Tuesday, December 06, 2005

The Turquoise Lung

You may be familiar with Black Lung, a disease peculiar to coal miners. It’s known as an “occupational disease” because people mine coal for work, not fun.

As a hypochondriac, I have recently diagnosed myself with the recreational form of the disease: Turquoise Lung. About nine months ago, I spent a ridiculous amount of money on decorative yarns to knit a shawl. It would be fabulous—bright turquoise and whites and blues intermingled. Have I ever knitted a shawl before? Of course not! But why should that stop me?

So right up front, before even picking up a knitting needle (I had to go buy new ones of those, too, for this project), this was the most expensive craft project I’d ever done. Now that I have some extra time on my hands, I’ve finally gotten started on the shawl … and I’m afraid it may cost me my health.

Oh yes! I have developed Turquoise Lung. In working with these fluffy, flowing yarns, they have worked their way not only into the beginnings of a fabulous shawl, but also into my body. When I sneeze, I sneeze turquoise. My snot? Turquoise. It’s quite alarming.

I’m almost done with the shawl, which definitely is looking fabulous. I hope to wear it this weekend for Keith’s work party. So if you see me in it, be sure to compliment me on it. And turn discretely away as I cough and pay the price for my recreational activities.