"I just want to have someone to kiss."Or at least, that's what I proclaimed to my girlfriends the week before Valentine's Day, freshman year at UD.
Actually, that wasn't true. A truer statement would have been, "I want a specific someone to kiss." At this point, I already had a crush on Keith. We hadn't talked too much in person, but we'd had a really funny, creative e-mail exchange going. I can't remember all the details--something about cowboys? that's all I know--but his responses were witty enough that I wanted to learn more. I was, shall we say, intrigued.
Unfortunately, Keith was smart and wayyyy too savvy to saddle himself with a girlfriend the week before Valentine's Day. (Cowboy pun intended.) When I hinted around, he said that he was hanging out in a "love sucks" fest with some other single guys.
I was bemoaning my Valentine's Day outlook to my friend Jill, who proffered the perfect solution. She had a high school friend who was at Ohio Northern. His fraternity was having a Valentine's Party this weekend—we could go, have a good time, he'd introduce me to some of his frat brothers .. and I would have someone to kiss.
Except, of course, I didn't actually want to kiss someone other than Keith. So this standby, whoever it may be, was not going to lasso my heart. And it went downhill from there, in predictable Valentine's fashion.
For the 97% of my readers who have never been there, Ohio Northern is in the middle of a field. Seriously. I was pretty nervous when we got there, since Jill and her friend were taking the plan to find me a man a little too seriously. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I drank freshman year, but that night I was ready for the strawberry margaritas I could hear being blended in the kitchen, to ease the tension.
Except we got to the kitchen ... and discovered that the margaritas were alcohol-free. That's right, a dry frat party. In case you were wondering, frat boys lose much of their charm sans alcohol. Not that these guys were particularly charming to begin with.
Jill and her friend did find a guy for me, who I then could not shake for the rest of the night. The low point that really makes this the worst Valentine's Day ever was when I saw a strange configuration of drinking straws hanging from the ceiling. When I asked a frat brother what it was, he laughed a real, actual geek laugh and explained that was the molecular configuration of the frat drug. Wait for it, wait for it, ... caffeine.
2 comments:
Is there really such a thing as a dry frat party? Even on dry campuses, I've never been to a dry frat party. Sounds like they could have come up with a full geek cast for Beauty and the Geek at this frat house. *shudder* Poor thing. That has got to be worse than spending V-Day alone.
Unfortunately, I can promise you that dry frat parties exist! If you spend V-day alone, just be glad you weren't surrounded by these frat guys, because it definitely was worse;)
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