Welcome to the first installment of an ongoing series, "Is It Really that Hard?" In this forum, we'll discuss how "people" (meaning everyone else but us, of course) make even the simplest task amazingly difficult. In keeping with the theme of a few earlier posts, today's topic is: the grocery store.You make a list, get the items on your list and put them in your cart/basket, and check out. Is it really that hard?
There's countless ways in which shoppers make an economy-sized toilet paper pack purchase out of a pack of gum, if you know what I mean. For example:
- The squeezer/sniffers: Yes, you want your fruit to be fresh. Ripe, flavorful, but not teetering on the edge of illness-inducing decrepitness. That's fair. But exactly how long does it take to determine the fruit's status? How many ways much you check, repeatedly? And why must you leave your cart in front of the peppers I want while you test the tomatoes?
- Poor cart form: Speaking of leaving your cart... what about the people that don't understand the purpose of a grocery cart. I thought a grocery cart was meant as an extension of your arms. You keep it close, and it holds all of the things you can't physically hang on to all at once. Pretty useful! It's not meant as a ramming tool, with which you can careen around the ends of aisles and shove unsuspecting shoppers out of your way. It's not meant as a barrier to prevent people from reaching products that you just might want in the next few minutes. And it's not meant to be left unattended in the middle of a busy aisle because something shiny caught your eye, causing an ugly traffic jam in front of the coffee filters and fresh beans.
- Incessant cell phone talkers: I can almost understand the grocery store conversations along the lines of, "Hey, you wanted Raisin Nut Bran, but there's none on the shelves. Will anything else satisfy that craving for nutty, crunchy, sweet goodness?" I cannot understand the Trigger Happy TV show-esque conversations of, "What are you doing? ... Oh, nothing. I'm just at the store... Yeah, my fridge is empty .... No way! I can't believe she said that. What'd you say?" These conversations are usually carried on at high volume, while the offender is simultaneously committing the cart sins mentioned above. It makes me twitchy
- Checking out faux pas: 1) If you picked up a frozen or refridgerated item while perusing the store and decided not to purchase, don't leave it to melt onto the front of Martha Stewart Living, out of sight of the cashier. Not that I'm a Martha Stewart fan, but really. 2) If you are in an express lane, don't stare into space until the cashier has rung up all your items and bagged them, and then rummage through your purse for a checkbook. Not cool.
3) When you've finished putting your items on the belt, check out etiquette dictates you should put the plastic bar on the belt also, since the person behind you cannot reach it. If you don't put it there, I have to waste half a belt and precious minutes until you've moved out of my way and I can slam down the plastic divider and start loading up my groceries.
But I'm not angry or annoyed when I go grocery shopping at all! Whatever gave you that impression? Maybe I need to start from the alcohol, open a bottle of whisky, and work my way backward. Come on people, is it really that hard?
