Slightly Uneven Tan

And by "slightly" I mean parts of my face and neck are adorned with strange, geometric figures.

I burn easily. This is why I wear sunscreen every day, in my face moisturizer. Even in Cleveland, which has been excessively cloudy of late, one can never be too careful. Once in middle school I spent an entire day at the beach without sunscreen, and spent the next week in bed until my entire back blistered and peeled off. So I always wear sunscreen.

A week ago today, we were traveling across the Going-to-the-Sun road from West Glacier to the Many Glacier area. We stopped at Logan Pass, which is at the top of the Continental Divide. While there, we learned that the Continental Divide splits the water flow—if it lands on one side, it flows to the Pacific and on the other side to the Arctic Ocean or the Gulf of Mexico. (Did you know that's the big deal about the Continental Divide? I'm sure I knew that at some point in 2nd grade, but it was quickly pushed out of my brain by the fact that Robbie put boogers on his PB&J sandwich.)

So anyway, the Continental Divide is high. Logan Pass, as clearly illustrated in the picture, has an elevation of over 6,000 feet. In contrast, Cleveland's elevation ranges between 600 and 1,100 feet. This is also something I learned the hard way: higher elevation = thinner air = more UV rays + walking across highly reflective snow = oh my god, the burning!

It wasn't really that bad. I do still have skin on my back. But my usual SPF 15 in the moisturized wasn't cutting it. Or it sort of was. I discovered the next day that my nose was burnt, as well as a thin strip of skin just along my hairline that I missed.

So for the hike on Saturday, I covered myself in recently purchased 30 SPF sunblock that smells just like Creamsicles. Which made me a little nauseous, applying it before breakfast. And also made me feel like a bear treat.

You would think this meant I was safe? But no! Apparently a spot on the leftside of my neck somehow escaped the slathering, so in addition to 1) a burnt strip across my forehead, and 2) a gleaming nose, I also have a curved triangle of bright pink skin on my neck/upper back that is slowly fading.

I've never tried very hard to be tan, because I knew that it was probably a genetic impossibility. Once in my life I did feel tan: when we got back from spending a week in Mexico for our honeymoon. The tan didn't live to see the following month, and according to most people I wasn't really that tan anyway.

But now that I have these strange patterns in noticeable places, maybe I should consider going to a tanning salon to try and even things out. But then I would probably not get the sunblock exactly on the burned skin, so I would end up with burned/tan skin, tan skin, and a strip of completely white skin separating the two. If you can imagine it ... but I wouldn't recommend trying.

On second thought, I think I'm just going to stick with being pale. It's coming back into fashion, right?