It's a Pity Compliment, But I'll Take It!

I've finally started running again, for the first time since last May when I was about 4 months pregnant.

It's always hard to get started again, after taking time off. It can be disheartening to think about the fact that I've run 2 half-marathons and countless 5ks and 10ks, but now I can barely get through 2 slow miles without walking. And of course, I have a significant amount of pregnancy and post-natal stress eating weight to lose; that doesn't help.

But the challenge is what I love and hate about running. Whether I'm trying to get faster or go further or get back into the routine, it's difficult. Sometimes I get frustrated, and wish it wasn't so hard. But most of the time, I like knowing that running won't let me down. I can always count on running to kick my butt.

This time around, I've been doing a lot of my running with Eleanor in the running stroller. Before the first time I took her out, we had a big talk about how Mommy isn't as fast as Daddy and sometimes Mommy needs to walk. So Eleanor needed to understand that I wasn't in very good shape, and not give me a hard time about it.

So far, she's been wonderful! She even cheers me on at the end. "Come on, Mommy! You can do it!" She's actually pretty good company, even though it's hard for me to carry on a conversation sometimes.

A week or so ago, Eleanor and I went for a 2-mile run after Keith got home from work. It was pretty hot and humid, especially for early March. By the end of the run, my hair was a frizzy mess, I was soaked in sweat, and my running clothes were emitting a powerful stench. My belly, which still looks about 4-months pregnant (only with Coke and peanut butter M&Ms this time), gently stretched the front of my hot pink running shirt. We went to the end of a driveway to cross to our side of the street. We waited for a man on a bike to go past us.

As we waited, I made eye contact and smiled in a friendly, neighborly way. He smiled back and nodded. Once he was nearly past us, he called out, "Hi, Gorgeous!"

I was so surprised, it took me a moment to even process what he said. Normally I'd assume that he was complimenting my wonderful child, but this time he was clearly looking at me. Me?!? Seriously? I wouldn't call it false modesty. When in shape, freshly showered and made up, I'm reasonably attractive. But at this moment, I was none of those things.

By the time we got home, I had figured out what was going on. This guy saw me, a pudgy and worn out mom, and immediately realized I needed a boost of self-confidence. So he saw fit to provide one. His smile didn't feel lascivious, but kindly. It was a pity compliment, but I'll take it!

10k Playlist 2011 version

Some people don't need music to motivate themselves to run—particularly 2-year-olds. It's not always music, but I typically want some kind of motivation or distraction along with me, so I'm not constantly thinking about how far I've run, how out of shape I feel, how hard it is to breathe ..... Sometimes it's music, or podcasts, or audiobooks, or the dog. Just something to take my mind off the momentary pain, so I have a better chance of arriving at home feeling somewhat refreshed and glad I ran, instead of just tired.

Here's the music playlist I used while occasionally training for the 5k. I know I call it a 10k playlist; that's just because it's long enough that it could probably get you through a 10k. Some are old songs that have appeared on many of my old playlists, but some are new favorites. All of the links are to the albums at Amazon.

1. "How You Like Me Now" by The Heavy
2. "Percussion Gun" by White Rabbits
3. "Little Lion Man" Mumford & Sons
4. "The Charm" by Maps & Atlases
5. "Kick Drum Heart" by The Avett Brothers
6. "River, Sea, Ocean" by Badly Drawn Boy (This song is on pretty much every running list I have. This whole album, the About a Boy soundtrack, is fantastic for running, I think.)
7. "Tighten Up" by The Black Keys
8. "Winter 'o5" by Ra Ra Riot (This song is actually a little slow and melancholy for running, but I wanted a Ra Ra Riot song.)
9. "Pressure Point" by The Zutons
10. "Get Over It" by OK Go
11. "Flathead" by The Fratellis
12. "Ready to Start" by Arcade Fire
13. "Eight Days a Week" by the Beatles
14. "Hands Open" by Snow Patrol
15. "Need You Around" by The Smoking Popes
16. "The High Road" by Broken Bells
17. "Glamorous Glowing" by Cast Spells
18. "The Rockafeller Skank" by Fatboy Slim
19. "Bicycle vs. Car" by Bob Schneider
20. "Anna Sun" by Walk the Moon
21. "Writing to Reach You" by Travis
22. "Rolling in the Deep" Adele
    

Cleveland Marathon Events

As I mentioned the other day, we spent the weekend racing. Running and driving around to catch everyone in their various races.

It started Saturday morning, with my 5k race. Actually, back up a minute; it started on Friday afternoon when we went to the Cleveland Marathon Expo to pick up our race bibs and goodie bags. Until this year, the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon is the only big marathon weekend event that we've participated in. Keith has run the half and the full marathon there several times, and I've done the 10k and marathon relay leg. We've always enjoyed the Pig and heard many good things about it; in contrast, we've heard some bad things about the Cleveland Marathon—that the organization isn't the best, and that there's not as many spectators, so the "event" feel isn't really there.

From the Expo, we were less than impressed. You had to know your bib number to pick up your stuff, instead of just going by last name. Who knows their bib number?!? I walked up to the desk and said, "I have no idea what my bib number is." They snootily sent me to a bank of computer around the corner, where there was a line to get to the 10 computers because NO ONE KNOWS THEIR BIB NUMBER. That's just dumb. It seems very convenient for the organizers, but incredibly inconvenient for the racers.

Right, so, back to Saturday morning. My race was at 8 o'clock. We were meeting my parents at the Browns stadium (start and end of the 5k) about 7:30. The night before, Keith and I had joked about what would happen if the storm knocked out our power overnight and our alarms didn't go off.

Fast forward to 6:45—15 minutes after my alarm was supposed to go off. That's right! We actually predicted the future and our power went out. The benefit of that is that we were so busy trying to get to the start line that I didn't have time to be nervous. I really didn't run enough leading up to the race—not enough runs, and not long enough runs. But I finally decided it didn't really matter. It didn't matter how fast (or slowly) I ran, or if I walked. I'm 4.5 months pregnant! All I would have to do is finish the race and it's a win.

So I signed up for the race, and nearly missed it. I didn't have time to be nervous, but I did have time for a weird high school moment. We were hurrying to the race, walking a few blocks behind this group of 2 guys and 1 woman. I ended up chatting with the woman when we ran to the bathroom before the start and found out that the two guys were from my high school, and they graduated a year before I did. I'm sure I hadn't seen them in 15 years, but as soon as she said the names, I recognized them. So weird!

As you'll notice, most of my race recap doesn't actually have anything to do with the race. Because that really wasn't the highlight. I felt good while I ran it, and I ran the whole time except for the water break midway. I sprinted at the end because I still had energy to spare .... and then saw my time. It was terrible. I kept telling myself that it didn't matter, but it was more than 11 minutes per mile. I found it pretty depressing.

So we're skipping ahead to the end of the race. The picture above is because, once my race was done and I found Keith and Eleanor and my parents, Eleanor was very excited about her race. She kept wanting to practice, so we ran back and forth across the field many, many times. I guess it was my cool-down.

Of course, when it was actually Eleanor's race time, she wasn't nearly as excited. She wanted a nap, was scared by all the kids and the clowns, and told me she wasn't going to run. But she was allowed to run while holding my hand so she did complete her 50-yard dash and get a medal, which she was very excited about.

Finally, Keith ran the half-marathon on Sunday morning. He wasn't happy with his time of 1:36, with the just awful pace of 7:23/mile. He was depressed for about a day, and then emailed me with his next half-marathon race.

I'm done racing until after the baby's born. So now I'm looking forward to not paying any attention to how slowly I run anymore. I won't time myself at all. I'll walk when I feel like it. And if I ever have any concerns about the fact that I may have been gone about about 40 minutes for a 2-mile run, I'll just attribute it to Beckett's 50 pee stops.

Happy running!

10k Playlist

For the race the other weekend, I waited until the last minute to put together my running playlist. Even so, I tried to avoid using too many songs that I'd used before. With so little foresight, I was surprised how well it worked out. The Heartless Bastards song came on just as I ran past the Southgate House, where we saw the Heartless Bastards perform last December. And Spoon's "The Underdog" gave me a push up and over the final bridge. (Damn those bridges!)
"Ping One Down" by Gomez (okay, I had to keep some tried-and-true favorites!)
"I Always Knew" by Jem
"Witch" by Maps & Atlases
"Be So Happy" by Heartless Bastards
"Quiet Dog" by Mos Def
"Folding Chair" by Regina Spektor
"Dying Is Fine" by Ra Ra Riot
"Bombananza" by Bob Schneider
"Something, Somewhere, Sometime" by Dear Companion
"Ghetto Rock" by Mos Def
"The Underdog" by Spoon
"I Got Mine" by The Black Keys
"Boli Panieh" by DJ Rekha
"Morris Brown" by OutKast
"Hamoa Beach" by Gomez
"Bicycle vs. Car" by Bob Schneider
"Broken Hearted Hoover Fixer Sucker Guy" by Glen Hansard
"Jesus Walks" by Kanye West
"The Calculation" by Regina Spektor
"Crazy" by Jem

Race Day Success!

It was a good, wet weekend. I finished the 10k in 1:06:10, which is a 10:41 pace. Especially considering that it rained the entire race, I'm very happy with those results. Happy to have made progress, and also encouraged to shoot for getting a new 10k PR by the end of the summer. Madness, you say? It just might be. But I'll give it my best shot!

The clouds hovered but didn't open up for Eleanor's race on Saturday afternoon. After running around the house all morning, she fell asleep in the car on the way to the race and was completely out of it. I thought I was going to have to carry her, just to get her stinkin' medal! But she did consent, at the last minute, to standing on her own and ambling the 25 yards. To her, the best part was the balloons at the finish. Balloons!

Keith and Karen also had a great, soggy race on Sunday morning. Keith wanted to finish somewhere between 3:30 and 4:00 (obviously, the closer to 3:30 the better), and finished in 3:42:51, which is an 8:30 pace. Karen just barely missed her under 5 hour goal, finishing in 5:06:42 (11:43 pace).

Congrats to all of us, and everyone that participated!

Flying Pig 10k

Training is over and race day is on the horizon!

We're leaving this afternoon for Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky. I'll run the 10k on Saturday morning, Eleanor will run the Kids' Fun Run (25 yards) on Saturday afternoon, and Keith and my mother-in-law Karen will run the entire Flying Pig Marathon on Sunday morning.

Last year, the Flying Pig 10k was my first race since having Eleanor. I was woefully out of shape. I finished in just over 70 minutes, which is a pace of 11:20 minutes/mile. That's slow, even for me. The good news is that I ran the half-marathon the following fall in just over 11 minutes/mile. Still not fast, but faster, and over double the distance.

I was disappointed with how crappy and slow I felt during the half-marathon. Plus, I ran the half-marathon on Sunday and we left for Costa Rica on Wednesday. Then Winter happened. So, without realizing it, I just stopped running.

On the plus side, however, since mid-January I've been working out 5 times a week. I've had a few off weeks, but only a few. My eating has been good and bad, but the workouts have been remarkably consistent. Since mid-March, those workouts have included 3 days of running per week: 1 tempo run (slightly faster than normal), 1 speedwork session (running short distance repeats much faster than normal), and 1 long run (plodding pace). I've done everything I can, training wise, to prepare for the race.

So now I'm to the point where I try to predict the outcome. I've adopted Keith's method of coming up with three different goal times. The first is the baseline level—the very worst time that you could still be okay with, even without severe food poisoning/cramping/other extenuating circumstances. The next is your real goal, which you think is feasible even if it's a bit challenging. The third is your wildest dreams goal: the one where all of the conditions would have to be perfect to achieve it.

For me, for this race, the lowest goal is merely to finish faster than last year. If I finish the race in 1:10:21 (a second faster than last year), this goal will be met. This is really shooting low, however, because last year's race was one of the slowest paces of ANY race, 5k to half-marathon, that I've had in the past 6 years. I've only run one race slower, and that one did involve extenuating circumstances, primarily insane heat and humidity.

My real goal is to run a 10:15 or 10:20 pace, which would mean finishing in about 64 minutes. I would be incredibly pleased with this result. It would mean that I've made huge strides since last year, and it would be in line with many of my other races. In actuality, my best 10k result ever was a 10:21 pace, so beating that would be very exciting. Based on my tempo runs and speedwork, I think this is a possibility.

My crazy goal would be to finish in under an hour. This would be a huge long shot, because that would mean a 9:39 pace. I've only run less than a 10:00 pace a handful of times, and they all happened the summer before I got pregnant, when I was training really hard for my first half-marathon. The stars really would have to align perfectly, the course would need to be straight downhill (it's not), and I would also require a formidable wind at my back to make this happen. So I'm not planning on anything close to this ... but I can dream.

Wish us all luck!

It's a Blessing ... and a Curse

A few weeks ago, I bought a book about running for Keith, since he was in the midst of marathon training. It wasn't a training manual, though, but more of a writer's thoughts about the act of running. In What I Talk About When I Talk About Running, Haruki Murakami ruminates on what running has meant to him throughout his life, mentally, physically, and emotionally. Why does he consider himself a runner? What does that mean? What traits set runners apart from others?

How do I know that's what the book is about, when it was a present for Keith? Because I gave it to him, and promptly stole it off his nightstand and started reading it. Keith did steal it back a few days later, so I'm not very far into it. But I've already read quite a few ideas that have stuck with me.

In particular, Murakami talks about why he started running regularly. Pretty much, when he quit tending bar and started writing full-time, he also started to put on some weight and wasn't happy about it. Unlike his wife, who could eat whatever she wanted and never gain a pound, he sat at a computer all day and his waist was expanding. So he started running.

This is pretty typical. What I found refreshing—and challenging—was how he turned his slowing metabolism and new-found love for running into such a positive. He argued that those of us (and I am definitely included in this group) whose bodies are more sensitive to bad influences like the lack of exercise and an overabundance of unhealthy food are actually the lucky ones. We have motivation to change our bad habits because we dislike the way we look and feel. People whose bodies don't reflect their unhealthy lifestyle are much less likely to change, and will be more unhealthy in the long run. In Murakami's words:

But when I think about it, having the kind of body that easily puts on weight was perhaps a blessing in disguise [....] Life can be tough, but as long as you don't stint on the effort, your metabolism will greatly improve with these habits, and you'll end up much healthier, not to mention stronger [....] For the reasons I give above, I think this physical nuisance should be viewed in a positive way, as a blessing. We should consider ourselves lucky that the red light is so clearly visible. Of course, it's not always so easy to see things this way.

I agree with so much about this attitude. Both that it's healthy and affirmative to see my body's sensitivity to food and exercise as a blessing .... and that it's a very difficult attitude to maintain. I'm working on it.

Spring Forward to Darkness

I feel like I'm the only one who isn't happy about the time change this past weekend. Everyone else I've talked to is excited about having more light in the evenings. It's a sign of Spring—longer days filled with sunshine and warmth.

I'm all good with the sunshine and warmth part. But I really liked it better when it got light early, and dark early. Last summer, when Eleanor was a year old, I finally accepted that I would have to work out first thing in the morning if I wanted any kind of guarantee of exercising on a regular basis. I ran a lot in the mornings leading up to my half-marathon on November 1. I completely fell off the exercise wagon through the holidays.

In mid-January, I started exercising again (although not running—it was still much too cold and snowy for that!). I've generally been working out 5 days/week, 4 weekdays and Sunday. Keith leaves for work around 7 o'clock, so I try to get up at 6 and be finished working out by 7. I figure even if Eleanor's awake by then, she can talk to herself for a few minutes while I shower and get dressed.

So yeah, 6 o'clock. Before time change, I was really enjoying the fact that the sun was coming up with me. I felt so much more cheerful when I would go down into the basement to work out, and come up to be greeted by a bright new day, already in progress.

But now, it's still the middle of the night before, during, and after my morning workout. Surely, that must be the reason why I've been completely unable to drag myself out of bed and missed every workout this week. I had gotten a glimpse of life in the sun, and I miss it.

On the other end of the day, for me, early darkness is better. When it was dark by 7:30, it was perfect for putting Eleanor to bed. I would close her blinds and "blackout" curtains, turn off the lamp, and the room would be perfectly dark. She would settle in against the curve of my shoulder, happy to fall asleep with the knowledge that the excitement of the day was done.

But now, I go through the usual ritual, turn off the lamp ... and her room is still lit by daylight seeping in under the blinds and through the curtains. It keeps her alert, looking around at her books and toys and ready for the playing to continue.

I know that, eventually, the mornings will become light at 6 o'clock. And by that time, it will also be warm enough that I'm excited to get up and out for an early run. But the early evening light isn't going away anytime soon. Maybe I need better blackout curtains .... or I can convince Eleanor to wear those night sleep masks?

Race Results

Well, it's over. And I finished! Let's start with that.

I finished, but it wasn't pretty. I ran with my mother-in-law, Karen, for the first couple miles. But they were both under 10 minutes per mile and I knew I wouldn't be able to maintain that pace, so I bid her farewell and slowed down.

Like with my 12-mile training run, the first six miles were pretty good. I sped up one mile, slowed down the next, but I averaged just over 10 minutes / mile, because at the six-mile mark my watch said 61 minutes and change.

Unfortunately, I had 7.1 more miles to go. I don't know exactly what happened. All throughout my training, I kept wondering if I was doing enough—putting in enough miles—to be truly prepared for the race. In the end, I don't think I was prepared. From mile 8 onward, I kept slowing down. It was just as much of an effort to do an 11-minute mile as it had been to go at a 10:15 pace a few miles back. Everything started to ache, and then my stomach cramped up again around mile 10.

But, as I said, I finished. Two years ago, I ran my first half-marathon in 2 hours and 13 minutes. Best-case scenario for this race was to be near to that time. Second best would be to finish in under 2:20. Third best would be to at least finish in under 2:30. So I did manage that part—I finished in 2:25, averaging just over 11-minutes per mile.

I think I'm glad I did it. I know that I couldn't have done any more; I felt awful after the race was over. Dizzy and ready to throw up. I was completely out of commission for several hours, and just curled up in a ball on the couch and fell asleep until I felt a little better.

So, overall, no regrets. I didn't know how it would go, but it was important for me prove to myself that I could do it again. I'm glad I set that goal, I enjoyed doing the best I could with the training, and I did finish the half-marathon.

However, in the future, if I'm not sure how much time I can devote to training, I think I'll stick to 5ks and 10ks. My opinion now is that you can kinda "fake" a 5k or 10k and muddle through, but you can't fake a half-marathon. My body wasn't fully prepared, and it showed.

Now we're headed off to Costa Rica. I'm ready for a break! I'm not packing my running shoes; if I want to get in some exercise, I'll swim in the gorgeous, warm ocean waters.

But once we get back, there's a 10k Thanksgiving Day Race in Cincinnati. I have been doing a lot of speedwork and tempo runs during my half-marathon training. Currently, my 10k PR is a 10:21 min/mile pace from the Flying Pig 10k in 2007. If I finished a half-marathon at an 11:04 pace, maybe I can set a new 10k PR in a few weeks....

100% Chance of Being Wrong

For a while, my running was sporadic. First I was sick, and then it poured rain for a week straight. Not just drizzled, but miserable, cold, relentless downpours.

I decided I really needed to get back into the swing of things, and recommitted to doing all of my workouts in the final weeks before the half-marathon. Immediately after deciding that, I checked the weather forecast on Wednesday evening to see what I needed to wear for my Friday morning run. It was going to be in the 30s and was going to rain. Not just maybe. Weather.com was boldly proclaiming that the chance of rain was 100%. I had never seen such a thing before!

I went to bed depressed. I had just promised myself to be faithful and really stick to the schedule, and I was going to skip my workout. Because there was no WAY I was getting out of bed at 5:00am when it was freezing cold AND raining. I may be crazy, but I'm not that crazy.

Keith, wonderful, supportive guy that he is, talked me down from the ledge. He reasonably pointed out that I just shouldn't worry about it because it was out of my hands. Get ready to run in the morning, assume I would run in the morning, and then reassess when my alarm went off.

The next morning, I prepared to hit snooze and snuggle down into bed, listening to the rain pattering on the windows. Instead, I heard nothing. So I dragged myself out of bed and took Beckett for our run. It was a fantastic run, and it didn't rain the entire time we were out there.

Why am I thinking to tell you this now? Because I just checked the forecast for my run tomorrow morning, and Weather.com again predicts 100% chance of rain during the 5 o'clock and 6 o'clock hours of the morning.

But this time, I'm not scared. The race is this coming Sunday, so I'm extra motivated to get in my last few runs. And I only have to do 4x400s, so it's a quick run. Even if I hear rain pounding against the windows and overrunning the gutters, I'm heading out for my run. I think.

And if the rain deters me, well, at least the forecast was right for once!

About that Long Run

As I've mentioned before, I've been training for the Inland Trail Half-Marathon. My training has been sketchy, at best. I kept telling myself to do the best I can, to get in as many runs as I can, and just see what happens. I figured that my 12-mile training run would let me know whether I'm ready or not.

That training run took place this past weekend, and it was a nightmare.

The first six miles went fine. I was feeling good, on pace, happy about my half-marathon prospects. But, alas, the half-marathon is much longer than six miles. Keith and I had gone out to the Inland Trail itself, and ran straight out and back to the car to re-familiarize ourselves with the course. So at six miles, I turned around and headed back in. I walked for a few minutes, eating jelly beans and drinking water.

This part is important. If you're a runner, you might assume I had the Sport Beans, which are "specially formulated with sports performance in mind. Sport Beans provide a source of easily digestible carbohydrate for fuel, the electrolytes sodium and potassium for proper fluid balance, and B1, B2, B3, and C vitamins for energy metabolism and good health."

That would be a sensible guess. But unfortunately, we'd run out of time the day before to purchase either Sport Beans or my preferred Shot Bloks (cran razz is my favorite). So I decided to wing it, and just use normal jelly beans. How different can it be?

In summary, I was doubled over by mile 9 and walked most of miles 10-12. I completely imploded. Pretty much my worst-case scenario, especially when hoping that the 12-mile run would prove to myself that I was ready for the half.

So, now what? In the end, I'm still planning on signing up for the half. I know that I've done enough training that I should be able to go the distance. And if I didn't sign up, I would always wonder whether I could have done it or not. After weeks of time and effort, I would rather try and fail than not try at all.

To get myself in the right frame of mind, I'm placing all of the blame for my horrible run this past weekend squarely on the jelly beans. I'm assuming that my training is fantastic, I'm completely up to the task, and if I don't eat jelly beans the day of, I'll be fine.

Mostly in Training

Trying to train for the half-marathon has been a challenge. Both in terms of motivation and opportunity, I have been somewhat lacking.

Last week, I missed my mid-week runs because I had some kind of food poisoning or other stomach ailment, and I was not fit for rolling out of bed at 5am to run. I did, however, manage to finish my 10-mile run over the weekend, and I was happy about that.

Then yesterday, I was determined to get back on the horse and get out first thing in the morning, so I didn't fall out of the habit. I did drag myself out of bed not too long after the alarm first went off. I was only halfway through getting dressed, however, when I heard rain beating against the windows and bolstered by a cold, brisk wind.

I immediately scurried back to the bedroom, threw off my running clothes and slipped back into my pajamas and still-warm side of the bed. And then I worked until 7 o'clock in the evening yesterday, followed by errands, and didn't get home until 8:30. So running in the evening wasn't an option.

I just don't know what to think about this upcoming race. And it's coming up sooner than I think—just a month away. Am I going to be prepared for it? Am I going to be happy with my time? I'd like to think that I'll be happy just to finish .... or even just to get to the starting line ..... but I'm not convinced. I tend to be a rather competitive person; I'm not sure if I'm capable of just being happy to be there.

Hopefully I can do my tempo run tomorrow morning and my 8-mile run goes well this weekend, and I'll feel like I'm back on track. In 2 weeks, I am doing my longest run of the training—12 miles—and if I can do that, I will feel confident that finishing the race is within my grasp. But is that enough?

In the Spotlight

So if I can harp on it just one more time, I broke my finger two years ago while running before dawn. That put me off running before work for awhile. (Plus, you know, pregnancy and then having a baby to care for and all.)

But recently, I decided to start running early in the day again. Mostly because of that whole baby thing; it's really the only time that I can count on it happening. I was excited, but nervous. What if I fell and broke my wrist this time. How stupid would I seem THEN?!? To do it once is understandable. But twice is a little ridiculous.

I did run a few times when it was still dark out, and I just felt so vulnerable. I spent the whole time looking at my feet. Was that a shadow? Or is my foot about to be swallowed by a mammoth pothole? I was happy to be getting out again, but it wasn't the most enjoyable experience ever.

But then I remembered that, for his birthday, my Mother-in-law gave Keith a running headlamp. He's never worn it (I guess, for some reason, he feels it's unnecessary when he runs downtown on his lunch hour). So I had to hound him to dig it up, but he found it eventually. And wow! What a difference it makes.

I feel so much better and more secure running with my very own headlight. Literally. So far I've chosen to use the one that clips onto the underside of a baseball hat brim, which somehow seems slightly less dorky looking than the contraption that actually straps directly to your head.

There are a few things that I need to keep in mind, however:

1. I can't look other runners in the eyes and nod a friendly "Hello!" without blinding them.
2. I feel bad for Beckett when he has to make a pitstop, because I'm watching and waiting for him to finish (especially if it's something I'm going to have to pick up), and that means he is in a spotlight of sorts. No privacy here!
3. I can't try to peer into softly lit windows without giving away my voyeuristic tendencies. This morning I was running past this gorgeous mansion that I am always curious about. I fantasize about moving in there—there's even a second apartment on the grounds, above the garage and just past the pool, where visitors could stay or that could become my writing nook. (Because of course, for us to move into this place either Keith would have to create a bestselling web app or iPod app or I would have to write The Great American Novel.) So anyway, this morning I was running past about 5:45am and I saw a light on. Could I see inside? What was the decor like? Was it one of the owners that was up already? Or do they actually have servants? As I turned to get a better look, I saw the beam of my headlamp flash over the curb, up over the lush green grass and well-trimmed shrubberies, and into the window itself. I quickly looked back at my feet and picked up the pace.

Greeting the Dawn

At 5:45 this morning, it was still dark out. I finished lacing up my shoes, turned on my iPod, and leashed up Beckett for our morning run.

I used to really enjoy running before work. Mondays, Wednesday, Fridays, Beckett and I would get up and head out for 3-5 miles and be back in time for me to shower, get dressed, and still be only my typical 10 minutes late to work. As long as I could drag myself out of bed, it was a great way to start the day.

But then I broke my finger, tripping in the pre-dawn darkness. And then I got pregnant and wasn't running anymore. And then I had Eleanor and REALLY wasn't running anymore. Or walking the dog, or sleeping regular, or anything else that defines the parameters of a normal, balanced life.

Slowly over the past year, I've been reclaiming some normal activities. Sleep came first, because our wonderful daughter is a great sleeper. Then occasionally walking the dog, working part-time, and even the rare occasion of hanging out with friends or going on a date with Keith. Finally, in the past few weeks, I've been making much more of an effort to run regularly.

To be honest, it hasn't been working that well. My long runs on the weekend get bumped because of going out of town, camping, etc. And it's still hard to fit in the weekday runs, even being home all day on Wednesdays and Fridays. The problem, I've decided this week, is that Eleanor is still too young to really enjoy the running stroller. When she's awake, she wants to be on the move. She doesn't want to be kicked back, taking in the scenery. And I can only take her when she's very awake, otherwise she'll fall asleep for 15 minutes during the run and then refuse to take her nap at home, which should actually be 1-2 hours. Not good.

I decided this last Friday when, for the 3rd time in a row, she got fussy after 20 minutes in the running stroller. The other two times I managed to placate her enough to make it to the end of the run. But trying to sing "Short Skirt / Long Jacket" while powering up a hill is not my idea of a good time. On Friday, I just gave up and headed for home, very frustrated.

So, although I've been avoiding it for some time, I've finally come to the conclusion that, if I want to be certain of my weekday runs, I'll have to do them in the morning before she wakes up. This means getting out of bed by 5:30am. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but now that I've made that decision, I'm really excited about it.

I thought Beckett might be slow to catch on. I figured today I would have to roust his sleepy butt out of bed and shove him out the door, and maybe by Friday he'd be back into the swing of things. But he surprised me by hopping out of bed while I was brushing my teeth, and waiting for me at the back door when I came down the stairs. I think he missed our morning runs even more than I did!

The sky was just starting to lighten at the edges when we walked down the driveway and headed away from the house. I think I may have to steal Keith's headlamp to feel confident I won't have another spectacular wipe-out, as the days are only going to get shorter. But by the time we were home, the sky was light, I was tired but happy, and Beckett was ready for water and food.

I got a quick shower, since Eleanor was already talking to herself by the time I headed upstairs. I threw on some clothes and, for the first time in a long time, was ready to greet Eleanor cheerfully and happy that I already had my run in.

I think this is going to be a good thing. I had forgotten the difficulty of picking up a pile of steaming dog poop in the pre-dawn light. But other than that, I had a great time!

Using a Time-Turner?

Yesterday, I managed to sleep in AND get an early morning run. How is that possible?

It's all in your perception, my friend. The key is that my definition of "sleeping in" has changed significantly over the past year. Nowadays, I consider sleeping in to be anything past when Eleanor wakes up. So if Eleanor starts chattering away at 6am, but Keith gets up with her so I can sleep until 6:3o ... that counts as sleeping in! Because I know that I got bonus sleep.

On Sunday, Eleanor did indeed wake up at 6 o'clock, happy and alert. Happy is always good, but 6 o'clock was EARLY. Especially since she didn't go to be until after 9 o'clock the night before—when her normal bedtime is 8pm. I felt bad for Keith, but reveled in the feeling of snuggling back under the covers. Every once in a while, the sound of Eleanor's laughter or Keith's talking filtered back up, past the covers, into my dreams. But I knew she was happy and being taken good care of, so I went right back to sleep.

I was planning on sleeping in until 7 ... I rolled over and looked at the clock at 7:12. I told myself I should really get up .... but then Gomez came and laid on me. So I didn't actually get up until 7:30.

So that is how I "slept in" until 7:30. It felt restful and decadent. And then I got dressed and was out the door around 8 o'clock for 5-mile run with Beckett. I love running in the morning, and I so rarely get to do it anymore. Being out before everyone is up, the cool weather, the morning sunshine, knowing that your run is under your belt and you can face the rest of the day with a good conscience.

99.9% of the time, I complain about how being a mother means I have no time to myself. But this is one way that having Eleanor around makes it seem like I have more time. Or I guess it just means that I value my time much more highly. I love that getting out of bed before 8 o'clock can seem like a treat, but I still have the rest of the day, stretching ahead of me.

This Blog Is the Man

There were lots of comments, electronically and otherwise, on the last post about keeping track of diet and fitness. I would love to offer this blog as a place for my friends and readers to let me / the world know how their efforts at healthy living are going.

I know that a certain person is training for her first full marathon, another particular husband is shooting for a new 5k PR, and some of us are trying to lose baby weight, or maintain that weight loss.

Although this isn't specifically a fitness blog (you should head over to FitGeGe for that), I'm always looking for motivation, encouragement, and tips. So, if anyone is interested, I would be happy to commit to posting on a somewhat regular basis (every two weeks or so?) about my progress or lack thereof on my weight loss and fitness goals. And hearing from everyone in the comments about how things are going for you ... or have the occasional guest post from someone who has a product they'd like to talk about or a technique that works for them.

Let me know what you think!

You Are The Man

Keith has had the Nike Plus for a few years now. His enthusiasm goes in waves; sometimes he uses it religiously, and other times (probably when he's not training as hard) he can take it or leave it. When he does use it, he really enjoys uploading his runs and tracking the stats about how far he ran in each month, when he ran fastest and slowest during each month, etc.

Knowing of his interaction with the Nike Plus, an article on Wired caught my eye the other week, titled "The Nike Experiment: How the Shoe Giant Unleashed the Power of Personal Metrics." The article discusses how seeing and analyzing the workout data motivates people to keep going. In particular, I found the reference to the Hawthorne Effect, where workers performed better just because they knew they were being watched, fascinating.

I would say that this blog is a form of the Hawthorne Effect. I put it out there to the world when I have running or weight loss goals, or all of my various New Year's resolutions. And whether anyone happens to read the post or not, I think I'm being watched, so it gives me motivation to keep to my goals.

I don't think I want to get a Nike Plus; I already have the desire to run. Maybe I need to get something that counts calories as I consume them, and then tweets them out to the universe. Or have surveillance cameras installed in the kitchen. Just the thought makes me shudder!

Why Running Vs. Other Cardio?

A friend from high school recently asked me via email why I run vs. other types of cardio workouts. Neither Ellen nor I were "runners" in high school, we were active but didn't run for the sake of running. But in our adult lives, we've both taken up the sport; she's a more recent convert than me, and is still wondering whether it's all worth it.

I think she was asking from the perspective of actual physiological benefits. Unfortunately, I don't have much information on that front. But it did get me started thinking about why I, personally, choose to run.

One big factor is the ease. You lace up a pair of shoes, walk out the door, and go. And actually, being able to walk out the door and have nice running routes right there was a factor when we were looking at houses and neighborhoods.

Another factor is the versatility. Running is as hard or as easy as you make it .... okay, it's never really easier. But you can choose to walk if you're having a rough day, or you can pick up the pace and add in some hills if you have energy to burn.

I also appreciate that it gives me time away from everything else. If I were to do a workout video in the basement, I would still hear the phone ring or the baby crying. I just want to go.

And finally, I like that it is a sport that lends itself to goals. Big ones (like a half-marathon) and small ones (make it to the next light post without walking). I am constantly setting running goals. Sometimes I make them, sometimes not. But either way I know that running will always be challenging for me. I will always feel better after having gone for a run, whether it was a good run or not. And, after many years of not accepting it, I'm proud to call myself a "runner."

Shout Out to Keith "Speed Demon" Lubbers

I just wanted to give Keith a quick shout-out for his fantastic 5k finish last weekend. After finishing his second marathon in the beginning of May (that's a post-marathon picture, not from the 5k, lest anyone give me a hard time for the Flying Pig medal on display), his goal for the summer was to focus on speedwork and achieve a sub-20 minute 5k for the first time since high school.

He entered last Sunday's race just to get an idea of where he was at in his training, and how far he had to go to achieve his goal .... and he attained it! He finished in 19:57 and placed 3rd. Not 3rd in his age group, but 3rd OVERALL.

I think that's pretty freakin' impressive! Congratulations, Keith!


*I'm sure he'll insist that I mention the fact that the race was mostly downhill, but I think
that's a minor footnote. A slightly downhill course is not going to take that much time off. I have no doubt his excellent time was due 99.9% to his hard work and speedy legs.

5k Fiasco

I feel the need to clarify from the beginning: For once, I am not the fiasco to which the title refers. Rather, the organization of the 5k Run Wild for a Cure event this past weekend was a mess.

Based on my 10k, I decided that a finish time between 32 and 34 minutes would be okay, and a time under 32 minutes would be fantastic. On the way to the race in the morning, I visualized myself at the start: nervous but excited. Getting off to a decent pace, a bit faster than on my usual runs, but easily maintainable. I would stay strong and keep everything in check for the first mile, leading up to the huge hill that starts Mile 2. I would power up the hill, and at the top, I'd feel a sense of accomplishment because the race was half over, the hill was behind me, and I knew I would be able to finish strong. At that point, I would pick up the pace and make the most of going back down the hill to relax my muscles but still use the momentum to pick up speed. I would tough it out through the last mile, and fly across the finish line. I pictured myself with a finish time of 31:45—just enough below my expected finish range to be exciting but possible.

I was excited and nervous at the start, so it was all going according to plan. People flew by me left and right, which I'm getting used to. I held my pace, and started passing people about 1/2 mile in. I was feeling pretty good, closing in on the one-mile mark and the uphill. I reached a fork in the road, and veered right to head towards the hill. Not everyone was going the same way, however.

It was a mess. There was a huge surge of runners, I wasn't sure if they had started the 1 mile race? Wasn't that just a walk, though? Either way, a lot of runners were charging up the initial incline and heading left and right, willy nilly. No one seemed to know where they were going, and there was a lot of shouting going on. I just held to my course, because I had run this race before and knew exactly where I was going. But I felt bad for the other runners, who had obviously been misdirected.

Then I reached the bottom of the hill. A person stood next to the one-mile marker, yelling out splits. From a few feet away, I heard her .... but I must have misunderstood. She was yelling out times that were past the 13-minute mark. That was impossible!

From my perceived rate of exertion, and my breathing, and how my legs felt ... I was expecting a time anywhere between 10 and 11 minutes. 13 was wayyy past the acceptable range. And I hadn't even gotten to the hill yet!

I was so depressed. I completely lost my motivation. I struggled up the hill, walking part of it, and then walking through the water station afterwards. A walker charged past me. A cheetah paced in her cage, seeing all us back-of-the-packer's as easy food.

I just couldn't believe I was so off in judging my pace, based on how I felt. Maybe my legs were still tired from the 10k? Maybe I didn't drink enough water that morning?

By this point, I just wanted to get the stinkin' race over with. I trudged back down the hill, doing my best to make up a little time and maybe, just maybe, finish somewhere near my goal pace.

At the bottom of the hill, a different person was calling out times. When I passed, he said it was 21 minutes and some. I thought, "Well, that would be great if that was my 2-mile time! Too bad it's just the 1-mile time for the runners/walkers going up the hill."

And then I kept running, and kept thinking about it .... and there was no Mile 2 marker. But surely I had run further than that. So maybe Mile 1 and Mile 2 were at the same point, at the bottom of the hill? And maybe I really had passed Mile 2 in 21-some minutes?!?

By this point, I didn't know what to think anymore. I knew the race was a fiasco, because I had seen other runners being misdirected. So wasn't it also possible the time-keepers were also off? And I hadn't run the first mile in over 13 minutes? I gave up trying to figure it out, and just did my best to finish strong, as per the original plan.

I came around the final curve and saw the clock at the finish line: it was just past 32 minutes. I ended up crossing the finish line at about 32:30. So definitely within the acceptable range, and so close to the fantastic goal!

For the rest of the day, I wasn't sure how to feel about the race. I was happy with my time, but so frustrated because I felt like I could definitely have done better, if they hadn't messed with my mind at the 1-mile mark. In the end, I decided to be happy with it. It was a good time, and I was lucky to at least be one of the runners who ran the whole course and finished.

And now I have a good starting point for the rest of the summer. Our next planned race is a 5k at the end of June. I hope to be under the 30-minute mark for that one. And I hope the organizers do a better job of running the race!