I don't like going to the dentist's office for many reasons. The muzak, admitting I can't figure out how to use toothpaste, the muzak. But, if I'm being honest here, the real reason why I dislike the dentist's office so much: my teeth are average.I'm somewhat of a perfectionist. I'm used to being top of the class, all As, the nerd who actually read every scene in Hamlet and the accompanying footnotes ... and liked it. The thing is, my teeth are strictly C students. Middle of the road, all the way.
You wouldn't know it to look at them—they're not particularly crooked or falling out of my mouth or anything. They do alright. But that's all they do, and it takes a lot of effort to get that much from them.
When I was younger, I had to get some kind of coating brushed on my teeth because they were weak and susceptible to cavities. I have only had one or two cavities in my life, but that's due to all the fluoride in the water and toothpaste, not to my innate dental abilities. It's the equivalent of remedial classes.
My gums are receding a little, which makes a few of my teeth sensitive, which means I can't rinse my mouth with really cold water. (Probably more than you ever wanted to know about me, but there you go.) And every time at the dentist's office, without fail, their water is ice cold. Straight from the fjords of Norway. Some might call it refreshing, but I can't possibly be the only one in the dentist's office with sensitive teeth. This hasn't occurred to them?
Last time I went to a new dentist, I discovered another way in which my teeth could fall short. They measured my gums to see how deep they were. If they were too deep, that meant the skin was irritated and I wasn't brushing hard enough. (I would say "or flossing hard enough", but I don't floss. Another thing for which I am chastized by a stern dental assistant every six months.)
My teeth build tartar like nobody's business. I hate hearing the scraping and the grunt of effort from the dental assistant as she pries plaque from my incisors. And, of course, my gums bleed because I never floss.
I don't take particularly bad care of my teeth. I promise I take better care than some. So maybe I don't floss enough. Do you know anyone who actually does? Come on! I guess I just need to accept the fact that my teeth will always be average. Smack dab in the middle of the bell curve. Destined to be middle class. Maybe middle managers, but never really rising to the top. They probably think that Thomas Kinkade paintings are masterpieces. *sigh*
And don't even get me started on my eye doctor appointments.
4 comments:
I don't know where my teeth fall in the spectrum, but at my most recent trip to the dentist (last week) they told me that i have "pretty good" teeth. I really don't know what that means other than my teeth are not falling out of my mouth.
This last trip to the dentist was my first in 8-10 years...I really have no idea when my last visit was, but I think I was in high school. So needless to say I was chastized for not flossing, and I need a procedure called a "debridement" which is a fancy cleaning process to remove the tartar (calculus) and plaque build up. They also poked on my gums and called out numbers and decided that I have some minimal inflamation around on a few teeth that I am "missing" when I brush. I need to floss more too, but I am horrible at doing it. They ended up giving me a bag of stuff to take with me, including a prescription mouthwash (Hexaflouride something-or-another) and some freebie toothpaste, a toothbrush, and some floss wands. The name of the mouthwash reminds me of the name of that toxic chemical in Erin Brockovich, Hexavalent Chromimum.
This is turning into a long comment, but my last thought is about flossing. It is such a pain in the ass. It takes time to do it correctly (it adds 10 minutes to my morning routine...so I sometimes skip it.) I tried using the floss wands the dentist gave me and they are OK, but Reach has a new product out there that is essentially like a tooth brush with a snap-on floss wand at the end. This is brilliant! I can finally reach the teeth in the back without streching my face. The trouble is that I think its kinda pricey. Oh well. Take care and keep writing. --Andy
Wow. The posts are really flying. I go to the dentist every 6 months, like a good girl. And I floss every other night. They were rating my teeth and gums too. She kept saying numbers into a tape recorder, and it reminded me of that episode of Friends where Monica was trying to teach Chandler how to please a woman and sketched a woman with numbers on her and was doing the 6 4 2!, 6 4 7!, 7! 7! 7! ... This was the first time they did it. It was kind of strange and unsettling. I like to think that my teeth a B students. And kind of avant. No TK paintings for them.
I have that Reach wand-thing Andy mentioned. I think I've used it twice in the past six months, and now it's just hanging out with my toothbrush in a cup on my sink, mocking me. I went back to the old-school method of flossing on the rare occasions when I do floss.
I don't think anybody flosses, honestly. The assistant at my dentist said to just pick one day a week and do it, so at least I'm flossing one-seventh of the time, and not worry about it. I was glad to hear that, but do I do it? Noooo.
In other tooth-related news: I have the same issues with sensitivity to heat/cold and the receding gum thing. I have no idea of how to deal with the gums, but that same helpful assistant recommended the Sensodyne toothpaste. That helps a little.
My dentist has this odd running joke with me. (This is the guy I started seeing after I moved up to the west side, not the original dentist I saw since birth, so this running joke is really only a few years old.) (I don't know why I felt I had to explain that, but so what. Moving on.)
He comes in after the assistant has done all the heavy lifting, pokes around for a few seconds, sees nothing that needs immediate attention (despite the gum issue and the not flossing and the fact that they're not blindingly white, the teeth themselves are in okay shape), and says, "So, you've just come in to mock me, eh? To say, 'Take that, Tooth Boy!'?" and laughs.
I laugh too--well, as much as you can while in a reclining position with random instruments and/or fingers still poking and prodding away in your mouth. I suppose he's just being goofy to lighten the mood--I'm not really over the absolute terror I used to have for dentist visits as a kid, so I suppose a lame joke helps. I don't really know what caused my fear of the dentist, but it just struck me that this is something that is better reserved for (a) therapy or (b) my own blog [if I had one, that is--I seem to be content with making lengthy comments on Megan's] and I should really shut up already.
Exiting stage left...
Andy--8-10 years?!? Yikes. Good luck with the super-duper cleaning!
It seems that we all agree that flossing is somehow both evil and boring. A coworker went to the dentist the day after me and did not get in trouble for not flossing. She shared her secret with me--she flosses for the week before she goes to the dentist, so her gums don't bleed during the appt. She said it really works! I'm definitely trying it next time. I could say I'll actually floss before then, but we all know I won't.
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