Well, I have my official job interview today.Forget that I've been doing this job for over a year and a half. That whole time I've been a temp, unworthy of benefits or paid sick days or any indication that I couldn't just be replaced by another temp with a snap of one's fingers.
I've actually been really conflicted about staying in one position as a "temp" for such a long time. Am I selling myself short? Getting paid very little and with no benefits or paid time off? I also felt guilty because I felt like I was helping to prop up a seriously flawed system. By going along with it, I felt like I was saying it was okay to use people in this way. And by letting them pay me less than I'm worth, I'm preventing other people with similar skills from making a decent wage because employers know that there's suckers like ME that won't be so demanding.
But on the other hand, I like the people I work with and I actually find the job interesting and (occasionally) challenging. I didn't really want to expend the time and energy necessary to find another job. Another job that might pay better, but also had the possibility of making my life infinitely more miserable.
Mostly I stayed because I'm lazy and indecisive AND because I really admire my boss, who has told me multiple times that she is trying her best to wend her way through the bureaucracy and hire me full time. I have always believed that she meant to do right by me (not to sound like I'm referring to a pregnant junior in high school who just wanted a date to the prom). And today is the proof that she meant what she said. I'm really glad that my faith wasn't misplaced, and that the possibility of a "real job" has become more tangible.
On the other hand, to keep things kosher they are interviewing another candidate, as well as me. I can't decide how I feel about this. The job should be mine, right? So I feel bad that they’re wasting someone else’s time and energy on a job he/she won’t get. Yet, if they are seriously considering the other candidate, I’m going to be royally pissed and feel like I was completely mislead. Either way, someone’s not happy. So I guess in this situation, I should just hope for the happy person to be me!
Wish me luck ....
*BlogFriday word: Old
6 comments:
Good luck (not that you should really need it). I hate being judged too - and doing an interview - no matter how it is dressed up - always feels like you are being judged.
My other half is a contractor, and she says that her interviews tend to be the other way around - her interviewing them, to see if it's the sort of place she wants to work.
I hope it went well for you yesterday. Thank you for you kind comments to my blog recently :)
I have enjoyed reading your blog. I would like to add you to my blog roll (if that is ok?)
Yes. It would be in their best interest to hire you. You`ve worked hard for them for a over a year now, you know the job inside and out I bet and it take them time and money to train a new person anyway.. So they`d be fools not to take you on! :)
I shall enjoy reading more of your posts.. Your pets are lovely btw! :)
Thanks for the good thoughts, Jonathan and Tracey! I think it went well; I should know early next week if I have the job or not. I would love to be in the position someday of interviewing the company instead of the other way around, but I'm not there yet.
And Tracey, thanks for reading! I'd be honored to be on your blog roll. And anyone who likes my pets obviously has good taste:)
I knew something special was going on yesterday! I felt very buoyant for no reason at all and sent karmic good will out to whomever may have needed it. I guess it was you!
I agree with Tracey - they *would* be fools not to take you on! You already know the job and your boss obviously thinks highly of you as well.
My fingers are crossed for you! :o) (Not that you need it, I'm just sayin'.)
Hey! Good luck, and fingers crossed!
Again, just wanted to say thanks for the good wishes and crossed fingers:) No news yet ...
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