Luv Special: Middle School Crush

In retrospect, sometimes I feel sorry for Brian. He must have felt like prey, a harmless little chipmunk crushed in the jaws of my ferocious middle-school girl crush.

One day in 5th grade I decided I had a crush on him because he was smart and had freckles. From then through 7th grade, he was a crushed, helpless chipmunk.

I did the usual middle school girl things. I sat in study hall and wrote "Megan Maguire" "Mrs. Maguire" (I would like to note, however, that even then I was not "Mrs. Brian Maguire"). I carefully penned notes to my friends with heart-dotted i's and copious amounts of exclamation points that were then carefully folded into intricate shapes. The notes usually said things like:

He passed me in the hall today and he didn't even say hi. What does that mean? Yesterday, between 5th and 6th period, I was going to math (ugh, math! Mrs. May is sooooo mean!!) and we passed and he was wearing a blue shirt that matched his eyes. I know because he actually LOOKED at me!!! Our eyes met across the hallway and we made eye contact and I think I smiled at him. I'm not really sure because I was soooo excited!!! But now, today, NOTHING. I can't believe it.

These same friends poked and prodded him into dancing with me at Friday night dances with enough space between our poker-straight arms for the Holy Ghost and everyone at the Last Supper to fit between us. The best was when we danced to Sinead O'Connor's "Nothing Compares." That song is, like 20 minutes long! It was heaven. *sigh*

Sometimes I try to convince myself that I was a confident young woman. I knew what I wanted and I was going after it. Naysayers be damned. But when you're determined to date Brian and Brian is one of the naysayers, that does kind of put a damper on things. And make you look a little more like a stalker than a feminist.

I believe that, with Brian, I also started my curious habit of adapting my interests to my current love interest. With Brian, it was golf. I took lessons so that, if he ever did actually speak to me in the hallway, I could toss around terms like "club" and "ball." I was so awful that I never made it off the practice range and onto the course. And I never got a chance to impress Brian with my knowledge.

After Brian, there was Taylor (soccer, which actually stuck), and Darren (tennis, which I play now but I don't think I can attribute to Darren's influence), Todd (James Bond novels), and more. The peak (or rock bottom depending on your viewpoint) of my teen-aged dating years was when someone actually took up a hobby to impress me.