Right, so. I wrote a post on June 4 ... and haven't been back in almost three weeks. I know this is very unlike me, and hasn't happened since Eleanor was just a wee babe. But I've been pondering.
To be honest, I was incredibly disappointed—even more so than I would have anticipated—that I poured my heart out about our problems with the lead paint, and ...
crickets. No one had any response to my concerns, despair, emotions over what was a very huge deal to me. One person did comment on the contractor aspect of it (thanks, Jonathan;) but that was all the response I got.
And it really stung. It absolutely made me take a step back. Why am I blogging? Initially I started blogging because I thought it would help me write on a more regular basis. But I've realized, over the years, that the writing I'm doing on the blog is really a separate beast from writing to be published. The entire process, from initial conception to actual drafting to the final piece, is different from what I would send out for publication.
But I thought there was another element to writing a blog. Even though it now seems like writing a blog actually takes away writing time from writing to publish, I still thought it was worth it because people read it. There's a connection between myself and my readers. There's a shared experience there that is worth pursuing. If someone reads my blog and finds something in it that makes her laugh, or that he empathizes with, or that makes her realize something about her own life .... then in that sense, it is equal to being published. It's the idea behind all writing: the sharing of ideas and emotions that connects people.
I've worked hard to keep my readers over the past few years. I may not have many of you, but those that I do, I appreciate! Thinking about "my adoring fans" (said completely tongue-in-cheek, of course) has helped me to keep thinking of new post ideas, and just generally has kept me writing.
But to put myself out there, in a way that is beyond what I would normally do .... and then get no response .... that has made me question my basic premise. Is that connection really there? Is anyone really reading? Is anyone getting anything out of this blog?
I know there's some people who read that don't often comment. But if you want me to keep writing this blog, now might be a good time to mention it. Because, honestly, I'm still on the fence. If people aren't reading and enjoying what I post, then I don't think a blog is worth it. I can jot a few ideas in a personal diary, and then spend most of my time working on pieces for publication. But if no one is getting anything out of this blog, then it might have reached its useful end.