What: cell phone, circa 1996
When: Last Saturday
How: I remember setting it down ...
If found, please call: Someone other than me, as I seem to be missing my cell phone.
Mostly I'm just trying to say, if you've called me and I haven't called you back: It's not you. It's me. You're still a great person.
p.s. The reward is ... a well-worn copy of Don Quixote, looking suspiciously as if it's been kicked and stomped upon. Not available for two more weeks, though.