Well, I have my official job interview today.
Forget that I've been doing this job for over a year and a half. That whole time I've been a temp, unworthy of benefits or paid sick days or any indication that I couldn't just be replaced by another temp with a snap of one's fingers.
I've actually been really conflicted about staying in one position as a "temp" for such a long time. Am I selling myself short? Getting paid very little and with no benefits or paid time off? I also felt guilty because I felt like I was helping to prop up a seriously flawed system. By going along with it, I felt like I was saying it was okay to use people in this way. And by letting them pay me less than I'm worth, I'm preventing other people with similar skills from making a decent wage because employers know that there's suckers like ME that won't be so demanding.
But on the other hand, I like the people I work with and I actually find the job interesting and (occasionally) challenging. I didn't really want to expend the time and energy necessary to find another job. Another job that might pay better, but also had the possibility of making my life infinitely more miserable.
Mostly I stayed because I'm lazy and indecisive AND because I really admire my boss, who has told me multiple times that she is trying her best to wend her way through the bureaucracy and hire me full time. I have always believed that she meant to do right by me (not to sound like I'm referring to a pregnant junior in high school who just wanted a date to the prom). And today is the proof that she meant what she said. I'm really glad that my faith wasn't misplaced, and that the possibility of a "real job" has become more tangible.
On the other hand, to keep things kosher they are interviewing another candidate, as well as me. I can't decide how I feel about this. The job should be mine, right? So I feel bad that they’re wasting someone else’s time and energy on a job he/she won’t get. Yet, if they are seriously considering the other candidate, I’m going to be royally pissed and feel like I was completely mislead. Either way, someone’s not happy. So I guess in this situation, I should just hope for the happy person to be me!
Wish me luck ....
*BlogFriday word: Old