet with Hulu and in "real time" (whatever that is—I can't even remember!) ... but I will miss the DVR, I'm sure.

On the other hand, I'm pretty excited. We've put off getting rid of the DirecTV for a long time because we were scared. Could we do it? I couldn't even imagine?!? But now we'll find out.

It's So CSI

Keith and I watched CSI pretty regularly for quite a few years. We haven't been watching much since Grissom left; I don't know if that's why we stopped watching, or if it just coincided with the fact that we have a lot less free time these days.

Either way, I enjoyed the show as a work of fiction. I never really thought any of their science wizardry could be applied in real life, though. The way they manipulated photographs or pulled specific sounds from a recording and identified the year, make, and model of a car from that sound ... I figured the idea of CSI was valid, but a lot of the "investigative techniques" they used on the show were just hocus pocus.

But then. Last weekend, we went camping with Eleanor for the second time. The first time was okay, but the weather was rather uncooperative and put a damper on activities, figuratively and literally. But this past time, it was gorgeous! Eleanor did wonderful—even better than the first time. She loved exploring, slept great at night .... just did fantastic. On Saturday, Keith and I walked her over to the small playground near the campsite, with just a few slides and swings. Eleanor LOVED the slide. She also loved seeing the other children and picking up pine cones.

Keith took many pictures of her, including the close-up of her face that is above. When we were looking at the pictures on the computer, however, we realized that you could see something reflected in her eyes. Keith zoomed in ... and wow! It's freaky, totally CSI. You can see Keith, wearing a red shirt, crouching down with the camera. There's grass and blue sky and clouds, all reflected in her eye.












Maybe there's more to this CSI hocus pocus than I ever believed!

Bereft and Directionless without Satellite

I like to claim that I don't watch TV that much. I pretend like it's all Keith's fault that we have a big flat panel TV and fancy satellite dish. Although I will admit that even I cannot live without DVR anymore. You know, for when I want to record the Jane Austen series on Masterpiece Theatre.

But apparently, all of my posturing about not needing to watch TV is a pack of lies. Because our satellite is not currently hooked up, and I'm in a corner, twitching.

To take off the old roof and put on the new roof, the roofers had to remove and reinstall the satellite dish. Fair enough. But they don't actually reposition it properly—we have to call the satellite TV service to take care of that.

The satellite TV service wants to charge us a $50 service call to reposition the satellite. We're not big fans of that. So Keith wants to try repositioning it himself first. Being "fiscally responsible" (aka stingy), I approve of this plan.

Except. I'm home all the time now. And I don't have a whole lot of energy. All I really want to do is flip on the TV and watch other people do things while I knit a baby blanket for my sister or fall asleep on the couch. But Keith won't be able to try and reposition the satellite until probably the weekend, at the earliest.

I'm a little surprised how disconnected I feel without the TV. I know part of it is KNOWING that I can't turn the TV on, even if I wanted to. Well, I could watch a DVD, but I can't watch actual television programs.

I'm listening to NPR, which I often listen to all day at work, and it's surprisingly dissatisfying. I miss the moving pictures! Maybe I'm just going through the withdrawal, and by tomorrow the need for TV will be lessened. Maybe this will bring on labor, because I don't have anything else to amuse me.

Didn't See That Coming

"I should wear more black eyeliner and mascara."

--Aloud musing from my husband, as we watched part of a Greenday concert on TV.

Penny for My Thoughts?

In general, I wouldn't call this blog "incendiary." "Meek" or "mild-mannered" might be more appropriate terms. I don't talk politics or religion or morals; I just talk about the minutiae of daily life. And yet ... some issues must be discussed, even if my readers might find them upsetting.

I think you all should know that I'm for abolishing the penny. There! I've admitted it. Sometimes, a person just has to take a stand. And I say, the penny has long outlived its usefulness.

Does anyone remember that episode of The West Wing where they discussed this issue? Some people wanted to do away with the penny, but then everyone in Illinois was going to be upset because Lincoln was getting the shaft, so the idea always stalled out. They quoted all sorts of statistics of how much money is being wasted in America every year because the handling of pennies in retail transactions is more expensive than the financial gain of receiving one cent in payment, if that makes sense.

I just wanted to go on the record and say, with the current state of the economy and quickly-rising prices, I think the penny is silly.

Although ... what would that do to gas prices? Maybe I need to reconsider my stance after all. So much for me being a hardliner!;)

The Nesting Instinct

Like most pregnant women, I've heard all about the nesting instinct. Supposedly, at some point in your pregnancy you feel this overwhelming urge to prepare your home for the baby. You are driven to clean and organize obsessively. No matter if your house was already clean and organized—this is not a rational response.

I haven't been up late at nights scrubbing the bathroom tile or anything like that. And I'm still really bad about letting dishes pile up in the kitchen sink. But I have been obsessively watching reality shows where other people clean and organize their homes, Clean House and Clean Sweep in particular.

Does this still count as the nesting instinct? Nesting instinct for couch potatoes?

I Think This Counts as a Craving

People have asked me before whether I've had any cravings. Up to this point, I've just shrugged my shoulders. I mean, I've wanted to eat certain foods at certain times, but I don't know that it was ever a strong enough urge to consider it a Pregnancy Craving.

It's true that Keith and I went to the grocery store once and bought pickles and ice cream. But they were BOTH for him. I swear! I enjoy pickles and ice cream, but I haven't had a need for either one of them that is so fierce as to overcome my complete lack of interest in ever leaving our house.

My sister Erin suggested that a craving would be when you NEED the food even after a certain amount of time passes. Say, it's been 15 minutes and you still can taste that food in your mouth. She thinks that would be a craving.

The subject of cravings came up last night when we were on the phone, and there was a commercial for cream cheese. People were eating smoothly spread mounds of cream cheese on lightly toasted, plain bagels. Immediately upon seeing the commercial, I wanted one. I think my mouth might actually have started watering. I interrupted our conversation to tell my sister just how badly I wanted a bagel with cream cheese at that moment.

I think it's also important to note that we don't typically stock bagels or cream cheese at our house. I can't remember the last time I've had a bagel with cream cheese. It's been a while, and it's a treat that, while tasty, I don't typically feel bereft without.

But last night, it was all I could think about. For a few minutes, anyway. Then Keith served his delicious pulled pork barbecue that had been roasting all day long, and I forgot about the bagel and cream cheese.

Until this morning. When I read the word "bagel" on a blog and it all came flooding back to me. I could feel the crunch of the bagel, and taste the sweet, cool cream cheese. I now want the bagel and cream cheese more than ever. I'm finding it a bit hard to concentrate, especially as I expound on how delicious such a culinary treat would be.

So I think this counts as a craving. Even if I forgot about it temporarily, it was still waiting to pounce on me again this morning. This evening, I WILL have a bagel and cream cheese, and I hope it's as fantastic as I'm imagining it.

A Little Frivolity: Dancing with the Stars

Okay, enough about the running! I can talk about other things, I swear;)

I'm very excited that "Dancing with the Stars" is back! It's just such a fun show. I know they have a UK version, too. Is there one that airs in New Zealand, Bren? Otherwise, this post won't make a whole lot of sense to you. Sorry!

This season my favorite is Helio, the racecar driver (shown mid-jive with dance partner Julianne). I didn't know anything about him before the show, but he's a great dancer and he always looks like he's having such a fantastic time.

The show always makes me wish we had more time/money to take dance lessons and, well, just get out and dance! At first I hated to go out on weeknights because the dog was locked in his crate for hours at a time. It was hard to justify that to myself just so I could go dancing. But now that he is free to run around while we're gone, we'll have to try and get out a little more often.

Although we know some swing-dancing, I'd love to learn more complicated moves. I'd also like to learn more ballroom like the tango, the mambo, etc. Plus, it will be a great activity for the winter, when I'm not running so much looking for indoor entertainment.

The Office: New Season!

Since the new season of The Office (US version) has begun, I'm reviving my cheat posts, consisting entirely of quotes from the latest episode and lovely pictures of Jim Halpert. Sorry this took so long—but it's up just in time to review before the next episode. Enjoy!

Michael: Okay, well, I did not get the job in New York. But I go the real prize—domestic bliss. Jan made me breakfast this morning. (Eating a bowl of cereal.) Well, she bought the milk. It's soy!

Michael: Ladies and gentlemen, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car. It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best that they could, and she is going to be okay.

Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why did you have to phrase it like that?

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Dwight: Hey, why did you do it?
Michael: It was an accident.
Dwight: Was she talking back? Were you sick of that face? Did she owe you money? Uh oh, is this downsizing? Did she spurn your advances?

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Michael: So Ryan got promoted to corporate, where he is a little fish in a big pond. Whereas, back here in Scranton, I am still top dog in a fairly large pond. So who is the real boss? The dog or a fish?

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Michael: So I need a little treat for the gang—something to win their affections back.
Ryan: Back? Why is that, Michael?
Michael: (sigh) I ran down Meredith in my car.
Ryan: Did you do this on purpose?
Michael: No, I was being negligent.But she's in the hospital. She's fine. Recovering nicely. Tiny little crack in her pelvis. But she will be up and ...
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes. It was on company property with company property. So: double jeopardy. We are fine.
Ryan: I don't think you understand how "jeopardy" works.
Michael: Oh, right. I'm sorry. What is "we're fine"?

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Michael: I wouldn't say I'm "superstitious." Maybe just a little "sticious."

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

As happens in the summer, our backlog of TV shows to watch has just about dried up. So last Sunday night, we were relaxing after the cook-out and cruising the channels for something to watch.

I saw "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" on the guide, and asked Keith to stop. There was only about 15 minutes of the show left, but I wanted to check it out. I knew the basic premise--something about good people in bad situations and Ty shows up and suddenly they have a brand-new, fabulous house. But I'd never actually seen the show.

I thought I'd like it. I like home improvement shows, and through in the angle about helping these worthy people .... it's the sort of thing that would bring a tear to your eye, and get you hooked on both interior design tips and feel-good emotion.

Yeah, I hated it. They tore down this family's house, and actually BOUGHT the lot next door because the existing lot wasn't big enough for the ginormous palace they created in its place.

The whole thing was just so ridiculous. Hard wood everywhere. Recessed lighting. One daughter's room had a "boutique" theme, and all of her clothes were hung on a revolving rack. The other daughter's room included a life-sized dollhouse built into the room, complete with three floors and furniture. The son's room included a lot of camouflage and a slide. (The picture here is from the show's photo gallery--there's many, many more pictures if you're interested.)

I understand that the wife/mother is a cancer-survivor, and she has dedicated her life to eradicating cancer. That is, indeed, very touching. But I couldn't be happy for the family about their new house. I just kept thinking that the show seemed to say that rampant consumerism is the answer to all the world's problems, and I'm just not convinced.

So now they have a house that's roughly 3 times bigger than their old home. I'm sure I'm not supposed to mention this, but ... they still have to pay the utility bills. Which are going to be substantial. And what happens when dollhouse daughter gets older? That "life-sized dollhouse" is built into the room. Not very easy to remove. Nor is the moving closet, when it breaks.

What is this family's children learning? That if you're a good person, you'll be rewarded in this life? That's not necessarily the case, and often the opposite is true. Or have they learned that spending lots of money always makes you feel better? That may be true, but it's usually not sustainable.

In a way, I was glad to realize that my tolerance for reality TV can be exceeded, and that's one show that's off the list.

Guilty Pleasure: Workout

I've been doing pretty well working out this year. My New Year's resolution was to do strength training at least 6 times every month and, as of the end of May, I've managed to stick to that. Yay, me!

What has really helped is finding my guilty workout pleasure show on Bravo. It's called, quite simply, Workout, and is a reality TV show about a gym in Los Angeles. There's not a whole lot going on here. Some relationship angst, co-worker fights, etc. But mostly it's beautiful trainers, helping beautiful people stay in shape. But, for good measure, they do throw in a few out-of-shape (aka normal) people that they're rehabilitating.

And even when it drives me crazy, I still love to watch it while I work out. It's not quite the same as having my own personal trainer, but until I have that best-selling novel, this is probably the closest I'll come.

The Office: 4/12 Recap

Michael: Pam, depression is as scary as a baler, right?
Pam: I don't understand the question.
Michael: Working in an office can lead to depression, which can lead to suicide. I mean, this is really serious stuff.... Nobody commits suicide because they work with a baler [....]
Pam: It's really hard to demonstrate depression. Their safety training had visuals.

Dwight: I'm temporarily lifting the shun.
Andy: Thank you.
Dwight: It means nothing. I need you to do something for me.
Andy: Anything.
Dwight: Okay, calm down! I need you to acquire an inflatable house, and/or castle.
Andy: You mean a moonbounce.
Dwight: Whatever you think. You have an hour.
Andy: I'm going to need petty cash.
Dwight: Shunning resumed. (raising right hand to indicate raising a screen.)
Andy: Do you want a drawbridge?
Dwight: (lowering right hand) Unshun.... Yeah, that sounds good. (raising right hand) Re-shun.

Daryl: Mike, you're a very brave man. I mean, it takes courage just to be you. To get out of bed every ... single ... day, knowing full well that you gotta be you.
Michael: Do you really mean that?
Daryl: I couldn't do it! I ain't that strong, and I ain't that brave.

The Slow Clap

It seems like the slow clap has been everywhere lately. In commercials for BW3 and even one for an insurance company.

In past years, the slow clap has lived only in Disney movies, afterschool specials, and in the heart of my brother-in-law, Nick. I don't think I'd be aware of the Slow Clap at all if it weren't for him.

Apparently, there's an art to it. There's a big group of people in a pivotal scene. The main protagonist makes the right choice/performs some amazing feat, and everyone is stunned. One lone soul stands up, looks around, and starts clapping appreciatively. But very, very slowly.

He looks around, encouraging others to join him. You hear one more pair of hands, and then two. They start out clapping discordantly, but as more of the crowd joins, the clapping swells into a rhythm and then overwhelming applause. The protagonist has triumphed, and all will be right with the world.

If you're watching basketball this weekend, the BW3s commercial when the waitress saves the wings is a perfect example.

If you feel the need to give my blog entry a slow clap while you're reading it at work, by all means, feel free to give it a try. First, stand up from your cube and look around. Then, clap once. Look around, and start clapping more, keeping a rhythm. You let me know how that goes.

Because Attitude Should be Rewarded

There's always at least one commercial out that drives me crazy. It changes often, because there's so many annoying commercials to choose from. Usually, it revolves around the portrayal of sexes in the media (women doing the grocery shopping and cooking, men buying diamonds for the greedy women in their lives, etc.).

This time, it's a cell phone commercial and it irks me to no end because of how it portrays the parent/child relationship. I think it starts with the dad asking his daughter if she's meeting Jenny later. She says, "Let me check!" and then stares pointedly at him while pretending to dial on her hand, and holding her hand up to her face for an imaginary conversation.

Flash to another scene of daughter sitting on the couch next to dad, having another pretend conversation with her hand/phone. Dad looks at the camera in perplexity—what's a guy to do? Then the voice over moves in, and starts talking about how cheap these family plans are for a certain cell service provider.

Yup, that's right. If your teen-aged daughter is being a whiny brat, what should you do? Give her what she wants! That'll teach her to be polite and discuss things in a rational, mature manner.

I'm picturing all of the commercials that could star this character as she makes her way through life. I see her throwing papers in the air to convince a teacher to give her a higher grade. Giving her boyfriend the silent treatment when he doesn't give her enough jewelry for Valentine's Day. And the commercial always ends with the hapless men in her life buying something to appease her. Because why spend the time and effort forming a mutually beneficial relationship when you can buy your way to happiness?

I'm ready to go shopping!