We're doing the drive from Cincinnati to Cleveland, through some of the most boring landscape in the continental U.S.--except for the highlight of Grandpa's Cheesebarn, of course. (Gifts! Souvenirs!)
In honor of the trek, I'd like to do a sporadic early holiday countdown:
- 10 = number of times we'll be cut off by a car that refuses to signal, like if they pretend they're not wandering 2 feet in front of our bumper, we won't notice. The vehicular equivalent of a man whistling and staring at the sky while cutting in line at the cash register.
- 9 = number of Hummers (1, 2 or 3) with vanity plates. Because it's not enough that you spent more than a 20% house down payment; you also have to prove that you have money left over to spend on frivolities like a license plate that declares "FLTHY RCH"
- 7 = number of times I drift off during the drive, because being in a moving vehicle never fails to put me to sleep. It makes me feel like a 3-year-old, fighting to keep my eyes open. But if it makes the drive go faster, I guess I shouldn't complain.
- 5 = number of times I'll see Spongebob Squarepants on TVs in the back of hi-tech vans. What happened to punching each other and staring? Kids these days.
- 3 = number of times I'll admit to falling asleep during the drive.
- 1 = number of nerves I'll have left when we finally arrive at my parents' house. It's a good thing I actually like my family.
2 comments:
Dad was holding his breath during the last one- he was afraid it wa going to be
1- the number of minutes it will take for my dad to piss me off!
Ah yes, the trip....somewhere about 45 minutes until I hit home I must zone out becaue I never remember that last chunk of the trip from Dayton to Cleveland. It is my "twilight zone" on the raod!
Post a Comment