A Chemically-induced Blog

So for reasons I don't want to divulge, I've spent a good part of this morning reading a list of analytical chemical tests on what is one of the ugliest websites ever. Circa 1993 web design.

Anyway, looking at these incredibly complex test names that make very little sense to me actually inspired me to mad-lib blog about them. Because, after a while, the words themselves start to look funny.

Just the other day, I was walking down the odorless light petroleum street when suddenly, out of the house in front of me, bursts a man made of petrolatum wax. It looks wildly about, and spies me and Beckett, standing innocently on the equilibrium reflux boiling point sidewalk.

"Kinematic viscosity!" it cries, a maniacal gleam in its eyes. I think it might have been high on mineral aggregates, because it twitched and saponified a lot. It started moving towards us at a bituminous pace.

Beckett and I turned and ran. Looking back over my shoulder, I could see the Thing congealing, still heading in our direction. At the corner of the street, as we turned, I glimpsed the interfacial tension of oil against water Thing as its foot caught on a Color-Indicator Titration tree root, and it fell.

Even though I thought the Thing was out of ash content, Beckett and I ran the rest of the way home. When we were finally safe inside, I was breathless and had the foaming tendencies of engine coolants in glassware. And that's why I was late to work.