Food Pushers

For the past couple weeks, Keith and I have really tried to eat better and exercise more. I was doing okay, until about the middle of last week.

While some might attribute my downfall to a complete and utter lack of willpower, that's not entirely correct. I do have a modicum of willpower, it's just useless in the face of Food Pushers. It's like using kryptonite to try and deflect Spiderman: can't be done.

I don't entirely get the Food Pusher's mentality. I can understand trying to be a good host and offering drinks/food once or twice. But the office FP last week told me three times that I had to try this carrot cake—it was the best carrot cake he'd ever tasted. I murmured polite disinterest or noncommittal noises all three times. Finally, he yelled from the other office for me to come over and stood in the doorway until I came over and got a piece of cake.

This is annoying. I can't make my own decisions about eating? When I'm trying to eat healthy, sometimes I do make bad choices. But I'd rather make my own choices, not be forced into consuming 2 million fatty calories by a Food Pusher.

I've been trying to think of ways to put off Food Pushers, because going the nonconfrontational, lack of interest route doesn't seem to be very effective. I'm considering becoming allergic to anything that may be pushed in my direction. The problem there would be, six months down the road, when I'm caught eating something I'm "allergic" to.

But here's the thing: I'm not the one with a problem. The Food Pushers are the ones that really need to change, not me. So think about this: Do you:

• Offer guests/co-workers food more than three times in five minutes?


• Never take "no" for an answer?


• Act mortally insulted if someone tries to turn down your food offering?

If you answered "yes" to any and all of those questions, then you're a Food Pusher and it's annoying. Stop it right now.